Self compassion is the antidote.
Whenever you’re feeling down, when you’re feeling ashamed especially- be compassionate to yourself. When you’re having a hard day, do something with the mindset that being kind and gentle and loving to yourself is what will help you. You deserve that kindness. You deserve to feel good.
Do one thing as an act of service for yourself. If you want to do more and fill the day with self care activities- please do. But if you’re only able to manage one thing, please do it. It’s different for everyone. It can be getting a scoop of ice cream. Walking outside for 10 minutes. Laying down under the blankets with your stuffed toy. A guided breathing exercise. Simply sitting down and observing nature. Anything.
Whatever it is- make sure it’s something mindful and not something that distracts you like watching tv or scrolling on your phone. For me- it’s making a cup of hot chocolate.
Hot chocolate has never failed me.
I simply boil a few pieces of 70% dark chocolate in some milk, and while I’m humming (I make myself hum a tune no matter what mood I’m in), I keep stirring without letting the milk come to a boil and when it’s reached that creamy, luscious consistency, I take it off the heat, pour into my pink mug and top it off with some mini marshmallows and shaved dark chocolate. Sometimes I’ll omit the marshmallows and put in a spoon of vanilla ice cream and gently stir. I’ll watch the ice cream melt into little snowy swirls on top of my beautiful hot chocolate and that first little sip- I swear- feels like it reaches my entire nervous system and calms it down. Like a wave of relief and relaxation washing over me.
In my darkest moments, when I feel like I’m so deep in a pit that there’s nothing that could possibly get me out, no light could ever reach down to a darkness that dwells so deep, hot chocolate is an instant cure. A comfort. A balm that soothes my soul. A warm blanket around my freezing heart. A gentle hand that guides me slowly but surely out of that dark pit.
I do this every time I fall into my pit. It has gotten me out every single time. Not right away some days, but it leaves a lasting impact and has reduced the frequency of my ‘mental lows’. It’s imprinted in my mind that when I feel low, I am worth being loved then too. When I feel worthless, I am worth love especially then.
If you’re feeling low today, please do one kind, loving act of service for yourself. You deserve to feel good. You deserve to be shown kindness and love. Especially if the person showing that to you is you.
