#constantine headcanon

[writing-nothing-but-spilled-ink]

constantine would be the type of man to gaslight an entire alien race into thinking human being are going extinct and are an endangered species so that earth can be protected and i feel like every time he gets reminded that he did that he starts laughing so hard hes crying and cannot breathe because its so fucking funny and supes when he did it was absolutely side eyeing the fuck out of constantine like this cannot be real

yes this is a headcanon and lowkey inspired by lilo and stitch

[godsconscience42]

In honor of Pride month here is my Headcanon : Chas never made John come out. He just got it.

I don’t think John Constantine ever had some big emotional “coming out” moment about being bisexual (or pan depending on the contiuity) . Not with anyone and especially not with Chas.

They were probably sixteen or seventeen. Maybe John had run away, already having had enough of his dad's abuse and the probably suffocating guilt of his mother and twins death that he wasn't even an hour old when it happened. I'm sure John already smoked like like it would solve his problems, raked through esoteric books and strummed his guitar like it was a ticket out. And he had this desperate need to be bigger than he was allowed to believe he could be. He'd look at someone too long—usually a guy—and then look away like he’d been caught bleeding.

And Chas? Chas noticed in that quiet way that only he would.

So one night, John’s clocking some guy across the room at a gig and Chas just says: “If you wanna go talk to 'im, I’ll distract the lads.”

John opens his mouth to deny it—Chas cuts in, easy: “I’ll say you got caught up with something or another.” And walks off.

Later, maybe they’re sitting on a rooftop, passing a cigarette between them like usual. John says it straight this time—like it’s not a big deal: “Go ahead and ask your questions then.”

Chas shrugs. “Nothing to ask. You like the lads too. You were always too curious for your own good.” Bumps John’s shoulder, adds: “Just don’t go falling in love with me, yeah? Don’t wanna break your heart.”

John chuffs a laugh, stands. “You’re not even close to being on the list, Chassy.”

Chas raises an eyebrow, mock offended: “Wait—why not?”

John smirks. “Dunno. Not my type.”

Chas: “Not your—what’s that supposed to mean? I’m plenty fit. Is it the hair cut? You said it was sound.”

John exhales smoke, grinning: “Nah, not the hair. Just something’s missing. Can’t place it.”

Chas, full dramatic offence: “Bollocks! That’s what that is! Any bloke would be lucky to have me.”

John: “Guess it’s good I’m not just any bloke, then.”

Chas throws back: “Yeah well if I was like you, then you wouldn’t be on the list either, Johnny. Don’t flatter yourself.”

John shrugs and says "I think we both know that's a lie Chas." Chas shakes his head, laughing: “Bastard you are.”

It was never weird. Chas never made it weird. He was raised strict Catholic—like John—but there’s always that one kid who internalized the real message: love without judgment.

So no big drama. No big announcement. Just quiet knowing. Quiet loyalty. Just a friend who got it even if he didn't really understand it. Who joked about it but kept John safe during a time in Liverpool where even the thought about being Bisexual could have gotten him killed. It's not romantic love. It's deeper. It's that unflinching platonic love that cuts you down to your bones and walks with you while you hold another's hands without any jealousy. Just joy that you're happy. Granted John never gets to be happy. But you get it.

[zaritarazi]

okay listen i was talking to ki about constantine in legends and we ended up on "zari and behrad and astra but in constantine" and let me tell you. this idea is delicious

astra kind of already has a set plot we can come back to her if we'd like bc i, tumblr user zaritarazi, would, surprisingly, love to talk about the idea of zari & behrad tarazi and how they would fit and act in this universe instead of the legends one

now you're going to have to walk with me a bit because i am, for all intents and purposes, kind of hot glueing parts of dc magic canon together- in fairness, this is also what dc comics does and i am objectively more valid- so we have black adam who never actually shows up in this imagined second? third? season of nbc's constantine, he's allowed to be bi in this one, but basically zari and behrad are minor characters that flit in and out to be like hey. just a reminder there's way bigger things out there and some of them, at some point, will be either your fault or your problem. also did you kill doctor fate you stupid fuck

so like in my head zari is a mix of comics canon, archeology adjacent, very heavily zari tarazi, outside presentation of a very bubbly socialite (THIS IS A TRICK) actual personality of like, extraordinarily clever, too sharp-witted, cares about humanity, but also feels very detached from it by this point. and she's aware of that and she's not thrilled about it. she and john have a deeply antagonistic relationship, and she's right, they flirt constantly and only through negging.

essentially both consider the other a con-person and a professional liar and King or Queen Not to Be Trusted, any time john's flirting gets too friendly zari threatens to tell teth-adam and any time she does that john asks her why he's never actually around (this is a complicated plot point i haven't decided on. i'm writing an imaginary third? season of a show that didn't get a second. bear with me)

actually everyone shut up i'm a genius bc felix faust is a big antagonizer of black adam and john constantine, had a super gross plot when he brought adrianna back to life that we will not be using, but he is a common enemy even though john kills him once or twice a season. bringing the tarazis in as signifiers of the far-off black adam circling in the distance bc john can't kill faust well enough is like... kind of brilliant of me, actually,

also zari is very very good at getting rare items, either because she's rich or very charming or both. i don't think she's a celebrity in this one, i think the tarazis are just rich, not sure how or why, roll with it, but she's a very good finder of things, and also she can still talk to dragons. this is mentioned once and never explained

okay this post went on way longer for zari than i expected- i'm sure you knew this would be the case but you know me better than i know myself- behrad but in nbc's constantine, he's allowed to be bi in this one, post to follow at some point soon

[rent-a-bat]

AHH what about a Jason head cannon with a magic!reader - like Constantine's 'not biological kid but for the tax benefits you are'

I'm not that knowledgeable on Constantine but I'll try my best, so please bare with me. A little short but I hope you like it!!

Being Constantine's daughter was exactly as expected, monsters, demons, magic and everything in-between. You may not be his daughter by blood but you were in every other aspect that mattered, which meant you had a caring father, if albeit a little eccentric and sometimes too lost in his work, but not a day passes that you don't feel loved by him.

The day you told him you wanted to leave for Gotham you could have sworn he was going to find everything spell he hadn't taught you to keep you from leaving.

What you hadn't expected was him telling you everything you needed to watch out for, a series of protective spells and more charms than you could carry with you, a suitcase already made and the longest hug as he wished you luck. A gesture you took as it was, he trusted you, trusted your abilities, your decisions and he knew you'll be able to make it on your own, trusting that you'd call him whenever you needed and that he'll be there for you.

And so you left.

Gotham was a great place for magic, and home to lots of creatures, some which needed to be taken care of if you wanted to live as peacefully as you could, which was the job you took upon arriving.

You knew from your father's work with the league that this was Batman's territory and that if there was one thing he didn't like was other people messing with it. So you tried to keep a low profile, making use of every spell you knew to keep your presence hidden and avoiding any encounter with him or his partners.

A feat you could have sworn was a piece of cake if it hadn't been for a little mistake.

You had just stopped a cult from trying to bring forth a demon in Crime Alley using the many souls that roamed the place as payment. Your back against the wall and eyes closed trying to take your breath, the fight draining you after nights without sleep, when the cold press of a gun against you head took away any sort of tiredness.

You lifted up your arms, fingers tingling with contained magic, ready to attack. When you you opened your eyes you couldn't hide your surprise when you came face to face with the handsomest boy you'd ever seen. A boy that reeked of death yet looked anything but.

That was the night you met Jason Todd.

The first of many to come.

Tag list under the cut (message me if you want to be added)

Tag list: @togasknifes @thelindalorian @fizassyeda @apric-t @brightjimini @candlestudy @dickgraysonsscrumptiousbooty @profoundgreenturtle @little-miss-naill @drebi-san

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Being in relationship with John Constantine would include

Author note : I was supposed to post it like one month ago, I'm so sorry anon for being so late. I hope you guys would enjoy it. This can be see as a pt 2 of this headcanon and don’t forget matt Ryan is cinnamon roll . It’s a bit short I hope you don’t mind

i do not own the gif credit to the owner 

Warning : some mention of What happen on season 4 of Legends of Tomorrow / Some NSFW mention 

No matter if you are into magic and occult’s science or not, you definitely got involve into your boyfriend’s job. During his whole life John tried to protect his beloved from danger and 99% he failed because they weren’t familiar with this or he wasn’t strong enough to protect them. This is a mistake he won’t let happen again 

So yeah he teaches some of the basics so you could be aware of your environnement and prevent as much problems as possible : if you’re good enough he may teach some spells to protect you from elementary demon like ghost 

Both of you decided it would be better to separate his job from your privacy so he kept his apartment in New York (according to him he wins it legally so what will be the point of selling it ?) so it’ve become his office and your appartement became your house. 

Most of people think he tends to object to doing some « domestic things » like cooking etc

He’s not quite contrary : He loves and appreciate domestic things more than he would like to admit. Living in house without loving people around him change him into a sucker for any mark of affection. 

He knows that sometimes little thing means more than big action : So when he has time for he will definitely cook you breakfast or make you a good hot warmth if he feels you might need it. He will even clean the house if he has to (but he won’t clean any water room like bathroom he never has good experience with them) 

When you cook for him or if you lay his cloth out, it literally warmth his poor little heart : he loves when you do everything to take care of him. He’s literally a sucker for domestic’s things especially when you do something for him. 

Not really the biggest romantic ever, don’t expect him to go into a romantic date it’s not his thing. But expect a lot of walk during night or sunset there is something about peace during full night who relax him plus it helps him to be more open about his feelings. During night like this, he would talk about his past more easily especially about Desmond and Astra those peoples definitely have made the man he is now

Times to times you two would have a date on restaurant cause he wants to show off and it’s a good way for him to be « out of his mind » for a couple of hours : When you’re on a date it’s all about you, you have to support him during his different stages so yeah you definitely deserve time when he takes care of you 

Speaking of stages, with everything happen to him, it isn’t a surprise to see how broken the man is, how hard it was to own his truth, how hard it was for him to let you in his life. There is period when he is kinda distant, cold to you because he thinks he doesn’t deserve you : he is constantly afraid he might lose you, he used to lose so many people in his life he couldn’t let that happen to you too. 

When he is on his period, you could think you have to let him on his own but don’t that, face him tell him he is strong enough for you, remember him how many lives he has saved, remember him that sometimes it’s ok to not being 100% right. He is human and no matter what he has done in the past, he is stronger now. 

If you used to be friends with benefits before, things never changed I mean the man become attached to people quite easily so times to times you were acting more like a couple than friends with benefit. So the only difference is now you are officially a couple 

No matter how long you two have been together, he never stopped flirting with you : it’s not like he thinks he has to win constantly your heart but it’s just who he is. He can’t help but flirt with you, he likes the feeling of seeing you getting flustered by his words. He is such a tease and not just in bed. If he could have a coin everytime he got you blushing around him he would be rich by now

There one thing who changed when you two became a couple (if you’re used to be friends with benefits) it’s the way you two have sex. You noticed it after couple nights together, when you two confess your love, you noticed he became more loving with the he touches you, he kiss you deeply, intensely. He started to worship your body a lot too, basically he was more sweet with you especially during foreplay. This is something he never does when you two where sexfriends : it was good sure but not like this. Everytime you two have sex, he tried to make you feel loved, he loved you as if it would be your last time together. 

Same for PDA, he is not quite found of it but after you two became a thing he started to hold your hand not all the time but when you were at home or somewhere you were safe. He loves when he could caress your cheeks and grab it very gently as if you could break from his touch : he would look at you right into your eyes, enjoying this sweet moment. 

He craves for grabbing though, so he won’t miss a chance to grab your ass by putting his hand on your back pocket or just touch it pretending it was accidental but you know better. 

As I said before the man live for teasing 

Most of legends think you two are gross cause you constantly sending wink or suggestive look at each other and it’s worst when John starts teasing you by grabbing you waist or anything. You can’t count on everytime you get caught during a hot make-out session. 

Speaking of dirty, there is no place on the waverider you two don’t have sex. Guideon keeps some video on their stockage you know for science’s purpose. 

He tries hard to pretend he is a big spoon but he’s not, he lives to sleep against your chest, hearing you heartbeat while being cuddles. If you plays with his hair he will sleep in a minute.

Calling you « love » or « dove » in public but in private he calls you sweetheart 

You tried to make him stop cigarettes but you failed, he promised to smoke less cigarettes though 

Jonh Constantine can be jealous but he won’t show it, he trusts you but sometimes he just can’t help but being angry when he sees Nate flirts with you or just a man from another era giving you attention. Everytime he feels his jealous get better of him, he puts his arm around your shoulder looking right into the dude’s eyes giving him his best death glare. (He would throw a spells on them but won’t tell you of course). No one fucks with John unless he wants to 

[arkhamsdarkestknight]

Dating John Constantine... (KID FRIENDLY)

Dating John Constantine...

Requested by: Anonymous

(I had to mention Boston Brand, I love Boston Brand).

-you met because of some freaky demon stuff happening nearby

-he was immediately at a loss for words

-his jaw dropped and so did his cigarette

-he doesn't hide he is a hellblazer

-so you came to terms with that pretty quick

-kind of what started the conversation between the two of you

-he was very awkward at first

-really reserved

-because he was scared of you leaving him

-but after reassurance

-and you saying the first "I love you"

-he became very lovey dovey

-he likes to surprise you with gifts

-he doesn't leave the store without getting something just for you

-buys you gifts when he's away on business as an apology

-"I don't need objects as an 'I'm sorry', I just need you safe and sound and you unconditional love."

-"well, it makes me feel better."

-he prefers stay-at-home dates

-curling up and watching TV

-or maybe going to a cinema/theatre

-he loves concert dates though

-going to a hotel/pub/bar to see a local band.

-"They have bloody stupid names, don't they luv?"

-"You were in a band called Mucus Membrane, John."

-"Creative points, luv, creative points."

-he wanted to keep you his secret for a while

-no insult to you

-but once his friends (what friends?) found out he was

-it would become a huge deal

-Zatanna was instantly protective of you

-threatened John if he ever hurt you

-and so did Boston (Deadman)

-even though Boston constantly flirts with you

-it's who Boston Brand is

-Constantine isn't very big on PDA

-He has nothing against it

-he just won't initiate it

-Also super duper protective

[imagine-nation20]

Here To Stay

HP and DC Comics Crossover

Summary: Hogwarts gets a new DADA teacher, but this one is here to stay.

I got this prompt from a headcanon from the amazing @arkhamsdarkestknight This wonderful person allowed me to expand on the idea. Thank you so much!

     The class was in an uproar, feeling the freedom of having a teacher be late on the first day of classes. Another year, and another Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher that wouldn’t last. Magic paper airplanes soared over the heads of student, while some tried to read and others chatted with their desk partners. As the chatting got louder, the other students raised their voices to be heard, so the volume was steadily getting louder and louder. It hadn’t been even ten minutes after the start of class, when the doors burst open and a tall blonde figure walked in.

     The class fell silent, staring at the strange man who walked to the front of the room in long strides. His dark red tie hung loosely, the top button of his shirt undone. His long tan trench coat billowed behind him, almost looking like a superhero cape. A lit cigarette hung loosely from his lips, the smoke curling into the air.

     He got to the front of the room, placing a small glass on the table. It was filled with what looked to be firewhiskey, but most students were too busy whispering about the scruffy looking teacher to notice.

     “Merlin’s beard, is that our new teacher?” A girl from Gryffindor whispered to the Slytherin next to her. The Slytherin, to busy staring at the teacher to respond, only nodded her head. While most of the girls were fawning over the blonde, the boys were busy making theories on why he was late.

     “Maybe he was busy fighting a dragon!” A Gryffindor boy exclaimed to his friend, looking at the burn bottom of the man’s trench coat. He didn’t know that it had actually been caused by a particularly nasty demon, and it wouldn’t be till the got to chapter 47 of that years book, would he find out. 

     John Constantine looked around at the chatty young students, dreading the years he would have to teach here. He wondered why he had accepted the job from the old headmaster, when he could be off drinking in a bar somewhere nice. With a sigh, he dropped his cigarette onto the ground, pressing his shoe on it and putting it out. He clapped his hands, gaining the attention of the two houses of third years.

     “So, You’re stuck with me for four years, so I am gonna lay down some rules right now.” His gruff accent echoed against the walls, no other noise present in the room.

     “Any students three minutes late or more, will get detention, and students over five minutes late will be locked out of the classroom and forced to take make-up classes during break hours. There will be NO talking unless prompted to. And last, I don’t care how your last teacher did things. I’m teaching this class my way and there will be no arguments. Understand?” The students nodded, fear in their eyes at the hard gaze he was sending them.

     “Good. My name is Constantine, and I will be your Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher for the next four years of your schooling here.” At the end of his sentence, a timid hand raised from the back of the class. A scared third year Slytherin boy was practically shaking as he looked to the the new teacher. Constantine nodded to the boy, simultaneously pulling a new cigarette from his pocket and lighting it with a snap of his fingers. A few of the students jumped, looking on in awe.

     “That’s actually not true, Professor.” Constantine raised an eyebrow, motioning to the boy.

     “And what part of what I just said is false Mr...?”

     “Damian sir. I don’t know if you know sir, but your teaching position in cursed sir. No teacher lasts longer than a year in your spot, whether it be due to injury, altercations with their work ability...or....death, sir.” The boys voice quivered, as Constantine glanced down at the floor with a smirk. A curse, eh? That was a new one. A cursed teaching job.  He looked back up, motioning to the boy.

     “A question for you then, Mr Damian. Do I look like any of the other teachers you’ve seen?” The boy shook his head, looking Constantine up and down, staring longer at the lit cigarette. 

     “Than tell me one more thing. Do you think I will honestly end up like your other teachers?” This time, the whole class nodded, no doubt in their minds at the question. John almost couldn’t believe that a whole school held the assumption that he would be gone in a year. Normally, he would have quit the spot after this year, going back to helping the Justice League like he was before he arrived that day, but now he couldn’t just leave this. The opportunity to break a curse. I mean, that’s what his job was right? Fighting off the evil demons or ending curses.

     “Well then, we’ll just have to see then, won’t we. Now, Turn to chapter one. I believe we have some unforgivable curses to go over.”

Four Years Later

     The same class of students sat before Constantine, four years after his first day there. His favorite student, the Slytherin boy Damian, sat in the desk closest to him, tearing through the questions on his N.E.W.T.S test. All of the students now sat at their desks for possibly the last time in their lives, taking the most important test of their whole school year.

     A glass of Firewhiskey rested in Constantine’s hand, a cigarette in the other. He looked down at all of the students, remembering their shocked faces the second year he hand come to teach at the school. From that point on, every student in the school had held a sort of silent respect for the chain-smoking, constantly drunk, demonologist. Most of the teachers knew he was the favorite, the cool teacher who hunted evil things in his spare time. Most first years looked up to him like a god, while most of the seventh years knew how human he truly was, and how dangerous his class really ended up being.

     There had been a few incidents of children ending up in the infirmary, or having to be sent home for a few months due to trauma, but there was no doubt in everyone's mind that John Constantine was a miracle.

     The small egg timer went off on the desk behind him, signalling the end of the testing period. The students turned their papers over, waiting for John to collect them. He chanted a small spell under his breath, having the papers float up to his own desk, then looked on to all of the students.

     “That’s it for today, class dismissed.” Most of the students got up, packing their stuff and practically sprinting to the door. It was the last class of the day, and they were all geared up to get to dinner. Damian, remained in the class, walking up to the Blonde teacher. He had grown over the four years, now almost as tall as John. Reaching into his robe pocket he pulled out a small gift box, placing it on the desk in front of Constantine.

     “Here. The class got this for you, as a thank you. Have a good year Professor.” Turning away, Damian walked out of the classroom, leaving Constantine to relax. He stared at the small black box, debating on whether or not to open it. He had known a couple of his students to be troublemakers, and didn’t trust it to not explode in his face with a jinx. Hesitantly he grabbed it, pulling the lid off and staring at the object inside.

     A small card rested on the top, all the names of the students in this class signed onto it. Pulling the card out and resting it on his desk, he stared down at the small silver lighter that rested on navy blue packaging. Inscribed on it, was an etching in fancy cursive writing.

     ‘To The Greatest DADA Teacher, Who Proved Us All Wrong’ 

     Constantine chuckled, looking back to the card, which had the same fancy cursive writing on the back.

     ‘We thought you could use a lighter since your always lighting those Cigarettes with your fingers. Have a nice year Professor, and try not to die.’

[zaritarazi]

i miss behrad so bad actually

AND I DO TOO! I MISS BEHRAD SO BAD! You have actually activated my trap card which is "organic reason to talk about behrad in constantine" which is branching off of this post i made about zari

so the thing about me is, i love behrad and i think he and zari should've fought more. i think we were denied crucial aspects of their characters because they made up so quickly and indefinitely. i think two characters who love each other and sacrifice for each other but also have a really hard time getting along is infinitely more interesting and dynamic than them just kind of hanging out.

so as i've discussed, the tarazis, minor characters in nbc's constantine season 3 he's allowed to be bi in this one, are there to represent the dark marvel fam, to help john against felix faust, he's alive again part 6/?, and to, sometimes, be antagonists. i think that's sexy of them! i won't apologize! it doesn't mean they're the bad guys, antagonizing john constantine is always morally correct

behrad is someone in this universe who appears as more honest and genuine than zari, and maybe sometimes he is! but john also immediately misreads this vibe based on his own patent-pending Constantine Bias and is like oh well obviously zari keeps him under her thumb and he doesn't really want to be involved in this he's just like me in a lot of ways, actually, if i were cool. and handsome. and likable. and tall

but then, twist, behrad is just as cunning as john himself or as zari is! he's fully capable of making his own decisions! once again john was like "this person needs saving" and the person is like, that is my purse, i do not know you!

now that being said, i think behrad is the "nicer" one. i've described minor character in constantine zari tarazi to people as someone who loves humanity but is tired of being around people and who understands the explotative nature of humanity and is very resentful of it. behrad loves humanity without the caveat, and he also, i think, does actually really worry for zari because like sure. teth-adam loves her.

but he is also, fundamentally, not behrad's family. and he doesn't appreciate teth-adam assuming he is, or that he's part of a larger picture. his powers are his. his magic is his. and no one, not john, not teth-adam, not zari, can tell him what's right or wrong. he's behrad, first and foremost. then he's zari's brother. then he's behrad again, but this time with a cool all-black outfit

he doesn't have zari's knack for bargaining for rare items but he does give off extreme "my big sister is zari tarazi i can decide who lives and who dies" vibes sometimes. and we stan