#discworld headcanons

[zakalwe-the-ninth]

I am doing more drawings for your fic after all, and low key I think Vetinari or Vimes (or both) should have a slightly regrettable tattoo, for Vetinari maybe something he got during the Eurorail I mean the Grand Sneer and for Vimes I am less clear but definitely something he got in a bit of an amateurish way idk I am torn between something he found important or something extremely silly. Thoughts on the matter?

OHHH AMAZING 👀 Very excited by this, thank you! 💜

And I do actually have some tattoo headcanons! I may have mentioned this elsewhere but I do believe dramatic-teen-goth Vetinari might have got a very small, very concealable lilac tattoo after the revolution. Vimes I think may have got blackout drunk after his mum died and woke up with a wobby-lined 'mum' tattoo on his arm, or something 👀 Alternatively he passed out one time and Nobby poked something rude on his back 😂

If you had other ideas though, I'd be delighted for you to run with them!

[twasjane]

Look, it's very important to me that you know:

Sam Vimes has a Northern accent. I don't make the rules. He sounds like Gene Hunt and there's nothing you can do about it. He's also only 5"7. He also has a father-daughter bond with Angua.

Carrot Ironfoundersson has freckles. A lot of them. They cover his shoulders. He is ginger ALL OVER.

Angua has a wolf cut. OBVIOUSLY. Just a very fluffy mane like wolf cut. She has amber brown eyes.

Cheri got a subtle nose piercing at some point. She also wears her hair in a cute bun to compliment her beard.

[skyriderwednesday]

Vetinari does know how to knit and is actually fairly good at it*, but he doesn't have time to commit to his own projects and he is entirely banned from touching Drumknott's knitting for several reasons.

Firstly, it is incredibly disconcerting to pick up your knitting project and find it several rows ahead of where you left off. It doesn't matter that you knit the repeat exactly to where it was when Rufus put it down, it's weird, stop.

Secondly, he knits in (the Disc's equivalent to) English style, which is entirely compatible with Rufus's [for lack of coming up with an appropriate term] Continental, but mixing the two at random starts twisting the yarn and messing up the tension, so stop.

Most pressingly, he's left-handed and Rufus is not, so sections end up knitted backwards in comparison to others, which hasn't resulted in disaster yet, but will surely go wrong eventually-- the thought of which gives Rufus terrible anxiety, sir, please stop.

*Being the kind of child that bothered adults by insisting on being part of their conversations, handing a young Havelock a ball of yarn and a pair of needles was a good way to shut him up**.

**At least until he figured out how to knit and talk at the same time. His Aunt Bobbi still slightly regrets inadvertently teaching him to multitask at the age of three.

[mortispoxi]

Lord Vetinari is one of the many anonymous authors that make up the Times’s advice column. He goes under the pseudonym Mrs. Venerable and he primarily writes as a hobby but likes the catharsis of being able to help the citizens of Ankh-Morpork with their smaller life problems. The people working for the paper have no idea who the true identity of Mrs. Venerable is. All they know is that in the early mornings, letters regarding questions asked by readers the day before are dropped off in a sealed envelope without name or address. Readers of the Times hold Mrs. Venerable in high regard because her answers are always tactful and even comedic in nature. Questions involving how to deal with a terrible spouse get responses from Mrs. Venerable that usually include the phrase, if you don’t divorce them I will start the proceedings for you. 

[villafordefeatedvillains]

Would love love LOVE to hear about your Discworld headcanons and ships! Anything you'd like to talk about!

going to talk about some hogfather headcanons because we have Many Thoughts. - i know some people ship susan and teatime, however i see them as more of a wlw/mlm hostility. also, i took the "inner babysitter" line way too literally. if i made an au where he lives, susan would consider herself responsible for making sure he doesn't kill her granddad/anyone else. on the other hand, teatime would be trying to make her life as hellish as possible. insert image of susan with him on one of those child leashes here. - while quoth, squeaker (the death of rats) and death all want susan to come back and help with the "family business", albert doesn't like her as much. he just sort of tolerates her, and prays that she doesn't muck up his quiet retirement. he also doesn't like her reminding him that too much sherry is Not Good. he doesn't hate susan, per say, but whenever death sends her hogswatch cards, he always manages to sneak a little "don't visit" on there. - speaking of an au where teatime lives, i present to you the funniest (this is subjective) idea for a ship/character interaction. teatime does SOMETHING to get himself in the cells of the watch house, and before susan can bail him out, william de worde visits him for an interview. teatime proceeds to act like a lovesick puppy, partially because he is genuinely interested but also partially because it freaks the fuck outta william. susan bails teatime out, and then has to deal with the consequences of her charge being gay (read: sending william bouquets that always smell disconcertingly of blood, with roses that seem a little too red) - albert is the one who upkeeps the gardens at death's place. he figures that there's not much else to do, right? sometimes death brings him cuttings from various exotic and possibly dangerous plants. - death was actually really good at being the hogfather. - teatime will tell anyone who listens about his "tragic backstory". the backstory changes every time. nobody knows which one, if any, are the truth. - most of the hogfather crew sound the same as in the movie. except teatime. yes he's supposed to be creepy. no he's not supposed to be johnny depp's willy wonka style creepy and i will DIE on this hill. if anyone wants to ever write like. fanfic based on any of these go ahead but PLEASE link it to me because I am so starved of content

[lancrewizzard]

There aren't any short nosed swamp dragons with breathing difficulties because Lady Sybil had very polite words with everyone who tried breeding them until they felt guilty and stopped.

[erdariel]

So I just made up a little Discworld headcanon that I want to share:

In Guards! Guards! (at least I think it was that one) Vetinari tells Vimes that he doesn't believe there are good people, that there are only bad people in opposite sides. However the later we get in the series, the harder it is for me to believe that he really percieves everyone as bad.

But on the other hand, what would he gain from telling Vimes that if he didn't believe it himself? I can't really think of anything. Besides, when he originally said it, I was totally ready to believe he thought that was how the world was.

So, I reached the conclusion that he at some point changed his mind. And why would he change his mind about something like that? I think that it was Vimes. Vimes and maybe Carrot and a few other Watch members, people who wanted to bring some justice to the world. Book after book, they strive to save people, protect the oppressed, do good and make the world just a little better place.

I'd like to think that Vetinari looked at them and thought: "Maybe there really are a few good people after all."

Now I want to say, I'm not a Vetvimes shipper (it's a fun idea, I don't mind seeing it around, I just don't ship it myself), although I know you could make a lot of shippy stuff out of this. But it is clear to me that Vetinari trusts Vimes a lot and appreciates him and what he does, I just see it more platonically. And I had an idea of this headcanon and I just kinda really like it, so I thought to put it here.

[leona-florianova]

Discworld fancast

anyway haha cause it seems almost everyone has some.

But since I can Imagine book characters only as forever changing mixtures of other characters... Lets say if I somehow fused these dudes I would get perfect headcanon Vimes