Frogs and flies and creepy things.
There's a frog in my throat!
And it's made my voice all hoarse and thick,
And it's filling my gut with frogspawn,
Which is making me quite sick.
And if I don't dislodge it,
I'll be living in the garden pond,
With tadpoles dropping from my ear.
At first I thought it was a sty,
Then it started buzzing round my head,
And comes out when I go to bed.
It is laying eggs and pooping,
And my eye I'm all for scooping,
And if it doesn't leave my eye,
I will eat a spider to catch the fly.
There's an earwig in my wig!
And it's doing Irish reels and jigs,
And though I'm always scratching,
Onto my wig it keeps on latching.
It's pinchers scratch and tear,
And if my only hair doth fall,
I will beat my head against the wall.
There's a bee in my bonnet!
And I think I'll have to sit upon it,
But if I do it will sting my arse,
And make of me a laughing farce.
Now the Bee and the earwig are on my head,
Making noise to wake the dead,
And it hurts to say, but it is true,
I have become a walking zoo.
My friends all say that I need help,
But I chase them off with a bark and a yelp,
They tell me things I don't want to hear,
They say I'm like a grizzly bear.
Now I am going to take a little break,
And I'm told it is for my own sake,
Outside my door are men in white,
To care for me until I'm alright.
