Feb 18, 2019
Enjoy
“The Breunion Boys are the European boyband on a mission to win back the United Kingdom.”
Special thanks to “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” for making me discover this masterpiece!
seen from Sweden
seen from Portugal
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from Russia
seen from Kazakhstan
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Portugal
seen from Portugal
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Israel
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
Enjoy
“The Breunion Boys are the European boyband on a mission to win back the United Kingdom.”
Special thanks to “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” for making me discover this masterpiece!
So here's one of the trophy pieces I had worked on forever ago. I don't remember what this alteration is called but it's an Ice Phoenix from Warhammer. He looks very bland and boring in the photos but I did a light dust of metalic purple into his feathers to make him glitter like snow. And obviously I'm not proud of the gaping hole in his wing but I can't afford Green Stuff. I'm trying to get back into wanting to build and paint by showing off some of my proudest pieces. I want to get the Fyre one and have them sit together...or I may hust get another ice one I'm not sure...
Art Nouveau enamel desk piece
France
Ca 1890
Field Cannon Desk Piece
A fine desk piece modelled as a field cannon and accompanying ammunition box. The cannon barrel is sprung within, perhaps to fire a pencil (!); the ammunition box contains a stamp box beneath one lid and an inkwell beneath the other. A fine and accurate model made of gilded bronze and in excellent condition although the blue velvet, which is original, is very worn.
English
circa 1880
Not Quite the AV Club
I was able to pitch an idea to the AV Club before their new talk show launched about what I would be like as a writer. I might have gone a little too John Oliver with this, but I still like it. I hope you do as well. INT. STUDIO
JOHN
HELLO, I’M JOHN TETI, AND THIS IS THE A.V. CLUB SHOW. IF THERE HAS BEEN ONE TREND SWEEPING THE NATION LATELY, IT’S HEROIN.
[OTS: HYPODERMIC NEEDLE with a BAGGIE]
JOHN (CONT’D)
BUT, LIKE THE REST OF AMERICA, WE’RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT. WE’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE RISE OF BOX SUBSCRIPTION SERVICES.
[OTS: A FRONT DOOR AND WELCOME MAT WITH A PACKAGE ON IT]
JOHN (CONT’D)
THE EASE OF INTERNET SHOPPING, COMBINED WITH EVERY PERSON ON SOCIAL MEDIA SCREAMING THAT THEY’RE AN INTROVERT
[OTS: A 32 THINGS ONLY INTROVERTS UNDERSTAND POST WITH 5,000
SHARES]
JOHN (CONT’D)
HAS LED TO MILLIONS OF AMERICANS CHOOSING TO BUY PRODUCTS BLINDLY AND HAVE THEM SHIPPED TO THEIR DOOR AS OPPOSED TO BEING FORCED TO INTERACT WITH THE GENERAL PUBLIC WHEN PICKING OUT THE SPECIFIC TOMATO THEY WANT.
[OTS: A BIRCH BOX PACKAGE]
JOHN (CONT’D)
IT STARTED INNOCENTLY ENOUGH WITH WAYS TO SAMPLE BEAUTY PROJECTS, BUT THEN IT EXPANDED...
[STACKING OTS: LOOTCRATE]
[STACKING OTS: BLUE APRON]
[STACKING OTS: BARKBOX]
JOHN (CONT’D)
WE NOW GET BLIND BOXES WITH TOYS, MEALS, STUFF FOR OUR DOGS...
[STACKING OTS: SAY IT WITH A SOCK]
[STACKING OTS: STITCH FIX]
[STACKING OTS: FAB FIT FUN]
JOHN (CONT’D)
SOCKS, THINGS TO FIX OUR SOCKS, AND EVEN BOXES TO BE ACTIVE, JUST NOT ACTIVE ENOUGH TO PUT SHOES ON OUR SOCKS AND DO OUR OWN SHOPPING. AND I GET IT. I REALLY DO. IT’S A WAY TO GET A PRESENT EVERY MONTH. PRESENTS USED TO BE RESERVED FOR
OUR BIRTHDAYS.
[OTS: PICTURE OF A SPOILED 8 YEAR OLD SURROUNDED BY PRESENTS]
PRESENTS ARE THE REAL REASON YOU DRIVE THREE HOURS THROUGH THE SNOW AND QUIETLY DRINK YOUR EGG NOG WHILE UNCLE TIM RANTS ABOUT WHAT’S WRONG WITH AMERICA EVERY CHRISTMAS.
[OTS: HOLIDAY SETTING WITH A DRUNK UNCLE YELLING]
JOHN (CONT’D)
SPOILER ALERT: IT ALWAYS RHYMES WITH ‘LIMIGRANTS’ WE DON’T EVEN CARE WHAT’S IN OUR PRESENTS, WE JUST WANT THEM. PEOPLE SAY “I WANT STUFF, BUT I DON’T WANT TO PICK IT OUT; HERE’S $19.99.” AND THEY GET A “LIMITED EDITION” PLASTIC FIGURE OF SAW GERRER’S THIRD LIEUTENANT FROM ROGUE ONE AND A T-SHIRT THAT YOUR OFFICE SECRET SANTA WOULD HAVE BOUGHT YOU, KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT YOU OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT YOU LIKE “THE STAR WARS”.
[OTS: A HAPPY OLDER LADY HOLDING UP A T-SHIRT THAT SAYS
“LOOKIN’ FOR LOVE IN ALDERAAN PLACES”]
JOHN (CONT’D)
HEY, AT LEAST SHIELA TRIED TO THINK OF YOU, YOU GAVE HER A GIFT CARD TO CHEESECAKE FACTORY LAST YEAR AND SHE’S LACTOSE INTOLERANT.
[OTS: SAME OLDER LADY, NOW SAD HOLDING UP A GIFT CARD”]
BUT WE COME BACK TO GIVE OURSELVES THESE HALF-THOUGHT OUT PRESENTS WE DON’T NEED MONTH AFTER MONTH. AND IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO ONE BOX, ODDS ARE HIGH THAT YOU SUBSCRIBE TO AT LEAST ONE OTHER SERVICE. YOUR MEDICINE CABINET IS FULL OF UNUSED ONE OUNCE SIZED CHARCOAL INFUSED HAND CREAMS,
[OTS: A MEDICINE CABINET FULL OF SAMPLE SIZE BEAUTY
PRODUCTS”]
JOHN (CONT’D)
AND YOUR DESK HAS MORE BOBBLE HEADS THAN TRUMP’S CABINET BEING ASKED IF THEY AGREE WITH SOMETHING PUTIN DID.
[OTS: VIDEO OF A DESK LINED UP WITH TCHOTCHKES WITH
BOBBLEHEADS NODDING “YES”]
JOHN (CONT’D)
PEOPLE EVEN FILM THEMSELVES OPENING THEIR BOXES EVERY MONTH AND PUT THE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE, SO EVERYONE ELSE CAN SEE WHAT THEY GOT.
[VT: YOUTUBE VIDEO COLLAGE OF PEOPLE OPENING THEIR VARIOUS
BOXES]
JOHN (CONT’D)
WHICH, IF YOU’RE PAYING ATTENTION, IS THE SAME THING EVERYONE ELSE GETS THAT SUBSCRIBES TO THAT BOX. BECAUSE IF THERE IS ONE THING WE ALL LOVE AS AMERICANS IT’S STUFF. ESPECIALLY STUFF ABOUT THE STUFF THAT WE LOVE.
[OTS: BREAKING BAD APRON THAT SAYS “I COOK”]
IF THERE IS A SECOND THING IT’S BEING TOLD THAT WE’RE SPECIAL, EVEN IF WE’RE THE ONES THAT HAVE TO TELL IT TO OURSELVES—EVERY MONTH—WITH A PAIR OF SOCKS THAT HAVE SLICES OF PIZZA ON THEM.
[OTS: SOCKS WITH SLICES OF PIZZA ON THEM]
JOHN (CONT’D)
NOW WATCH THESE COMMERCIALS, AND BUY THIS STUFF.
Stephen Colbert and Marion Cotillard Test How Speaking French Makes Things Just Sound Better
Seth Meyers Does an Iffy Bit on “Late Night” and Jack Black Sings Commentary
If only we knew how many jokes we had to go in so many more sketches.