Being frequently exposed to ideas of the “crazy girlfriend” or “overreacting woman” as I grew up has definitely taken a toll on my romantic relationships and even friendships. It makes me second guess myself when I feel upset or hurt by something. So I assume I shouldn’t say anything because it probably isn’t a big deal and I’m just being clingy or something. Instead I just let it continue to bother me and since I don’t stick up for myself it keeps happening until I eventually resent the person. On top of that, since these feelings have been treated as, in a way, “false” I don’t know how to express them. I was never given examples. When it eventually becomes too much I cry out and become hysterical and to myself and possibly those around me that supports the “overreacting girl” idea. It really makes me wonder though; why aren’t these feelings validated? This idea was planted in me from childhood. Why wasn’t I told that if something bothers me it’s okay to say something? That it isn’t wrong to do that? I think that it wouldn’t just benefit our own self awareness but also our empathy. In the book “Every Word you Cannot Say” by Iain S. Thomas there is a page in the poetry that basically says when someone expresses this hurt that has built up over time, triggered by something relatively small, they think they are being brave. But everyone else may think they’re overreacting (I’d have given the exact quotes but I don’t have the book on me right now. Great read though). Upon reading this, the whole feeling and thought hit me. Not like a brick or anything, but sort of like stepping in a puddle in the kitchen at 3AM in dirty socks.
