#consent is key

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[needajoint]

“asking for consent ruins the-“ Stfu. “asking if it’s okay mid sex ruins-“ Shut. the fuck. up.

[atleastimstillsedated]

Just a little PSA....

I get a lot of messages so sometimes it might take me a little bit of time to respond. But other times I don't respond for various reasons. This is my kind way of telling you I'm not interested in a conversation. Please stop making me use my unkind way of telling you I'm not interested in a conversation.

When someone doesn't respond to your messages just leave them alone. There's usually a reason for it. Stop forcing yourself on people. Enjoy my blog. I love that you do, but I don't owe you my time, my conversations or my spoons.

[oyalivvs]

[kiddmandu1]

Consent is crucial

[dgct2]

Book To Screen - The Consent Speech - Part 3

Well there's one thing that helps a girl c*m. The single most effective highly recommended enjoyed by all tool at your disposal. Trust. She's just got to feel completely safe. Like completely relaxed. But consent is key. And she can't consent if she doesn't feel safe. You just have to figure out what makes "this specific girl that is not Hannah" feels safe." (Off Campus 1x04)

Dean's speech here is very close to the advice that Birdie gave Garrett in the book. I love that it is Dean because to be honest he's the expert at shagging in the flat. Everywhere but his room. This moment really endears Dean to people. They finally realize that like Garrett he's also a good guy. I've watched quite a few Youtube reactions to this scene and most people, who haven't read the books, are really proud of Dean at this point. It is a turning moment for his character. I love how Dean parrots Garrett's words back to him. He tells Garrett to get out of his head because he's not going to f**k it up. He came to Dean for advice. Hannah trusts him. Now he has to trust her.

This is the final part of the THR article. If you get a chance go read it. The breakdown of 1x04 left me speechless the first time I read it. My favourite part is right at the end where Sam Bailey says that all the guys on the show were on board with this scene. They wanted to make it perfect for Ella and the show. This is something that I've seen time and time again in Belmont's interviews. This attention to detail and wanting Garrett to be a good example for other men. He wants Garrett to be somebody that he would consider a friend.

ROBISON That line [from Dean] about consent is key. During [filming], there was this whole trial going on about a woman who was assaulted by five hockey players in Canada. It was a big deal, and consent was the thing. She did not. So I was really proud to be working on something where you have these two good-looking men say consent is key, to really allow the audience across the board this understanding.  LEVY This is maybe the last person you expect to get the advice from, but if you think about it, probably the first person you should get this advice from. We love that Garrett isn’t really seeking it out because he’s not the kind of person who asks for advice openly, but he’s interested in receiving it, and that’s growth that we get to see from Garrett.  BAILEY I would love for Off Campus, especially this moment, to be what changed the idea of what locker room talk is. We don’t have to keep the bar in hell for straight men. None of the young men [on set] had any issues with that scene. They understood it. When we were doing intimate scenes, they were the ones that were also like, “Can we do rehearsal? Ella, are you good?” I think it’s a false narrative that we just have to accept that boys will be boys and they’re never going to want to be better than that. Never going to want to be caring partners. You don’t have to accept that narrative. There’s this hold on how we should show up, and our tight hold on that doesn’t just harm us. It harms our partners as well. (THR)

[viscountessnila]

currently thinking about:

நீ செய்தது தவறு. பெண்களின் மேல் கை வைத்தால் வெட்ட வேண்டியது விரல்களை அல்ல, தலையை!

What you did was wrong. If a man touches women without their consent, you shouldn't cut off his fingers - you should cut off his head.

[everybodysinvited]

Consent = F.R.I.E.S.🍟

Consent! What is it and what does it look like? There are many aspects to giving consent, it's not just about saying "yes", so why not use the acronym 'FRIES' to remind yourself of all the things to consider when giving or asking for consent.

F - Consent is Freely given: you should never pressure, coerce or force someone into saying yes to something, this is not consent. You must respect when someone says no. You should feel confident and happy when you consent to any activity with your partner(s).

R - Consent is reversible: it is okay to consent to something and then change your mind, if you're not comfortable, say so and ask to stop. If your partner changes their mind on something you should respect their choice, and if they are willing, have a conversation about their decision.

I - Consent is informed: you should know what exactly you are consenting to and your partner(s) should too. It's good to discuss specifics beforehand and what you're both comfortable with.

E - Consent is enthusiastic: when someone is giving consent consider their tone and body language. Do they sound happy, upbeat and are they being proactive? Or do they sound hesitant, reluctant or closed-off?

S - Consent is specific: when someone says yes to one activity, it does not mean they consent to other activities. If someone has consented to something in the past, it does not mean that they have consented to doing that activity again in the future, you need renewed consent.

Image & text descriptions in ALT