So… the other day my inbox exploded. Imagine my surprise, waking up, rolling out of bed, doing a check of notifications and my eyes popping out in surprise. Quite a few of my followers were sharing their distress at another blogger’s claim. I know this blogger. We’ve spoken in the past, often privately but occasionally in reblogs.
We share a difference of opinion here. They know this, I know it. We respect our difference of opinions. I even gave them a polite heads up on this post, because I didn’t want them to think I’m calling them out. At most, all I am doing is disagreeing.
See… having a temper does not make a person abusive. I have a temper. We are all human. All of us have our limits, our moments, that we explode—and it’s not always rational or understandable.
Now, keep in mind, I am not excusing Jensen having these volatile moments. The hotel door story has me puzzled, because he wouldn’t—shouldn’t—share something like that unless it genuinely was okay. Him blowing up at someone he seemingly almost hit? Yeah, no, not cool.
Does that translate into being an abuser himself? Respectfully… no.
It’s Jensen being able to safely (not really, but work with me here) at others when he’s unable to do so at Danneel. Does he have moments where he blows up at Danneel? I’m sure he does. And frequently probably regrets it, if Danneel is anything like other abusers. It can be manipulated and turned into a “See? This is why I can’t talk to you. You blow up like this and then suddenly it’s all my fault.”
It’s extremely rare for both people in a relationship to be abusive. It’s why I wrote about reactive abuse not too long ago. Mutual abuse just rarely happens. It’s likely if Jensen is acting out, it’s because he was being abused first.
Does that mean the other blogger is wrong? No. Does it mean I’m wrong? No. More we have different interpretation of certain celebrities and situations. Our experiences color our perceptions, how we view scenarios.
In so many ways, the “truth” has multiple views. Even witnesses of a car accident will see everything differently. One person will be 100% certain that one car hit the other first, while the other would be positive it was someone else. This is why eyewitnesses are shaky to depend on for court trials. This is why evidence, hard evidence, such as photographs, expert opinions, videos, are so important.
And then the reasoning behind such situations. Why did Jensen lose his temper over a hotel door not opening? Why did he have to blow up at that gentleman? What was the trigger behind all that? Was it because he couldn’t blow up at Danneel? Get her to stop? But this—a door? Kick it in! Instead of owning up to his fault, Jensen had to turn the blame on the gentleman? Because for once, he didn’t want to be at fault?
There are so many different ways of viewing it. So many interpretations.
In the end, the one who can say otherwise is Jensen. There are stories he tell that have me pausing and going “Why that story? That doesn’t put you in a good light.” Did he feel unworthy of good stories? Of being seen in a good light? Or was it so normal to him that he doesn’t realize how alarming it came across to others?
(Certainly I wonder why he thought he had to share that his father beat him with a belt…)
In the end, we have our stances. This blogger knows mine. I know hers. We respect one another’s opinions.
