#different life

[bluebugsy]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

We finally hit 100k words 🎉

Now we just have to get to the ending ☠️☠️☠️

[mvaljean525]

My thoughts soar not as they ought to soar,    Higher and higher on soul-lent wings; But ever and often, and more and more    They are dragged down earthward by little things, By little troubles and little needs, As a lark might be tangled among the weeds.

My purpose is not what it ought to be,    Steady and fixed, like a star on high, But more like a fisherman's light at sea;    Hither and thither it seems to fly--- Sometimes feeble, and sometimes bright, Then suddenly lost in the gloom of night.

My life is far from my dream of life---    Calmly contented, serenely glad; But, vexed and worried by daily strife,    It is always troubled, and ofttimes sad--- And the heights I had thought I should reach one day Grow dimmer and dimmer, and farther away.

My heart finds never the longed-for rest;    Its worldly striving, its greed for gold, Chilled and frightened the calm-eyed guest    Who sometimes sought me in days of old; And ever fleeing away from me Is the higher self that I long to be.

----

Fleeing Away

Ella Wheeler Wilcox  1850-1919

----

Graphic - Lionel Percy Smythe, R.A., R.W.S., R.I., R.O.I. 1839-1918

[boosandwine]

Wrong Time

Wrong time, wrong place he smiled.

And I smiled too.

Because I knew from the moment I locked eyes with you.

Like the ocean tides, I was drawn to you.

You were my moon, high in the sky and orbiting my every thought.

Like the north star you led me home, to the realization of my own being.

That I too was put on this earth for something more.

That I too had a path left undiscovered.

 My soul howled and danced for you.

It banged on the edges of my existence,

Reverberating off of my consciousness,

Like a swelling storm.

The currents spread through my body and ignited a fire.

Like a flame soaked in gasoline,

I burned to know you.

 Yet I was left in a perpetual blaze.

You held the empty watering can in your hands,

But you had already saturated her garden.

Her vines intertwined with yours, roses and daffodils.

My own flowers rooted elsewhere.

I would have wrecked your world, he laughed.

And I laughed too.

Have you not already?

[angelyk-fruitcake]

[mple-selhnhh]

You’re always one decision away from a totally different life.

-Unknown

[luck-and-larceny]

♜: How would they fair if they had to rebuild their life from scratch?

OOC: I think she'd end up exactly on the same path. She has regrets about things she has done so she might not go back and do things exactly the same way--- but I suspect she'd end up in exactly the same spot regardless.

IC: "What's wrong with my life? Nothing. I did rebuild my life from scratch and now I'm living it exactly the way I choose." Malika purses her lips and taps her thumb twice against her leg as she reconsiders this answer. What she said was the truth. But people don't always want to hear the truth. What they want to hear is something interesting. 'I'm doing great and would change nothing' is not an interesting answer. "OK. Wait. Ignore that." She leans forward and puts both hands in front of her, fingers spread, as if to say Now imagine this. "Let's pretend that instead of needing to make my own way through life I was found as an orphaned kid and taken in by a modestly wealthy family in Gridania. What would my name be?" She gets lost in contemplating this for a moment. "I unno. Leka. Let's go with that. And since this is a modestly wealthy family, I grow up with so much pride for my city-state. Ra ra Gridania! I wear tons of green and yellow-- which is unfortunate because those are absolutely not at all my colors. But Leka doesn't know that. Leka is just so happy to be representing her fair and beautiful land, right?"

Her eyes grow wide and a manic grin crosses her face, "In fact- she wants to represent Gridania even better. To make her parents proud, and because she's such a dutiful and law-abiding citizen, she's going to keep Gridania safe by becoming a Wood Wailer. Now she's firmly decked out in green." She wrinkles her nose. "And that chocobo shit is all toad skin leather, isn't it? That's so gross." She visibly shudders. "Ugh. That's so unbelievably gross. But this isn't about me. This is about Leka. She probably loves the feel of that waxy, weirdly shiny, gross, yucky leather."

Malika sits up straight in her seat, rolls her shoulders back, and lifts her chin haughtily. "She stands out in front of the White Wolf gate all day very importantly telling people that they can't go through it because they're not strong enough to withstand all the difficult wildlife beyond it." She puts on a slightly deeper, affected, self important voice. "Back away, citizen! This gate is not for you! This gate is for me and my impossibly tall Wood Wailer buddy to play cards next to. But like- only moderately well. I don't get much time to go to the Gold Saucer because this gate might get up and wander away if I'm not leaning against it most the day."

She wrinkles her nose again. "Wow. Leka fucking sucks." She lifts her drink in a toast: "Here's to being Malika: a constantly broke, no good, absolute low-life who doesn't have to wear green toadskin leather."

[saxofficial]

Treat each as a different life. Every day is day one.

https://www.instagram.com/saxofficial/