hii I was wondering what exactly counts as amnesia.. what is the difference between the amnesia seen in DID and the “little to no” amnesia in OSDD-1b.. also… what exactly counts as “not fully defined alters” in OSDD-1a .. and can OSDD-1a have fictives? im rlly unsure which I have at this point bc I don’t know if what is happening counts as amnesia ….I can remember things I guess but sometimes it takes me a bit to recall them and I don’t have emotions attached to some memories?… like as an example I remember some trauma but feel NOTHING towards it .. or I’ll remember some daily memories and it feels like they didn’t even happen. The days before the current present feels like a dark void that never existed ..
Hey there!
So, we are going to put a big disclaimed that although we have read up on DID and OSDD, and looked at and listened to the experiences of other, fellow dissociative Systems, our words are definitely not gospel! I'm going to say that this will be a post for open and civil discussion, especially for extra information!
Now, onto the bigger answers; amnesia by your typical dictionary definition is having the partial or total lack of memory. However, for Systems, it can be a little trickier than that! From what we understand, DID Systems are those who do experience at least some or quite a bit of memory-based amnesia between alters. If Alter C is fronting for a whole day, and then Alter F fronts the next day, chances are that Alter C will be the only to remember what exactly happened the previous day prior. Emotions, tasks, appointments, conversations, etc. However, I think it would be a little untrue to say all, or even most, DID Systems experience full black-outs between alters. I've seen the term "gray-out" be used, to mostly describe how, yes, there are amnesiac barriers between alters, but it isn't that severe.
For us, as an OSDD-1b System, our "little to no amnesia" comes in the form of this: In the morning, Dimuza is fronting. They have breakfast, watch their cryptid shows and paranormal documentaries, and go about the morning. In the mid-afternoon, a switch occurs where Annabelle is now fronting. She may be able to recall "Oh yeah, Dimuza had fruit loops for breakfast, and binged a whole season of Destination Truth", but she wouldn't feel an emotional connection to it because the emotions of those memories are now carried by Dimuza!
We do experience a little memory-based amnesia, as well. Once we lost connection to someone we thought of as a friend, and quite a few of us didn't even really know until it was communicated in some way. We like to call this the "You Just Had To Be There" affect!
Because of our little to no amnesia, we also have a much easier time to communicate with one another, wherein a System with much stronger amnesia (and as such, amnesiac barriers), communication between alters is more often held in the outer world rather than the inner world.
From what we've read and understand of OSDD-1a, this is a System far more related to the Different, Distinct Emotions of the Host. I once saw someone describe it and the alters as "the different flavors of You". Basically, you may have Rupert, who holds most, if not all of the sadness of the body. Then, you have Marty, who holds most, if not all the anger. Because the alters of OSDD-1a Systems tend to be far more emotionally-based than other dissociative Systems, this is most likely why they would be labeled as "not fully defined alters"!
My knowledge on OSDD-1a is very limited, but we do definitely believe that it is possible for OSDD-1a Systems to have fictives, to an extent!
To wrap it up, in regards to your description of how your memories work and feel;
I/we heavily relate to what you have just describes. It perfectly encapsulates what we go through, especially with our own recent situations and traumatic incidents. Looking back on something and knowing, logically, that what happened is and would be considered trauma, yet feeling little to nothing towards it, is exactly how we experience our emotional amnesia. Sometimes, that emotional detachment is so strong, that it doesn't even feel like it happened.
When this happens in therapy, we describe it as "I feel like I'm talking about someone else's memories/life story, like this isn't even mine and that I shouldn't be talking about it". Our brains create these amnesiac barriers to protect the Host; to make sure they don't continue to fully struggle and deal with the brunt of trauma that was dealt with. It makes us have these detachments to protect us, and it makes our alters so that someone holds onto it.
This was very long, but I feel like it was the best way for us to answer this. Hopefully this isn't too lengthy of a response, but also that it is one that can be helpful to you. We're giving you the best wishes, anon, in figuring things out <3 /gen /p
