It’s easy to make a proper piggy breakfast!
If you’re too fat to walk or stand for too long, show this to your feeder. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, cinnamon buns: ready?
Makes 4-6, a decent stack... multiply as needed
2 tbsp butter, melted but cooled; 2 tbsp more to grease the pan
Combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Mix everything else (the egg, butter, and milk) in smaller bowl. Then dump that into the big bowl, and mix them together.
Put a pan on the stove on medium, and let the other 2 tbsp melt to grease it up. Then pour on batter (about 1/2 cup, maybe 5” pancakes, not too big you can’t flip them).
Wait to flip each pancake until it’s bubbling, or until you can feel with the spatula that it’s solid underneath (1-2 mins). Another 2 mins and it’s done! Pile them up on a nice big platter and soak them in maple syrup, butter, and anything else you like!
While you’re doing pancakes, start filling a hot pan (on medium) with strips of bacon. Just let them sit until they’re as crispy as you like, turning them over once or twice. Add them to your platter next to the pancakes as they’re done.
Most people would put them on a paper towel to soak up the grease but not you, that’s precious calories.
When the bacon’s all cooked, beat the eggs and cream together, the dump that into the bacon pan. Your scrambled eggs will soak up the leftover bacon grease!
Buy a package of Pillsbury cinnamon buns, read the package 😄 I’m just as lazy as you piggy, I’m not gonna restate the directions here. But basically... preheat the oven, put the buns in a baking dish, pop them in the oven, and dump the icing on them when they come out!
Serve all this with your favorite weight gain shake and a gallon of orange juice (the sugar’s good for you, plus also vitamin C, I guess).
Hope this helps you start you’re day right! Once it’s all gone, it’ll almost be lunch time!
