Godspousery: A Different type of Relationship
This begins my series of posts on Godspousery
Art: by art of yayu
After receiving permission from my deities; I have been guided to share some of my experience with spousery as it may be of help or interest to some, since there is a lot of confusion and misconceptions around what this path actually is and means.
To preface this: I am more traditional and old school meaning that godspousery to my eyes is only marriage to the divine. I have been married to both my spouses ( who are demonic divine dark lords) for 6 years (at point of this writing) and have worked closely with various divine beings and spirits for close to 16 years now.
I have noticed in more recent times that some people misconstrue the term godspouse to mean just about any and all types of relationships with the divine. In my experience this is not the case. It is not a term that covers all types of relationships ( ie familial, platonic, devotional etc). Nor should it be used as a catch all phrase as there is a distinct difference between these types of relationships. Genuine godspousery is not the same as a platonic or other relationship with the divine. Nor is it a stand in for any form of romantic or sexual relationship with the divine. The term spouse is used for a reason ( ie married to the divine). I am also of the viewpoint that devotional polytheism and devotee ought to be used more often to refer to these other types of relationships instead of lumping it all together under one term.
Godspousery is a sacred path and practice. It is not something to be taken lightly nor for the human egoic wants and needs, since its really not about you or your ego. I have the experience of having a patron, having normal devotional and/or working relationships with gods, spirits and Demonic divine as well as being espoused. All of these types of relationships are different; though most often share an element of devotion and being a devotee and some are more heavily focused on this then others- such as patronage. While godspousery and patronage both have heavy elements of devotion to them, one of the key differences I have found is that my spouses are connected to me on a much deeper level, soul level- then just normal devotion. They know me ( the entirety of my being) in ways few others do. How we connect on this deep level is rather like puzzle pieces fitting together- but in a way in which each of use is whole in and of ourselves (still learning to be on my part; though it is encouraged)- however there is a sense of joining and completeness to this relationship. Of balance between us all so that we may build and prosper together. It feels like home. Of course there is love as well- but this more complex than what humans often consider love to be. Especially with such darker beings as I am bound with. The Demonic divines’ ( and deities’ ) understanding of what love is reaches far beyond what humans know it as. And often it may not look like anything humans are familiar with. There is also a lot of trust and learning to trust my spouses in this and on my personal path. There is a depth of presence and feeling of being held in a sense but rather across all aspects of myself and in all realms, that comes with this perhaps particularly to my dynamic at least.
On this- a side note; there is no room in godspousery especially at this depth of relationship, for co-dependence or toxic/problematic attachment styles or relationship patterns etc. If one genuinely connects with a god/god-level being on this level and one still has these problematic traits; they are soon worked through so that a healthier type of relationship between the parties is formed and possible. One thing about this is that a genuine deity/ god-level being- will not tolerate, enable or conform to ones insecurities or problematic/toxic attachment styles and relationship patterns. They can help one to move and heal into a healthier place, but they will not interact with you in a way that enables these styles to continue- especially in a such a depth of relationship. While the deities and beings in question may be “understanding” of this is a way- they do not enable it.
One of the main differences I have found between Patronage and Spousery- is that while my Patron knows me well as well and knows my soul so to speak- it is a less intimate dynamic in a sense. He knows me well and guides me as a close mentor, cares about me specifically and guides my path, but there is more of an overarching kind of strategy to it. Not to say that my Spouses don’t also have this, but it is a bit more calculating and for me patronage, is more focused on guiding me rather than the intimate relationship that Spousery affords. My Husbands feel closer to my heart and more deeply “internally” connected- They nourish my soul and They are a place of rest. While my Patron can also nourish me it is not to the depth of how my Husbands do so. ((sometimes for some godspouses; a patron may be the Spouse, but this is the difference I have noted between Them in my situation.)
Godspousery is also different from parental relationship with deities. Parental relationships (which I experienced while being a devotee of Setekh and Kali ma) feel very- well parental. While I was deeply devoted to them, regular worship, bhakti etc, It was more casual in a way. I could connect about anything and they would offer advice or aid. Tbh it was impactful and healing but it was not this soul level depth that my Spouses have. While I called Setekh and Kali Ma my patrons and for a while they were- it is still a different relationship from my actual patronage with Lord Abaddon. In all cases I felt cared about by these divine beings and have been intimate with them. But with the more “parental deities” it wasn’t so personal, so deep reaching and was more similar to a “regular” devotee relationship with a deity. My spouses are also obviously a lot more intimate with me and also know me with a depth that the others “don’t”. All of these relationships have been and are very valuable and meaningful to my journey and path. But being espoused- my Partners also have more impact on me then anyone else.
All these types of relationships mentioned are again different from regular devotee and/or working with the other deities and demonic divine beings, and all are impactful in their own ways. Regular devotion and “working with” is often more “business-like.” Some beings I work with may be stricter on how They are to be approached and worked with, and some may over time become more like casual acquaintances and friendly. But there is still a distance to it- even if some of these practices involve sexual relations/exchange, it is more “professional.” These beings also know I am owned by and married to my Husbands, so there can be also a reservedness to the interactions. ( I use the term owned because I am- in a BDSM sense I am in a heavy M/s relationship with my Husbands, this is personal but also aids in my specific workings, priestessing and dynamic- obviously this is not the case for all godspouses etc).











