[1:01] The warm night grows chilly as the moon comes near to set, and for a moment, you look at the outline of your life so far and realizes how many times you've hand to suffer the consequences of actions you had nothing to do with — not intentionally. The TV fades into a static as you ponder deep in thoughts, Jaemin's fingers threading through your hair gently, doing tiny braids and breaking them apart as he goes, letting you lay comfortably in your lap. On the background, along the statics, you hear Renjun and Jisung's muffled laughter from their shared room, and the sound of shower hitting the tile floor as Jeno indulges himself in a warm bath. Amidst the silence, you feel like you'd burst if you don't speak up — a thought crosses you.
"Hey, Jaemin, you ever wondered why I moved here?"
Jaemin looks taken aback, pauses his hand's movement before resuming it and smiles kindly like he always does, "Do you mind?"
You smile. Do you?
"I had this friend. Cool guy, knew him since we weren't able to speak yet. Pretty smiles and kind words, a good boy, does as he's told because he's a great son, shit like that — always shares his food too. I always joked about how I'd sell him for one breadcrumb but I'd fight anyone for him," Jaemin chuckles at your choice of words, happy noises escaping him as you go over your story; reacts well at every time something remarkable happens. You smile, "and as every story that starts with 'I had this friend' ends, we found ourselves kissing one night — you know, as you do."
Jaemin laughs louder at that — mentions something about how that's not something everyone does, but you smack his stomach instead; who doesn't have at least a little crush on their best friends? Plus, you're pretty sure you've seen him up on Renjun one too many times.
"Well, apparently, hewas politely asked by his mom to date this cool person just a week later. Felt like a loser," you laugh weakly, but Jaemin remains silent. Is it too sad for his taste? Should you stop? "It was fine and all. Except for the fact that his group of friends are slippery-tongued and ended up telling me shit they shouldn't have."
"If he didn’t know I did then, I definitely knew that time. I started noticing things, like how he looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking. When his smile doesn't look as happy as it should be when he's with the one who's supposedly the one who makes him feel things. I realized that his feelings never changed and he loved me just as much as I loved him, if not more," tears start prickling your eyes, and that's when Jaemin pulls you up. He doesn't expect movie night to end like this, but he appreciates your transparency and vulnerability and oh, does he hold you tight because God, everyone who knows you doesn't really do of they don't think you deserve it. You sob in his arms, "And that’s why I had to leave."
Jeno leans on the door frame, glasses perched messily on his nose bridge as he eyes the sight infront of him. He pretends he doesn't notice, walks to the nearest room and locks the door. He ignores the weird looks Jisung and Renjun gives him, looks past the sloppy sketches of what they think aliens would've looked like that he would normally laugh at on a normal day. He falls to the bed, face first, hopes it would swallow him whole or at least, his guilt. He really feels guilty about that.
