I'm terrified that if I were to dwell on all the best things about you for too long, if I allowed all those thoughts to compile themselves and sit with my soul for a while, I would fall and I would not be able to stop myself. And the fall doesn't scare me, I've fallen before knowing the person I'm falling for will not be waiting for me at the bottom. It's the thought of climbing back up, and trying to be your friend, and finding that you're not there either, that stops me from stepping off the edge. I would rather love you in all the acceptable, platonic, slightly lust-fuelled ways and have you in my life, than love you with the energy that I think you deserve to be loved, and not have you at all.
Excerpt from Something I'll Probably Never Write #12
