Marvel Being a Terrible “Dad”
In the league’s point of view, Billy has to be a terrible dad… and if he’s not their dad… why is a grown ass man hanging around with these kids? So for peace of mind, they assume Jr. and Mary are his kids. I mean, they kinda look like him. Kinda. Like, I can already see a good portion of them not really liking that he’s letting Freddy and Mary fight bloodthirsty monsters and villains. But, even the heroes that don’t mind that have to take a minute to process Marvel congratulating Mary for going off and doing something extremely reckless:
*They all just watched as Mary flew into an alien spaceship to take it down from the inside out. They knew nothing about the ship, just that it was hostile.*
Mary: *Flies back down from the ship, covered in soot. Lands by Marvel.*
Superman: *Flies over to them* “That was extremely reck—”
Billy: *cuts off* “Mary, that was amazing!”
Superman: “Cap, that wasn’t amazing. It was extremely reckless! She could’ve gotten herself killed!” *gestures to Mary wildly.*
Billy: “But she didn’t!” *gives thumbs up* “Come on, let’s get victory ice cream.”
*All of them are talking about their kids, eating together at a little lunch table in the Watchtower’s cafeteria like middle schoolers*
Superman: “I wouldn’t let Jon fight any of my villains alone. Most of them, anyways.”
Billy: “Why? Is he not strong enough?”
Superman: “Well, I’m sure he is, but I don’t want him to get hurt, or traumatized. Being a hero can be harsh at times. He’s just a kid.”
Billy: “So? Just cause he’s a kid doesn’t mean that he can’t fight. Just let him.”
Superman: “What? I can’t just let him. How would you feel if Junior or Mary had to fight Black Adam on their own?”
Billy: *shrugs* “Depends. Are they gonna fight him individually or together?”
Batman: *Eating a bat shaped sandwich, made by Alfred* “Individually.”
Billy: “Oh, yeah. Sure. I could trust them to handle Adam alone. I don’t think they could incapacitate him though. A couple times, when I’ve been busy, they’ve held him off for me until I get there.”
Flash: “You just let two little kids (Freddy and Mary look like pre-teens) go out and fight Black Adam? The same Black Adam that destroyed like a quarter of Metropolis in a day?”
Billy: “When you put it like that, it sounds crazy.” *Eats spaghettios*
Green Lantern: “Dude, it is crazy.”
Billy: “Wha? No it’s not. Wondy, when’d you start training for being a whole Amazonian warrior princess?”
Wonder Woman: “When I started adolescence.” *Eats ice cream*
Billy: “Seeeee? It’s fine.”
Martian Manhunter: “How old exactly are Mary and Junior?” *Also eats ice cream*
Billy: “Mary’s eleven and Junior’s twelve, they’re close enough.”
*All except Marvel exchange slightly concerned glances*
*Marvel and Junior are bickering next to one of the windows of the Watchtower.*
Black Canary: *Minding her own business and walks past them.*
Billy: “How about I slam your head through this window so we can really see if you can breathe in space, huh?”
*Canary pauses, and wow. Junior didn’t even flinch. That’s actually crazy. The bickering just got worse. This really doesn’t look good from a licensed therapist’s point of view.*
