#depersonalized

[madcat-world]

Обезличенные (2 of 5) - Fedor Titov

[rawjeev]

Not all cultures in the world share the dominant Western view of a secularized, utilitarian, depersonalized nature. The existence of alternative views of the natural environment is important as part of the cultural heritage of humankind. This cultural diversity is akin to biodiversity as the raw material for evolutionarily adaptive responses

Fikret Berkes (Sacred Ecology)

[3lectricladyland]

depersonalization is real

[arienettewolfe]

(this is almost what my dreams look like -feel free to delete captions when re blogging- <3)

[an-absolute-trainwreck]

Wow this is unbearable

[neverhadhalcyon]

You know

Even if I am nobody

Even if after all my searching & self-making it turns out I only exist when people are around & when they’re aren’t I just become this body of earth-made things

I think even if all that is true

I’ve done pretty

Damn

Well

For nobody at all

&

[neverhadhalcyon]

Doulos

The doulos was a monster in the 7th episode of The Troop, which is a show no one remembers. It’s a beast that imprints on a human & follows their every command perfectly, but can’t think any thoughts of its own. You could cut its head off if its master wasn’t there & it wouldn’t even flinch away.

In fourth grade my friends & I would swap story ideas all recess & I got called a doulos by the leader of our tiny clique. He said I had to invent a totally new story that no one had ever heard any element of & hounded me every day for a week, shooting down each half-formed thought I had. Eventually I told him the ripped-off plot of a book I’d read but he hadn’t, & he nodded & said I passed.

It’s a stupid inconsequential thing but I can’t get it out of my head that he was right. Maybe not about that week but everything else about me is motivated by another.

Self care is being presentable for others, working & getting up out of bed is fulfilling the pressure of my professors & my parents & the people in class. I’m studying for a degree meant to understand people & maybe make things better but I’m confronted daily with how little I might actually be able to do with it.

I buy pre-made macaroni for myself because shopping lists are mazes to me. If a friend wants to have mealtime shared with me I will make intricate dishes even if I check the recipe five times per step because one mistake will ruin me.

I can’t write for myself at all but if I know your character give me a day & I’ll create 17 pages off the top of my head. It’ll be the best representation of their point of view you’ve ever seen.

I can’t write music because I look at the score or lyric sheet & my mind turns into fog. I’m a classical singer of 10 years & can immediately harmonize with whatever I’m listening to.

I can’t cry on my own anymore. I get weird malaises that only break into cathartic tears when I put on a sad or sweet song & let it feel for me.

I feel like I’m scrapbook mosaic of different pieces of the people around me, & that’s wonderful & beautiful but also scary. I want to know that I exist when I’m by myself &