Hi
One day left. Soon finish with my exams.
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Hi
One day left. Soon finish with my exams.
Event Update::Captain Swan Co-Storytellers Collaboration
Hello, everyone! I'm very excited to announce that although it will be a week event it is still producing fics and a lovely collaboration. We have 5 groups.
I'm going to share a sneak peek into what to expect when we post around Thanksgiving.
Below the cut:
Fellow Mass Effect nerds?? Pssst, c'mere...
I wanna hear about your mindcanons on turian body language/non-verbal communication. Imma just put mine in a list. Plz copy and fill in your own? Or just add some if you like. <3
~
Smile: Mandibles swing wide freely, showing teeth.
Frown: Mandibles pull tight to the jaw, sometimes with an audible click.
Surprise: Mandibles flutter, browridges pop upward. May chirr a bit if it's a positive event.
Anger: Chin tilts down, mandibles close to jaw and slightly down, eyes squint.
Threatening/sneer: Mandibles down and close to jaw, nasal plates flex higher.
Taunting: Chin up to show a little throat, mandibles slightly open.
Yes/nod: Head tilts up and back just a bit to show a little throat, mandibles may flick open briefly.
No: Head dips, subvocals buzz, mandibles tight.
Whatever: An uneven shrug that shifts and resettles the cowl and shoulders.
Sadness: Browridges and mandibles down, gaze low, shoulders/cowl high. Subvocals may croon sorrowfully.
Teasing: Eyes may squint, mandibles click a couple times against jawline.
Question: May whistle questioningly, a single mandible might come up and out along with a head tilt.
Amused: May chirr, subvocals might roll a bit. Mandibles loose, and may flick slightly and quickly. Eyes may crinkle.
Hurt: Mandibles tight to the jaw and high up. Subvocals flatten. Head turned away and arms cross under the chest/keel.
Excited: Mandibles may flutter frequently, accidentally clicking against jaw in child-like glee. Browridges high.
Curious: Head tilted, one or both mandibles may waver or tilt as well, mandibles might move unevenly, one or both browridges may rise, head forward and neck stretched.
Delight: May trill. Mandibles swing wide, browridges pop high, jaw may dip a bit as the overall chin posture rises.
~
I have more, but a lot of them are variations on a theme or combinations of the above. Now gimme yours! :)
Nihlus: can i tell you a secret?
Garrus, in full CSEC armor: On a scale of one to ten, how much illegal does it involve?
Nihlus: ...fifteen?
Garrus: ...I don't recommend it, no.
Officer Vakarian
The creative struggle is real lately but here - have a youthful Garrus reporting for his first C-SEC assignment.
C-SEC
WHATS THAT WHATS THAT
Sometimes I wonder…
…about Ash’s Club Cod days after he was “sold” to Golzine, to quote his exact words. When he was forced into prostitution at the age of 11 or 12 along with other kids. What kind of life did those kids have there? They would inevitably become friends I guess. Regardless of their circumstances, these friendships would even feel natural rather than forced. They’re just kids after all. There would be rivalries too. But no, not because “they’re just kids after all.” Those kids would be smart enough to notice a pattern. They would eventually come to understand that they are seen as disposable commodities. They would start fighting with each other or strive to “perform” better with the hope that they won’t get disposed of. Imagining a bunch of children pitted against each other like that is simply beyond horrifying.
I guess Ash, being the leader that he is, would break up these fights and calm everybody down. He would comfort newcomers and teach them tactics to survive in that hell hole. Only to see them disappear one by one.
My train of thought always comes to a halt when I’m reminded of the fact that these things are happening in real life too. That the gruesome world of Banana Fish is the world we are living in. Ash may be too far-fetched as a character, but commercial sexual exploitation of children is not just part of the fiction at all. It becomes too painful to think about it any further after that point. And it is so frustrating, so infuriating, to confront this reality and to be unable to do anything about it. At that point I feel utterly helpless and it takes a while to shake that feeling. Like you hit a brick wall and it really hurts so you just wait for the pain to go away and then simply turn around and go the other way. There is no satisfying conclusion to that train of thought. It is bound to get interrupted somewhere along the way.
I think I’m not alone in feeling like this. I think every single member of this fandom has, to a certain extent, been affected by this constant theme in Banana Fish. As @puella-peanut puts it, “for fans of Banana Fish, Ash being the victim of brutal, horrific sexual abuse from the time he was just a little boy is like a shadow that lingers over the fandom.” As @angofwords puts it, “This is that dark thing in the corner, the shadow that we know is there, but that we somehow can’t being ourselves to look at directly.”
Fans have different opinions on how well Banana Fish handles the issue of child sexual abuse, but we all seem to agree that it is an integral part of the story. I think one other thing we can all agree on is that Banana Fish does a marvellous job at portraying its main character Ash as a human being. And that’s what makes it such a beautiful story. The reader/audience sees Ash not only as a victim of sexual abuse but as a 17-year-old boy who likes his hotdog with extra mustard. We see him the way Eiji does. We love him for who he is and we root for him in his struggle to break free from his oppressors and reclaim his soul.
It is this perspective we have about Ash that makes us feel so helpless when our thoughts travel through dark alleys and form disturbing headcanons. It is because we feel so strongly about his character that we come to empathise with his pain… unless, of course, we have lived through similar things in real life. I’m trying hard to word my thoughts carefully and I apologise if what I say comes across as insensitive. I have no experience with sexual abuse that amounts to severe trauma and I don’t personally know anyone who does either. And of course, no one in their right mind would need a work of fiction to know how horrible and destructive child sexual abuse is. It’s not my intention to blur the lines between fiction and real life. Instead, what I’m trying to say is that Banana Fish on its own is a very powerful medium to raise awareness on this issue. And that’s a very good thing.
So today I did something which helped me to deal with this feeling of helplessness to some extent. I did some reading and found out about the definition of “commercial sexual exploitation of children” (paragraph 5). I learned that sexual exploitation of children is listed among the “worst forms of child labour.” I discovered key documents establishing the international legal framework for the prevention and criminalisation of CSEC (x, x, x, x). I learned about local partners working for this cause (x, x). Finally, I came across one toolkit and one report on male victims of CSEC in the US.
I am not affiliated with any of these organisations. I just did a quick research from scratch. What good did this do? It gave me a general idea about what the issue is, what are its causes and implications and what is being done around the world to fight against it. It may be very little but it’s something. For what it’s worth, it urged me to be more careful with the language I use when talking about child abuse and exploitation in my metas.
So that’s that. I thought I’d share this experience with you in case you felt the same way.