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Once you become guild master there's a dark elf new recruit who will say "so youre the one everyone's falling over" when you walk by him and holy shit i can not take that in any other way that brynjolf is not the only one who has a crush on tld, especially now that she's their boss. Now it's pretty much canon that everyone in the guild's in love with you. When you're not there they argue who would be a better partner for you.
"She's mine."
"She's your boss, she's my future wife."
"The Guild Master wouldn't marry you."
"Break it up, kids." Vekel groaned, placing a round of ales in front of the thieves against his better judgment. They were all completely sloshed - Brynjolf's face almost as red as his hair and Vex wobbling in her seat but he knew better than to get in their way.
Every time the new Guild Master left on a job or some extended trip they had the same argument. Vekel had heard it so many times he and Tonilia could recite it word for word. Despite their constant bickering none of them had yet approach the Guild Master with their feelings and it drove the poor bartender mad.
Dirty Thoughts
Heavy spice under the cut! Includes art!!!
Marigold: *walks out of the thieves guild cistern and freezes in pure fear seeing a familiar figure at the bar*
Brynjolf: you okay there lad?
Kaidan: Flower?…
Marigold: *reaching for his dagger* You.
The face sculptor: *turns her head to see him and audibly gasps* It’s you, my magnum opus.
Kaidan: you? Know each other-
The face sculptor: Oh yes. His surgery was a difficult one indeed. It took me days to break him apart and put him back together. Rearranging his spine, replacing his jaw and legs, not to mention reshaping those hideously deformed ears and fixing that ugly mouth of his, sadly I could never get it completely straight. But compared to what he looked like before he’s a vision, my finest w- *chokes as blood fills her mouth and her entrails spill out onto the floor as the high elf mercilessly guts her*
Marigold: *staring into her eyes as he twists the knife* You. Tortured me for days. You destroyed me. You cut me open when I was a boy and ignored my screams for mercy!!! *pulls it out and stabs her again* ILL KILL YOU LIKE I DID THAT MONSTER WHO PAID YOU- wh- LET ME GO!!!!
Kaidan, Brynjolf, & Dirge: *all grabbing hold of him pulling him off the now very dead woman*
Brynjolf: THATS ENOUGH LAD!
Dirge: FUCK HES STRONG!
Kaidan: *grabbing the knife from his hand* SNAP OUT OF IT MARIE!!
Delvin: *dragging the body back away from the elf knowing the sight of her is only going to keep him upset* Easy now lad. It’s alright, she can’t hurt you no more… let’s just calm down…
*a few hours and a big clean up effort later*
Kaidan: *walks back in from the cistern* I got him to sleep. He wouldn’t drink any water though, he’s gonna have a headache from all that crying… *sighs and sits down*
Brynjolf: I’ve never seen him like that before. It’s like he was possessed.
Delvin: well, from her words. The level of trauma she put him through can you really blame him for completely snapping?… I wonder what he looked like before… I can’t imagine him as anything other than the pretty elf he is.
Kaidan: he was beautiful then and he is now… just… wasn’t beautiful to the terrible people who changed him…
Brynjolf: I always wondered what those scars were from… under his jaw… now I wonder how many more he’s hiding under his armour…
Kaidan: plenty… both outside. And judging from that outburst of his… inside as well…
Are they talking about the Dragonborn, Cicero, or Delvin?
Delvin the barking knight He doesn't care for romance, honor or even fighting. Acting more as a jester, he prefers to lounge and crack jokes to brighten everyone's day. He is the bravest knight due to his refusal to let cruelty rule his life and his willingness to risk his life for the innocent despite being weak and small.
Mercer Frey: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.
Vex: Thank you for your sacrifice, Delvin.
The Thief and The Moon | Skyrim fanfic | chpt 7
a self indulgent Brynjolfxdragonborn fanfic
———————————Chapter 7————————————
“Hey, have you seen Allustria?” Brynjolf poked his head from behind a makeshift wall in the flagon. Just past the bar was a double bed, and this ‘wall’ was there to give it a little more privacy. Vekel looked up from his tankard he was wiping down.
“Yeah, she went out to do that job Mercer gave her. She’s been gone a couple hours, maybe.”
Brynjolf sighed. Not sure if he was bummed out or relieved. His little situation the night before made him too nervous to sleep across from her, so he passed out on this bed instead. He wanted to see her, to make sure things weren’t weird. Hoping she wasn’t able to figure out his… problem.
“Ah! Here she is.” Vekel nudged his shoulder in her direction. Brynjolf whipped around to look. His jaw dropped.
Her hair was wet, clinging to new armor. Her cleavage curved behind the straps, naked hips were visible from the exposed sides of the leather armor. Water droplets danced down the curves of her skin, making her glisten. Damn the Gods, she was more beautiful than he remembered.
“What do you think this is worth?” She handed the little bee statue to Delvin, who was sitting in his usual spot. He looked up from his work, and whistled.
“That’s quite the outfit ya got there.” He leaned back and drank her in from head to toe. “How about I take you to the back room, and you can show me how to take it off.” He winked.
“Ah-ah-ah~” Allustria dangled the golden bee in front of him. “First tell me what this is worth” slowly batting her white lashes at him. His eyes focused on the trinket.