Bruce Wayne’s dad lore but it’s Dick Grayson actually.
Nobody actually does look into Dick’s past too hard because they’ve heard way too many stories and after a point just stopped asking around because each one was more impressive and unbelievable than the last. However, because of this seemingly impenetrable aura of just being Robin or Nightwing, nobody really realises the stories from his normal mundane “human” activities as Dick Grayson are equally as incredulous, if not more.
*Jason and Dick at a stakeout alone in the car*
Jason: Ha! I’ve been to prison before!
Dick: Same.
Jason: .. Dickie you got arrested? Did you finally lose your shit??
𖦹ׂ ₊˚⊹⋆ NSFW SIZE DIFFERENCE HEADCANONS ft. dick grayson
CONSISTS OF ↬ dick grayson may be the sweetest man you've ever met, but behind closed doors he is downright dirty, and it's fueled by how big he is. especially compared to you. [dw this is for all readers, im a thicker girl who's taller sooo]
── .✦ clark kent. bruce wayne. jason todd.
| navi. | masterlist. | dc masterlist. |
big bf!Dick Grayson who loves picking you up mid-kiss. He loves the way your legs wrapped around his waist, and how he can just carry you to the bed (or kitchen counter, or shower wall) like it’s nothing. He loves that surprised little gasp you make every time, and it always earns you a smug, “What? Worried you're too heavy? Not even close.”
big bf!Dick Grayson who's bigger and stronger, so he sometimes holds you in place when you try to squirm away. Pinning your hips down with his hands or weight, forcing you to take everything he gives. He gets a kick out of making you admit out loud when it’s too much, just so he can murmur, “That’s my girl, look at you taking it.”
big bf!Dick Grayson who likes putting his hand over yours, your thigh over his, or even your wrist in his grip just to remind you how much smaller you are. During sex, he’ll line himself up against your stomach or thigh with a dirty smirk, saying something cocky like, “See what you’re up against?”
big bf!Dick Grayson who will cup the back of your head and guide your pace, not harsh but steady, making you feel how big he is compared to your mouth. Every groan that slips from him is laced with both pride and disbelief that you’re taking him so well.
big bf!Dick Grayson who loves missionary with your wrists pinned above your head, his body fully covering yours, but he’ll alternate between pounding into you and kissing you sweetly until you’re trembling beneath him. He likes the contradiction, showing how much power he has while also making you feel completely cherished.
big bf!Dick Grayson who sometimes will make you ride him just because he knows the size difference makes it overwhelming. His hands grip your waist, steadying you, bouncing you on his lap when your thighs get shaky, his voice low and teasing “C’mon, baby, you look so good trying to take it all.”
big bf!Dick Grayson who gets off on how stretched and full you look with him inside you. If you whimper about how big he feels, it only makes him groan harder, pressing deeper as he whispers, “That’s it, baby, let me in. You’re made for me.”
big bf!Dick Grayson who smug about how your smaller frame can straddle just one of his thighs and grind until you’re shaking. He’ll flex his muscles beneath you on purpose, hands gripping your waist tight as he coos, “Aw, baby, look how easy you came on just my leg.”
big bf!Dick Grayson who likes the visual of both your wrists caught in one of his hands. Sometimes he’ll even make you hold onto the headboard, warning you not to let go, while his other hand holds your hips still against him.
big bf!Dick Grayson who can’t resist reminding you how small you feel under him.“You take me so well for such a tiny thing,” or “Look at you, stretched around me like this.” His tone always shifts between playful and dangerously serious.
big bf!Dick Grayson who’s well aware of his size and strength, he’s extra attentive afterward. From massaging your sore thighs, to running you a hot bath, or carrying you to the shower when you can’t move. He’ll joke about “breaking you” but the way he tucks you against him afterward proves he’s dead serious about taking care of you.
another hc post because i was bored and can’t write anything these days 🍒 main masterlist || reader is mentioned to have hair in hal’s part
₊⊹ BRUCE WAYNE: He may not look like it but is a soft kisser. He kisses so tenderly that you forget you are making out with a human being, it starts feeling so comfortable, like he is made of cotton. But then his hands grab your waist and follow down to your hips, then you realize who you are making out with— which eventually makes you more excited and you wanna kiss him more. And once he gets comfortable with you and your relationship, he will kiss you any possible time.
₊⊹ DIANA OF THEMISCYRA: She likes hugging you while kissing. Her hands wrap around your waist and pull you to herself. She likes you kissing her first and then you taking all the control over the kiss because she loves it when you think you are the one in control— but you both know it’s actually her.
₊⊹ DICK GRAYSON: Dick does not have one specific kissing— he acts through emotions. He feels happy: softest kisses ever. He feels angry: Kisses so harsh they could even tear your skin apart. You two made up after a fight: Dives into your mouth as if you are the water that couldn’t touch his lips for months. He can be soft, tense, harsh, but all of the kisses are given with love.
₊⊹ HAL JORDAN: Sloppiest kisses, creates a mess. He will give you the best kiss but you will have to race his mouth to catch his moves. He is touchy while he kisses. His hands wanders around your body— but his favorite spot to be is in your hair. One is trapped and tangled in the locks of your hair while the other is holding your back. Your body must be pressed to his because how can he kiss you if not?? And if you two have a friends with benefits type of relationship, he will deny all the things he committed while kissing.
₊⊹ KARA ZOR-EL: Creates a mess, proud of what she creates. She would love kissing her significant other, but making out with them is another thing for her. She does it tenderly, with care and great excitement. She loves listening to your heartbeat as you make out. She doesn’t care about whether you are alone or not, she will peck your lips anytime.
₊⊹ ROY HARPER: Best kisses known to humanity. He will eat your lips out!! He hums when he kisses and his tongue is all over yours all the time. His intimacy is something you will get through time but once you’ve obtained it, you will see this side of him very often. He loves having you sit on his lap as you make out. He can initiate the kiss anywhere and it’d be with the same desire. He is just too good at this.
₊⊹ TALIA AL GHUL: She is a soft kisser. I honestly don’t think she has that much experience in kissing, but she kisses like she has because she is good at hiding her inexperience. She will care about you in ways nobody has ever had. With every gift, you will have make out sessions. She likes kissing your cheeks and leaving a lipstick mark there. Though, she will not let you swipe the mark off until the end of the day. She loves seeing the evidence of you belonging with her, and she with you.
₊⊹ ZATANNA ZATARA: Lucky kisses before and after every show. She loves kissing in bed, her hair in tangles and your bodies close together… She loves kissing in bath, bubbles around your bodies and warm water… She starts slow, gets fast and ends slowly. Zatanna gives magical kisses and she doesn’t even need to use her magic for it.
a/n: headcanons again!!!! i litr have finals in 3 days but dick grayson is unfortunately all i think about so. kieran i'll get to your request i promise ♡
i refuse to believe that dick would be a trust fund baby so law student!dick grayson who has wanted to do this since he heard elle woods talk. one day, bruce sat him down and reminded him he was allowed to have career options besides being robin, and it just clicked.
law student!dick grayson who you met at college; the golden boy who was friends with everyone, but who sits in front of you in the campus library in the evenings, poring over his law textbooks, eyebrows scrunched, clicking his pen frantically.
law student!dick grayson who knew he didn't have time to date, he simply couldn't. but when you looked at him and smiled politely, logic flew out the window. when you, frustrated with studying, dropped your head on the table and groaned under your breath, he couldn't help but ask you if you wanted to go for a quick coffee run with him. and when you looked up startled before smiling gratefully and nodding, he knew he was a goner.
law student!dick grayson who is so good, it's as if he's making up for all the bad in the world himself. even after reminding him that you don't mind that he cancelled date night, you'll still find flowers delivered at your door every morning for at least a week.
law student!dick grayson whose ambition knows no bounds; in his first semester, he'd made a list of all the policies he's going to change and new ones he'll introduce, and it keeps getting longer. realizing how many people he could help gets him high like nothing else.
law student!dick grayson who's just as interested in your degree as he is in his, no matter what it is. for him, something that you're dedicating years of your life to has to be worth knowing. when exam season comes, he asks you to teach him what you're learning, and he asks questions as if he's in a lecture.
law student!dick grayson who works himself to the bone, and forgets that he belongs to himself, and not just his work. who needs to come home to you at the end of each day to ground himself, to do a better job tomorrow.
Tim Drake
Tim’s clinginess is low-key, but it’s also constant. He’s the type to text you “What’s up? I miss you <3” while you’re just sitting 5 feet away from him. If you so much as stand up to go get a snack, he’s immediately there, like, “Where are you going? Don’t leave me.” He’ll lean against you, his hand finding yours without him even realizing it. When you're watching TV or reading, he’s definitely leaning into your side, trying to get as close as possible without being too obvious. But if you move to shift positions? Nope, he’s following you. He’ll slip his arm around your waist, all like, “Don’t think I didn’t notice that.” He’s not a big PDA guy, but when it’s just the two of you? Prepare for cuddles, hand-holding, and small, random kisses. He’s gotta be touching you constantly.
Jason Todd
Jason is obsessive, no doubt. He’s that partner who’ll try to act like he’s tough and independent, but the moment you show him any kind of affection, he’s all over you. Like, you can’t just hug him. No. He’ll climb into your lap and basically trap you there, rubbing his face into your neck like a cat. He’s gonna constantly ask for kisses, too, but not just little pecks—he wants full-on, deep kisses where he can pull you close and remind you that you’re his. If you’re doing something, like, working or even hanging out with friends, he’ll try to drag you away, be like, “Hey, come hang out with me, stop ignoring me for two seconds.” He’s possessive, but in the cutest way, constantly needing your attention. If you even talk to another person for too long, he’ll give them side-eye and pull you back to him like, “You good? You’re not gonna leave me for some random guy, are you?” He’s also the type to cling to you in bed, hogging the covers and curling up like a human koala.
Dick Grayson
Dick’s clingy energy is pure gold. He’s the most affectionate of the bunch and doesn’t shy away from public displays of love. He loves hugging you from behind, nuzzling into your neck, and just randomly planting kisses all over your face. He’ll text you “miss you <3” every few hours when you’re apart, and when you’re together? It’s all about touch. He’s sitting on your lap, or leaning on your shoulder, or pulling you into his chest just because he needs to be close to you. If you’re watching a movie, he’s definitely going to have his head in your lap, just to be as close to you as humanly possible. He gets giddy when he gets attention from you, too. You could be playing with his hair, and he’ll melt. He’ll whine like, “I’m not clingy, you’re clingy. But also, I love it. So don’t stop.” Honestly, Dick doesn’t care if he’s acting like a bit of a puppy—he’s obsessed with you, and he makes sure you know it.
Damian Wayne
Damian’s clingy moments are hilariously dramatic. He might start out cold, acting like he doesn’t need anyone, but as soon as you show him any affection? He’s all in. He’ll randomly grab your hand and hold it like it’s the most important thing in the world. If you try to walk away from him for whatever reason, he’ll growl and pull you back in, like, “Where are you going? You’re staying right here.” He has this whole vibe of “I don’t need anyone else, just you”, so if you’re talking to someone else or looking away from him for too long, he’ll wrap his arm around your waist and be like, “I don’t think you should be talking to them. They might steal you away from me.” In bed? He’s a hug monster, wrapping his arms around you like he’s never letting you go. He’s all about the intimacy, though—when it’s just the two of you, he’ll be soft and surprisingly vulnerable, making sure you know that he needs you more than he lets on.
Duke Thomas
Duke is lowkey super clingy, but in the way that’s goofy and endearing. He loves to follow you around, like, just wherever you go, he’s tagging along. You’re going to the kitchen? He’s there. To grab something from the laundry room? He’s there. If you sit down, he’s sitting on the floor next to you, asking if you want to “cuddle and watch dumb shows together.” He’s always finding excuses to touch you—like, his hand will just casually rest on your knee or he’ll come up behind you and play with your hair. And if you don’t give him attention? He’ll pout, even if he’s trying to play it off, like, “Aren’t you gonna give me a kiss? C’mon, don’t leave me hanging.” He’s the type who’ll give you a silly smile, lean in for a kiss, and then pull you into a full-on hug like, “Don’t go. I’m not done with you yet.” He’s all about the hugs, especially after a long day. You’ll be just chilling, and suddenly he’s like, “Hug time, right? Let me get one.”
Bruce Wayne
Now, Bruce is not the type to openly admit he’s clingy. He’s still the stoic, brooding billionaire who’s been through a lot, but when it’s just the two of you? He’s softer than anyone expects. He’ll always make sure you’re physically close—his hand on your lower back, your legs touching when you sit next to him, and if he’s standing near you, his hand will casually rest on your arm. When you’re working late or doing something serious, Bruce will occasionally pull you away for a few minutes just to kiss you or hold you close. He’s not great at asking for attention, but when he’s feeling clingy, he’ll show you through little gestures. You’ll find him just sitting beside you in silence, just content to be in your presence. He’s a man of few words, but when he’s clingy, it’s all about the touch—the way he holds your hand, how he presses his shoulder to yours, and how he’ll insist on driving you home or waiting up for you, just to make sure you’re safe.
summary: my personal miscellaneous hc's for the bat boys and their physical attributes (listed in height order) <3
note: possible cw's for body dysmorphia in jason's btw. A/N at the end <3
jason:
the tallest and bulkiest of the bunch. I see him as just a bit taller than 6'4, but not quite 6'5. he's probably 6'5 when he's wearing his big patrol boots though.
his height and muscle mass are all results of the lazarus pit. if he hadn't died and been thrown into the pit, he likely wouldn't have gotten any taller than 5'9. childhood malnutrition will do that to you.
he was ridiculously shredded when he first came out of the pit and was training with the league, mostly because he didn't have the diet or nutrition to keep up with his new mass. he looked shrink wrapped. his abs were always incredibly defined because of dehydration. once he starts taking better care of himself and starts actually eating enough calories to keep up with his size, he gets a nice layer of healthy fat over his torso. someone play big boy by SZA.
it took him a long time to learn how to feel comfortable in his new body after the pit, and but the body dysmorphia still creeps in every now and then. there are times when he still feels like a gangly, awkward 15 year old boy living in a grown bodybuilder's body. he ends up standing with a slouch most of the time until he gets more comfortable with his new stature. I will say that the first time jason realized he could look bruce directly in the eye without craning his neck like he needed to when he was younger, it gave him a panic attack so badly he wanted crawl out of his skin. he had a similar reaction when he realized how small his old robin suit used to be.
his hair was much curlier as a kid, but now as an adult it's more wavy. however, his hair does get significantly curlier when it's wet/humid/sweaty/etc. every time he takes his helmet off after patrol he needs to shake his hair out like a wet dog or else the helmet hair is out of control.
biceps and thighs the size of tree trunks. even if a shirt fits his torso with room to spare, the sleeves will still be tight around his biceps. for that reason, most of his workout shirts are either muscle tanks or just old shirts that he cut the sleeves off of.
his hands get very sweaty and clammy when he's nervous. he hates it because he thinks of it as one of his most obvious tells.
very prominent arm and hand veins. I don't see him as the type to wear a lot of jewelry, but he would look incredible with a few chunky signet rings.
I can see him with a maybe a couple cartilage piercings in his ears that he either did himself, lindsay lohan parent trap style, or he got them done in some sketchy 24 hour gotham piercing and tattoo shop.
speaking of tattoos, I don't think he'd realistically have any because any visible tattoos would make him too identifiable, but the idea of a tatted jason makes me bark like a rabid dog. jason with sleeves and hand tattoos... jason with back tattoos... jason with neck tattoos. I gotta stop myself here before I start foaming at the mouth.
bruce:
the second tallest and second bulkiest. just a hair shorter than jason at 6'3, but appears closer to 6'5 in the suit because of the reinforcements in the cowl and in his boots.
he has incredible posture. alfred wouldn't accept anything less from his young charge, but it was really cemented into him by the Tibetan monks. his posture makes him seem even taller than he actually is.
I imagine the wayne men as all being tall, but bruce had sporadic growth spurts between the ages of 14-19. by the time he started training with the league, he'd stopped growing in height, but continued to gain significant muscle mass throughout his training.
bruce's muscle is more dense and compact, where jason's is more visibly bulky. bruce has the kind of muscle that can be easily hidden if he's wearing a heavy coat or a suit jacket, but as soon as he sheds the extra layers of clothing, you can tell he's jacked.
Shoulders For Days. shoulders and broad chests are the defining feature of the wayne men. all of his suit jackets and coats have to be custom tailored to fit his shoulders without ripping through the seams. his traps and deltoids are crazy. a pull-up bar hates to see bruce wayne coming.
his hair doesn't have much wave to it, but a few loose strands will always fall forward into his face no matter how much gel or pomade he puts in it.
his knuckles are almost always bruised or cracked. when paparazzi catch photos of it, bruce tells them that he's picked up boxing as a hobby. in reality he's just out punching goons straight into the ICU every night. alfred has to nag him about putting some fancy hand cream on every night to keep his knuckles from splitting.
his hair started going grey at the temples in his late twenties. dick and jason used to make fun of him for it, so every 6 weeks or so he would dye it to match the rest of his hair. he gave up on that once he got into his mid thirties, though. then the public happily embraced bruce wayne's new silver fox status.
there are a lot of gossip articles or those “plastic surgeon reacts” type of videos discussing whether or not he’s had plastic surgery done. botox, fillers, face lifts, rhinoplasty, etc. photos comparing and analyzing his face from when he was 20 to his face at 40. what the public is sure was at least a $50,000 nose job and face lift is actually just several broken noses, a few skin grafts, and various dental procedures that have occurred during his time as the bat. the cowl has continued to be more and more reinforced over the years, but it doesn’t protect him from everything.
dick:
right in the middle in terms of height and muscle. he's 6'1 and change, but probably says he's 6'2 on his driver's license.
he's definitely leaner than bruce and jason, but his entire body is equally muscular (whereas I imagine bruce and jason having the most of their muscle around their torso/arms). his calves are just as impressive as his biceps. the control he has over his entire body is olympic gymnast-level. (look up pictures of male olympic gymnasts if you want dick grayson body references).
dick has the quintessential Pretty Boy Hair. his hair isn't nearly as curly as jason's is, but it has the perfect amount of wave and length to frame his face perfectly. he's constantly running his fingers through it to push his hair out of his face, but it always falls right back.
dick has the kind of facial features that make everyone jealous. the most beautiful lashes you've ever seen, brilliant gigawatt smile, perfectly placed dimples, naturally full lips, jawline carved from marble. his eyebrows are somehow always perfectly shaped and groomed, despite the fact that he does nothing to them.
his hands are surprisingly calloused and roughed up for a boy as pretty as he is. people shake his hand at a gala and expect to feel a hand that has never worked a day in its life, but they're met with the callouses of a blue collar worker. he had callouses on his hands at age 8 that adult men in their 40s didn't even have.
he was a very small child, but then he had a ridiculous growth spurt in his teens. he basically went from 5'7 to 5'11 in the span of a few months when he was 15. alfred was having to tailor all of his clothes every few weeks.
he tans very, very easily, but he rarely ever burns. when he was a kid he would spend hours and hours in the wayne manor pool during the summer and never once got a sunburn. trying to put sunscreen on a young dick grayson was like trying to bathe a feral cat. on the rare chance that he does burn, it always turns into the most natural flush across his nose and cheeks.
dick gives the best hugs in the world. a very enthusiastic hugger. he's always unnaturally warm (there's a reason bruce would never get dick to add pants to the robin uniform) and he always smells good. i imagine his signature cologne is some mix of citrus, woods, and sea salt that shouldn't really make sense together, but fits him so well.
he's the type of person that needs to physically exercise nerves or jitters out of his body. jumping up and down, shaking out his wrists/hands, rolling his shoulders, lunges, cracking his neck, etc. jumps and leaps and flips that he could do with his eyes closed, sometimes he still needs to hype himself up before his feet leave the ground.
damian:
damian doesn't ever end up as tall as bruce (something he is secretly very upset about), but he does end up at 6'0 on the dot.
he had sporadic growth spurts between the ages of 13-16, just like bruce did, but he was still only about 5'8 by the time he was entering his senior year of high school. it got to the point that his brothers joked that he'd probably stopped growing and was destined to forever be the littlest brother. much to their intense chagrin, damian grew nearly 4 inches between 12th grade and when he started his med school undergrad.
damian has the trademark pending Wayne Men Shoulders. I'm team "damian is practically the spitting image of talia," but you get one look at damian's shoulders and know he is a wayne. I see him developing more more of a swimmer's build once he gets older; broad shoulders, muscular back, but with a narrower waist and leaner muscles.
the craziest bedhead you've ever seen in your life. his hair has very little wave to it, but it is crazy dense and crazy thick (you will never see him with a receeding hairline). that's part of the reason he's gotta keep his hair upright and spiky with gel; otherwise he looks like he just stuck his finger in an electrical socket.
he gets freckles across his nose and cheekbones that only come out when he's been in the sun for a while, something he gets from talia. they will almost completely disappear from his face during the gotham winter, but one weekend spent on the kent farm with jon during the summer and damian comes back to the manor with a full face of freckles.
I can see damian having very expressive features when he's not trying to mask them. he has a really deep furrow in between his brows (something I imagine bruce having as well) that comes out when he's focusing really intently, or when he's brooding. speaking of brooding, damian has a very distinct pouty/grumpy face that he insists he does not have. the batbrows come out in full force, along with the eyebrow furrow, and his lips form a little pouty frown. it's amplified 10x when stands with his arms crossed. it's an expression that is somehow a mix of "grumpy little kid who was told they can't have ice cream for breakfast" and "crotchety old man sitting in a park waiting to feed birds."
with the exception of bruce's fancy watches, damian is the only one of the boys that I can actually see wearing jewelry on a regular basis. I imagine that a lot of the jewelry he wears are pieces that were once talia's, some of the few things of sentimental value he was allowed to have in the league. things like simple chain necklaces or beaded bracelets that he can hide with a long sleeve or a higher collar. maybe a few jeweled or signet rings. maybe he gets his earlobes or his helix pierced when he's older. the only piece of jewelry he has from bruce is one of thomas' old watches that bruce gives damian when he gets accepted into medical school.
very, very nice hands. the kind of hands that practically scream "i use a $100 hand cream and take care of my cuticles." talia was very strict with teaching him good grooming habits, and it definitely paid off. you'll never see damian with hang nails or chewed fingernails. once he gets into his med school residency program and is washing/sanitizing his hands 100 times a day, he experiences his first bout of chapped hands. he calls talia for advice and sure enough, a package appears at his doorstep within 24 hours with 6 different hand creams (shea butter, goats milk, glycerin, jojoba oil, etc) and multiple vials of homemade cuticle oil, along with a pair of cotton gloves to wear at night.
tim:
last, but certainly not least, tim is the smallest of all of the batboys. at 5'10, he's not short by any means, but he's the only one out of his brothers to not break 6'0.
I am sick and tired of the twinkified!tim agenda. tim was always going to be more lanky and thinner than the other bats, just genetically speaking, but he's doing the same training regimen and fighting the same goons the rest of the bats are fighting. by no means is he unfit or not muscular. in my head, tim's got the sleeper build locked down. if he's wearing baggy clothes or long sleeves, you'd think he's just a pretty typical skinny white dude, but the second he wears shorter sleeves or the bottom of his shirt rides up when he pulls a sweatshirt off, people around him are doing double takes.
tim is a really, really terrible knuckle cracker. and yes I am projecting this from myself. it's one of his little "brain break habits" that he does when he's pouring over a case and needs to reset his brain. and it doesn't just stop at his knuckles. he'll crack his spine, his neck, his elbows, his wrists. basically any joint that he's capable of cracking? sounds like a glow stick. he has been yelled at multiple times during stakeouts because they can hear him cracking his fingers over the coms.
I can see him having very, very faint freckles across his nose. they were probably more prominent when he was little, but have now faded to the point where you can really only see them if you're up close and personal. if he actually pulled himself away from a computer screen and spent more time outside in the sun, they might darken a bit.
tim very rarely smiles with his teeth. he used to when he was a kid, but then he got braces, and jack and janet didn't like the way family photos looked with timmy's mouthful of metal. even after he got his braces off, he still doesn't smile with his teeth. instead, he has two different closed mouth smiles. there's the "fancy gala press photo" smile that doesn't really reach his eyes, but was perfected by his parents before he reached double digits. then there's his actual smile, the one that his friends and family catch in candid pictures, where the force of his grin makes his eyes scrunch together and his long-hidden dimples emerge from hiding. look at this picture if u want to see what i'm talking about.
some of the worst posture you've ever witnessed in your life. no amount of ergonomic desk chairs or posture correcting braces can fix it. it's also his casual resting position. if he's sitting in a chair or on the couch, he's curled his legs up in front of him. if he's actually fallen asleep in his bed and not hunched over his desk, he's tucked himself into a ball, roly poly style. someone unshrimp him please, i'm begging you.
you may think olivia rodrigo wrote the line "i think that you're killer, with your floppy hair" about louis partridge. you'd be wrong. she actually wrote it about timothy jackson drake. my source? shhhh dude just trust me. bruce and alfred are always nagging him to get a haircut, because surely his hair is getting into his eyes? what they don't know is that his floppy hair is responsible for 70% of his rizz. (except for that fuckass bowl cut. baby timmy was in the trenches with that one).
his lips are always busted and cracked. it's partially because he chews on his lips when he's really focused or when he's stressed, and partially because of just plain ol' dehydration. it's gotten so bad that sometimes he doesn't even register how cracked and bloody his lips are until he drinks or eats something acidic or salty, and then he's Very Aware of it. get this man a glass of water and a burts bees please and thank you.
his hands and feet are Always cold. tim drake, anemia king. fuzzy socks are always a much appreciated gift for him, even if he usually ends up losing one and wearing them mismatched. if he's feeling particularly annoying he'll walk up behind his friends or his siblings and stick his freezing cold iceberg hands down the back collar of their shirt. this habit has gotten him dangerously close to impalement multiple times.
• Dick Grayson is the worst sick person. Not because he’s grumpy, oh no, he’s still sunshine incarnate, but because he refuses to admit he’s sick until he’s practically horizontal.
• You catch him trying to sneak out in full Nightwing gear with a fever of 101°F. He’s swaying like a tree in a hurricane and insists, “I’m fine, babe. Just a little warm. Gotham’s warm. I’m just adapting.”
• You physically block the door and threaten to hide his escrima sticks in the dumpster if he doesn’t get back in bed. He pouts. You win.
• Once he’s finally in bed, he becomes the clingiest, most dramatic patient ever. He wraps himself around you like a koala and mumbles, “Your body heat is the only medicine I need.”
• You try to get up to make soup. He groans like you’ve just betrayed him. “Don’t leave me. I’m dying. I need one last kiss.”
• “You’re not dying, you’re congested.”
• “Same thing.”
• He insists on watching old cartoons with you while buried under a mountain of blankets. You catch him mouthing the theme songs between sniffles.
• You spoon-feed him soup, and he dramatically sighs after every bite like you just saved his life. “You’re an angel. A god. A culinary genius.”
• “It’s literally canned chicken noodle, Dick.”
• “But it tastes like love.”
• He tries to convince you to cuddle him even though he’s a walking biohazard. “If you get sick, we can be sick together. Think of the bonding.”
• You eventually give in because he looks at you with those big blue puppy eyes and says, “Please?” in that soft voice that makes your heart do somersaults.
• He falls asleep with his head in your lap, snoring softly, and you run your fingers through his hair, smiling because even sick, he’s still your favorite person in the world.
• The next morning, you wake up with a sore throat and a very smug Dick Grayson whispering, “Told you it’d be romantic.”
