⋆˚꩜｡ it's rabbit (bunny boy) season - the hanks x reader
word count: 2.5k
contains: playboy bunny au and the associated shenanigans/antics, suggestive content, alcohol consumption (reader and sam get very drunk), use of pet names like sweetheart and angel
summary: a bar/dance club has opened up in town, featuring sexy men in bunny suits as servers! you get dragged to the club's opening night by sam and meet a group of cocktail servers who share the same name.
a/n: this took 2ish hours. i was inspired by an art piece @gwenii33 made for me, which was of h4nk as a playboy bunny. inspiration took over me. shakespeare, hemingway, etc. possessed my body to make this fic. it's currenly 5am and i haven't slept in 17 hours. here is what i consider thus far to be my magnum opus :"]
Sam practically dragged you to this new establishment across town.
A real life host club! you remembered her giggling. She showed you the website for the club, an upscale building oddly placed among the mundanity of your little town. It displayed itself as a bar and dance club, pretty simple. Yet, the selling feature that had a mile long line outside for opening night?
The handsome men and their sultry attire.
A new take on the famous Playboy Club, sexy men of all shapes and sizes in skimpy bunny suits serving cocktails and entertaining patrons.
You didn’t believe it would be that appealing to folks in your area, but you were proved wrong, as nearly a hundred people were lined up behind your
As you and Sam approached closer to the entrance, you caught sight of the club’s sign: the words The Breaker Box shining in neon blue. Your best friend clung to your arm in an attempt to quell her buzzing excitement, but all it did was make you shake alongside her.
“This is gonna be so so so great!” she shouted as best she could in a hushed manner, “We’re gonna have so much fun! Trust me.”
“Alright then,” you sighed.
You weren’t much for clubbing or drinking, but you did care about Sam and that was good enough reason to tag along with her.
After what seemed like hours in line, the bouncer- a statuesque Brit with an impeccable bread- opened the velvet rope and escorted patrons in one by one. You and Sam managed to get inside before the bouncer roped off the entrance, much to the protests and cries of the remaining people in line.
“Damn, we lucked out, huh?” you commented to Sam.
“Sure did,” she agreed, “Let’s go get a good table.”
Sam’s high heels clicked and clacked against the hardwood floor, as she led you through the dimly lit maze. EDM music soon reached your ears and you found yourself standing before the main area of the club. You took note of your surroundings; a bar- manned solely by a disgruntled man with almost wire-like black hair- on your left and a dance floor- accompanied by a DJ in all white with spiky blue hair- on your right.
“Let’s get a drink!” Sam yelled over the music. She guided you towards the bar and wedged the two of you between other attendees. Ever the extrovert, Sam waved the bartender over with a call and a wave. He walked up to the both of you and grunted, “What can I get for you?”
“A Malibu Sunshine for me!” answered Sam while you replied, “And a Martini for me, please.”
“Oh, and let me open a tab,” Sam handed her credit card over to the bartender. He rung up the order and printed out a receipt, attaching it to the credit card and setting it among the row of open tabs.
“Grab a table and one of our boys will deliver you your drinks,” the bartender informed you flatly.
“Thanks,” stated Sam. She eyed an open table in a more secluded area of the club and you claimed it, taking your seats and setting your bags down.
“By the way, you look soooo good tonight!” Sam exclaimed, a warm smile gracing her face.
“That’s a relief,” you exhaled, “I wasn’t sure if I wore the right thing for this…” you dressed in a simple black jumpsuit with your hands and fingers accessorized with colorful gems, “But look at you, though. You’re drop dead gorgeous!”
“You’re so sweet!” she giggled. Sam wore a sparkly red dress with matching heels and lipstick, dazzling under the club lighting.
“Do you wanna- Order for Sam?” your ask was cut off by the arrival of your drinks. You turned your attention to the cocktail server and your jaw dropped, “Oh my god.”
Before you, stood a dark-skinned man with tied back locs and well groomed facial hair. He donned a golden bunny suit and matching ears, allowing his muscular limbs and broad shoulders to be on full display for you to gawk at. Utterly stunning! you couldn’t help but think to yourself, Like the Roman Gods- Fuck, I’m a dork.
“Everything alright, guest?” the cocktail server flashed you a pearly white smile.
“Nope! All’s well, uh…” Sam narrowed her eyes at his name tag, “Hank 1?”
“Hank 1?” you repeated back, bewildered, “How many of you are there?”
“Five of us in total,” Hank 1 responded. He then set the drinks on your table, “If you order more drinks, I’d be happy to request that the others take turns at delivering them.”
“Are they like you?” you blurted aloud.
“Like me?” Hank 1 let out another chuckle, thick eyebrows raised at you, “What do you mean by that, sweetheart?”
“Oh, I- Sweetheart? Never mind, forget what I said,” you squeaked out a response. You could hear Sam stifling back her laughter and you stomped your foot in retaliation.
Instead of belittling you for being a dork, Hank 1 got dangerously close to you, allowing you to inhale his cedar wood cologne. Lowering his voice to an even more husky range, he whispered in your ear, “If you mean toned and handsome, then yes, sweetheart.”
You could only nod, eyes wide and lips parted like a fool. Hank 1 then pulled away and addressed Sam, “Enjoy your drinks! Let us know if you need anything, du- guest.”
Hank 1 scurried off to attend to other attendees, leaving you flustered and Sam in disbelief.
“Oh, you are so into him,” she commented before picking up her cocktail and taking a sip.
“Am not,” you grumbled, sipping on your martini.
“Am, too,” hummed Sam.
“Am not.”
“Am, too!”
“Am not!”
“Am not!”
“Am, too- fuck!” you cursed at being played while Sam cooed, “You’re too adorable… now, finish your drink so I can order us four more rounds.”
“Four more rounds?” you questioned.
“Yeah!” she confirmed, “So we can meet the rest of the Hanks. One’s bout to be into you.”
“Why are you playing matchmaker?” you grumbled, stirring your skewered olive in your drink before taking a sip.
“Because you need to get laid.”
You spat out your drink, vodka and vermouth dripping down your chin.
“What! It’s true,” Sam defended herself.
“God, you’re insufferable,” you sighed.
“You love me, though.”
“…Yeah, I do.”
You and Sam paused the conversation to finish your drinks, the sting of alcohol and the tangy taste of the olive a pleasant combination on your tongue. Once done, he left the table to order more drinks, leaving you to your own devices.
You scanned the club for any sign of Hank 1 and found him chatting with another table, his presence very so radiant. He soon concluded the conversation and turned towards your direction. Quickly, you attempted to break eye contact, but failed miserably; Hank 1 caught you staring and winked.
“I ordered us vodka shots!” Sam announced when she returned to your table, “An easy way to get drunk and meet the other Hanks.”
You opened your mouth to scold her, but snapped it shut when a tanned man with warm almond eyes and a stylish quiff came up with a tray of shot glasses. He wore a crimson bunny suit, showcasing his leaner but visible muscles, “Hi there. Order for Sam?”
“That’s us!” she answered and then asked, “And you are?”
“Oh!” the man in the red bunny suit set down the tray before pointing to his name tag, “I’m Hank 2, my- uh, dear guest. It’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” the mischief in your best friend’s tone was evident to you and to you alone, “And this is my friend.”
You introduced yourself to Hank 2 and he smiled softly. Unlike Hank 1, this Hank seemed more nervous but still possessed a gentle exterior. For one reason or another, you associated him with moonflowers.
“That’s a beautiful name, darling.”
You covered your surprise up with a cough while Sam wiggled her eyebrows at you, “Same to you!”
“Let me know if you two need anything,” he gave the two of you a small nod and walked off.
“Dude,” Sam snorted, “You need more alcohol in your system.”
“Agreed,” you snatched a shot glass and downed it in one gulp.
In a flash, you and Sam gulped down all vodka in the glasses. Between the martini and the two or so shots, you found yourself getting slightly tipsy, but not fully drunk. Still, you let your mind wander while Sam got more shots ordered, fantasizing about how good Hanks 1 and 2 looked in their uniforms.
“Why, hello there, gorgeous.”
You snapped out of your daydream to see Sam back in her seat and a redhead with freckled skin standing beside you. Weirdly enough- in your tipsy brain- he looked reminiscent of a bonfire. Dressed in a navy blue bunny suit, he possessed far bulky muscles than the previous Hanks, which- nonetheless- made you foam at the mouth for.
“Like what you see?” he grinned.
“Absolutely,” you replied, your tongue loose from the alcohol.
“I like a honest person,” the redhead purred to you, as he placed the shot glasses down, “Name’s Hank. And what might yours be, gorgeous?”
You told him your name and followed up with, “Which number are you?”
“Three,” he replied.
“Oooo, I love the number three!” Sam chimed in.
“It’s a good number that gets a bad rep,” murmured Hank 3.
Once the shots- likely whiskey, given the color- were assembled, Hank 3 tucked the serving tray behind his back with one hand and bent down to your level. With his free hand, he took one of your own and pressed a light kiss against your knuckles.
“Let me know if you need anything, gorgeous,” he hinted. Hank 3 released your hand and you stared at it, rapidly blinking with a dry mouth. He then gave you and Sam each a wink before exiting.
“Damn, he was flirty,” snickered Sam.
You could only hum in agreement, still dazed from the interaction. Sam nudged a shot glass in your direction, “Drink up.”
You lost count how many shots you took, you estimated somewhere between three to seven. A hazy cloud hung over your mind, as you resumed your muscle man daydream.
“Hey there!”
A new bunny arrived with two cans of RedBowls, shots of Jägermeister, and pint glasses. Jägerbombs? God, I’m so gonna get alcohol poisoning when this is all over, you imagined.
Wearing a violet bunny suit, the man before you was by far the tallest of the Hanks you had encountered so far, his strong legs at your eye level. Like Hank 2, he was on the leaner side, but this man had more visible muscles. With bouncy blond curls and a mismatched tan, he reminded you of a sunny day at the beach.
“You two having a fun night?” despite the noise of the club, the man in the violet bunny suit spoke clear and loud, “I saw that you ordered a lotta drinks!”
“Totallyyyyyy!” Sam slurred her words, “Who- Which Hank are you?”
“Number four!” he declared with a big smile, showing off his missing tooth. Imperfect smiles are the cutest, you mused to yourself.
“How about you?” Hank 4 asked for Sam and yours name, which you happily provided.
“You’re like…” you slowly blinked with a silly grin, “Soooo tall.”
“Six foot three, in the flesh, pretty thing,” his tone shifted to something more sensual. At least, that was what you thought. You couldn’t exactly think straight from all the alcohol.
“Awesome…” you mumbled.
Hank 4 prepared your Jägerbombs by pouring the RedBowl and Jägermeister drinks into their respective glasses. He then dropped the Jägermeister shots into the pints, some of the liquor spilling onto the table, “There you go!”
“Thanks!” Sam grabbed her pint and drank it gingerly.
“And let me know if you need anything!” Hank 4 repeated the standard line. Before leaving, he squatted down to your level and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “Especially you, pretty thing.”
You didn’t have time to respond, as he skipped off to deliver more drinks. By now, you and Sam were definitely drunk. Yet, through sheer willpower, you were able to request to Sam, “I need… I need water.”
“Yeahhhhh…” she slurred, “Me too…”
Sam ordered each of you a tall glass of water and closed the tab. The two of you laid on the hard table like the drunken goofs you were, totally out of it.
“Excuse me, are you Sam?”
You perked your head up and made eye contact with another handsome man, sporting a spring green bunny suit. With chocolate brown waves and a few scattered moles, he was simply gorgeous. You racked your drunk brain for a comparison and all you could think of was What a work of art.
“Yes, yes!” Sam mustered up enough control to respond somewhat soberly, “That is me! And this is my friend, who’s super duper hot and who you should totally ask out on a date,” or not soberly at all.
“I’m so sorry…” you checked the name tag, “Hank 5… we’re like… hella drunk.”
“That’s alright, angel,” he reassured you while placing your glasses on the table, “I’m glad you made the decision to cut yourselves off before Eddie had to.”
“Eddie?” you asked.
“The bartender,” explained Hank 5, “He’s also one of the two owners here.”
“Woahhhhh…” you responded in awe, as if he just told you that he cured cancer or something, “Who’s… the other one?”
“Volt,” stated Hank 5.
“Coooooool…” you extended your reply, “Cooool name… I hope they treat you all nice and right and what not.”
“They absolutely do. Now, drink some water, angel,” Hank 5 held up one of the glasses and pressed it to your lips. Obediently, you parted them and drank up some water with his help.
“You didn’t have to- You didn’t have to hold it for me,” you huffed like a toddler after you consumed all the water.
“I didn’t want you to drop it by accident,” Hank 5 hummed. He then dipped down and added in a softer voice, “Besides… I wanted to.”
“You Hanks are killing me,” you groaned.
On cue, Hanks 1-4 waltzed up to your table, leaning one another all buddy buddy. They waved down at you and Sam shouted, “Damn, dude! You got a harem!”
The Hanks laughed at Sam’s commentary while you concealed your face behind your hands in unabashed embarrassment. However, someone pulled your hands apart and handed you a folded up piece of paper.
“For you, sweetheart,” Hank 1 tapped the paper in your hands.
“We look forward to hearing from you, darling,” added Hank 2.
“Don’t ghost us, gorgeous,” Hank 3 winked at you.
“That would be mad sucky if you did, pretty thing!” Hank 4 commented.
“Hope to see when you’re sober, angel,” Hank 5 concluded.
The five Hanks bid the two of you farewell and returned to work, leaving you and Sam stunned. Quickly, you unfolded the paper and saw five phone numbers written down, accompanied by a short message.
Let’s get to know each other <3
— The Hanks
“Holy- Holy shit,” you stuttered, clutching the paper tightly, “I got a fucking harem.”
