Something about being disabled is seeing people so infrequently because of how you're feeling. I can't always go to classes or rehearsal or hang outs with friends because sometimes i just. can't. And i'm cancelling last minute all the time because i never know how im gonna feel the next day. but like, im a very social person in a sense. i feel like im going crazy when i don't see people for a few days but also im very specific about the people i wanna see. and i guess part of it is also depression because a lot of people i don't want to come over because i don't want them to see the absolute wreck of my living space. and i don't want them to clean it because then im gonna feel like shit the whole time because i'll feel like im "making" them do it. and also not being able to do things keeps people from inviting you and. ugiosahgoash.
