#cyclebreakers

[computer-graveyard]

There's not enough poly cycle breakers just saying

[batdiangelo]

Seeing Double

Based loosely on this art made by @doberart! If you see this, I hope you enjoy!

Henry sighed happily, watching as his two boys played excitedly in the summer sun. they giggled and laughed as they tossed a football back and forth.

The ex-animator was pulled from his thoughts when his wife Linda walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder. “there’s a letter for you,” she said, handing it to him. “it’s from a place called Archgate studios.” Henry frowned for a moment, inspecting the letter.

He knew they had just recently acquired the rights to all the cartoons and characters from his old friend, Joey’s studio, but he didn’t know that Joey had said anything about him. carefully opening it, Henry read the letter.

Dear Mr. Stein,

you may not know me, but I feel as if I know you pretty well. My name is Audrey, and well.. I’m Joey’s daughter. There’s a lot I’d love to explain to you, but it won’t all fit in one letter. if you can, come by Archgate studios.

there’s a lot I’d like to show you.

your new pal,

Audrey Drew

Henry frowned, re-reading the letter. Glancing over to his wife, he sighed. She had stared at him, waiting patiently for an explanation. “It’s Joey’s daughter. She wants me to meet her at Archgate studios.” He explained, watching as she frowned.

“I thought moving to Pasadena, we’d get away from all that.” She said softly, looking out at their kids still shrieking with excitement in the yard. “are you going?” She asked, a hint of sadness in her tone. Henry looked at the letter, reading it again; after a moment, he looked back up at his wife, nodding.

“be safe, Henry. and come home to me.” she said, placing a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll tell the boys where you’ve gone. I love you.” Henry smiled, placing a kiss to her forehead.

“I’ll be okay, I love you too.”

-~-

When Henry arrived at Archgate studios, he was honestly expecting a more lively place. instead, it held the same sense of dread and dreariness Joey Drew Studios held before he left, all those years ago. he sighed, and walked into the studio.

“Hello?” he said into the empty reception hall. “Audrey?” he frowned, slowly turning in a circle as he inspected the many poster that decorated the walls. “Audrey?” he called again, looking around some more

“Oh, Mr. Stein!” A voice came from his right, he realized, as he turned to face it. a woman stood in front of him, short, curly black hair done up nicely. he smiled and stuck out a hand.

“you can call me Henry, no need for formalities.” he said, shaking her hand. “So, your letter mentioned Joey?” he decided to cut to the chase, not wanting to spend too much time away from his family. “you also said you had something to show me?”

“oh right.” Audrey sighed, and led Henry down further into the studio. “before I show you what’s in this room, you have to promise me,” She said, standing in front of an office door. “that you won’t tell another soul.” Henry stepped back for a moment, his expression changing to one more serious.

“I won’t tell anyone,” he said, watching as she relaxed for a moment. “What is it?” he asked, as Audrey moved to open the door.

what was on the other side shocked the old animator to his core.

“Bendy..?” he breathed, kneeling down. the small toon hid behind Audrey’s leg, looking up at her. “hey, kiddo, I won’t hurt you.” he said, finding himself offering a hand to this creature.

“He’s scared…you look like someone we know, but you aren’t him.” Audrey said, as Henry stood. “That’s the other thing.” Audrey and Henry entered the room, and Henry froze.

He was staring at himself.

except this version of him was Sepia-toned, ink stained his clothes and his face. did henry really look that old?

That Tired?

The animator lifted a hand, waving cautiously. The sepia-tone version of him waved back- in the exact same manor.

“What the-”

-~-

“Ok, so..” Henry said, sitting with Audrey, and the other Henry; a cup of coffee in hand. “Joey created a hellish world to torment this version of me, and you inherited it?” He asked, watching as they glanced at each other before nodding. “And he wanted a kid so he used the ink machine to create you?” Audrey nodded, holding up her hand.

“I’m made of ink,” she said, bending her finger back like it was nothing. “but living flesh and blood.” She explained. “Somehow, his creations are escaping into this world.” Henry- the real world one, nodded, sipping on his coffee.

“I don’t understand why this place is hellish. its a cartoon.” Henry said, “shouldn’t it be funny?” Ink Henry sighed, shaking his head sadly. “why can’t you explain it?”

“Because you’re better off not knowing the horrors I faced. the horrors Allison and Sammy and-” Ink Henry cut himself off, staring at the real world version of himself. “Do you really want to know what I went through?”

Henry nodded. the ink world version of him grabbed his arm, his eyes glowing a brilliant gold. “Then see.”

Suddenly, he was within a sepia toned world, echos of memories played on repeat within his head.

“Have you seen him? the Ink Demon?” A disfigured Alice angel laughed as Henry ran from a beast that sported Bendy’s smile. his head ached as he fell forward, suddenly a man sporting a mask that resembled Bendy’s face stood in front of him, preaching the Ink demon. “come my lord, and take this sheep!” He cried.

Henry wanted to scream, but he couldn’t. he sat up suddenly, a perfect Boris in front of him. for a moment he felt calm- but that was ripped from him as he watched that perfect dog get ripped from him- a disfigured and ruined beast that held Boris’s face attacking him. Henry felt guilty, watching as his old pal died. thousands of names whispered throughout the studio as he marched on, an Alice wielding a sword walking with a Boris that sported a mechanical arm by his sides. The scenery changed and he was facing a large terrifying beast, his smile and teeth threatening as Henry dived- placing a reel of film into a protector. Suddenly the protector stood, its inky arms grabbing Henry. the animator screamed, flailing to get the new monster off of him. he fell from the arms of the creature, into Joey’s apartment.

He ran for the door, only to open it and reenter the studio- to repeat the cycle again. Henry could hear screaming, and he quickly realized it was himself. he threw things across the main studio floor, anger and fear bubbling up inside him.

“Am I real?!” he shouted to no one in particular. “Am I really Henry Stein?! Where’s my wife?! Joey WHERE IS SHE?!”

The yelling stopped as he entered a room, staring into a mirror. golden tears fell from his eyes, as realization filled his senses. He’s not really Henry. he has no Linda to return home to. he’s stuck here, suffering, dying over and over and over and over-

“HENRY!” Audrey shouted, grabbing the animator. he was on the floor, yelling in pain. he gasped, forcing himself up. he stared at his twin, eyes full of tears.

“You..” he gasped, his head aching with pain. “all of that?”

“all of that. on repeat.” Henry nodded, noticing how his counterparts eyes faded back to normal. “We can’t let people like Alice or the ink demon out. Audrey was able to stop the-” he sighed, looking serious. “leak- for lack of a better word; for now but we think you can help.”

Henry nodded, finally understanding what his other self was explaining. “I have one request. I have to tell Linda.” Audrey shook her head, eyes widen with fear.

“No! you promised!”

“Audrey, I can’t help you and be with her at the same time,” He said calmly. “Not with the two boys that is.” He heard ink henry gasp, his expression softening.

“two boys?” Henry smiled and pulled out his wallet, showing off a picture of the two teenagers.

“Benjamin and Michael. absolute rascals but I love em so much.” he said, a sense of pride rising in his chest. “now, can I tell Linda?”

“alright alright. but we have to get started soon; I don’t know how long my patch will hold.”

[southbostonbitch]

Reposted from @heybobbibanks 💬 Are you the cycle breaker in your family? . . . #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #toxic #toxicfamily #boundries #breakthecycle #cyclebreakers #theeapy #therapistsofinstagram #processtrauma #trauma #selflove #loveyourself #shadowwork https://www.instagram.com/p/CXxlGB7uRPv/?utm_medium=tumblr

[littlebent-notbroken]

“They” being your parents, ex, friends, or whomever. They being the person in your life that made you believe your needs are conditional. Growing up, I recognized that my safety was dependent on my mom’s mood. Looking back on it the only word I can think of for my mother’s actions is “selfish.” Everything in the house was hers and she could take it away at any moment, depending on how she felt that day. I remember constantly hearing “you’re an ungrateful little bitch and I’m not going to buy groceries anymore. I’m just going to buy food for me and me alone. I was so much happier when I lived with my two cats. Don’t ever have kids, Marisa, they’re not worth the stress.” My earliest memory of this was when I was seven. My mom would use these threats of taking away food or taking the door off my bedroom or throwing out all my clothes into the driveway to “keep me in line,” to keep me submissive and under her control. To do what? I honestly don’t even remember. Looking back there’s just so much fear I just remember doing whatever she said to keep the peace. To this day I still look to my partner for permission to do seemingly normal things: turning on a light, listening to music, eating food. On one hand, it is important to be contentious and courteous—maybe the light will put a glare on the TV, maybe he doesn’t want to listen to music right now, maybe he was saving that food for later. On the other, I recognize I’m still relearning how to take up space in my own home. And every time I ask, he always replies “you don’t have to ask me; this is your home too.” And each time he says that I know he’s apologizing to my inner child that I even have to think for a second I need his permission to do something. #innerchildwork #reparenting #emotionalabuse #mentalabuse #conditional #innerchildhealing #codependentnomore #cptsdrecovery #depressionrecocery #anxietyrelief #basicneeds #themotherwound #motherwound #emotionallyimmatureparents #cyclebreakers #generationaltrauma #youmatter (at San Francisco Bay Area) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLAeQz4DbAB/?igshid=1nf0osyddld5q

[whyowhyme2]

#Repost @nedratawwab

・・・

{All of the above are boundary violations.}⁣

⁣

Having to do things out of necessity doesn’t make it okay.⁣Kids do not have the life experience and emotional ability to handle the adult situations thrown at them.

Kids respond well to a secure and safe environment with adults who help them establish healthy emotional support and appropriate boundaries. ⁣

⁣

When adult and child relationships are reversed, children miss out on experiencing age-appropriate experiences. ⁣

⁣

{Adultlike behaviors rob kids of having a childhood.}⁣

Just because something is normal doesn’t mean that it’s healthy. If you were treated as an adult when you were a child, you could talk to a therapist to work through childhood experiences. Also, you can read some books to help you navigate your experiences.

A few suggestions are listed on the website under resources (bookshop).

⁣

[ramyeonupdates]

{ #cyclebreakers } || source: nedratawwab

[dmnsqrl]

Posted @withregram • @nedratawwab As the holidays approach, remember and honor your boundaries. It's okay to set boundaries with your family. People will not figure out what your boundaries are without you telling them. Tell them precisely what you want and need.⁣ ⁣ At first, you might feel mean, worry that you won’t say the right thing or experience guilt. But, the more that you believe that you are entitled to have healthy boundaries, the easier it will become to set boundaries.⁣ ⁣ What boundaries have you set with your family? ⁣ ⁣ ⁣⁣ #nedranuggets #cyclebreakers⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ https://www.instagram.com/p/CHlXAsrDdsAJDRb0BpET690UZqIEBzXgHpqUNY0/?igshid=1iij8eymx14a1

[msnaturaltee202]

🙏🏽 Monday Night Message!~ 🌸

#Repost @nedratawwab

・・・

Survivor's Guilt is the inability to forgive yourself for making it when others did not. It is blaming yourself. It is feeling guilty for having resources and opportunities.

The guilt is not for you or the other person. Sometimes you can help, and sometimes you cannot. Your job is to know where your power lies.

Release yourself from guilt.