The Great Nigel @skyriderwednesday - Tumblr Blog

Head stays still but the body GROOVES

sometimes bird mating dances just look bizarre but if i saw a guy doing this at the club i'd know EXACTLY what he's after

#that's some CRAZY isolation little dude!

ladytabletop

Dungeon Bitches

really love this analysis of metagaming!

#do you know how many times i've metagamed for story reasons?#do you know how many times i've gone ''well. my *character* wouldn't necessarily do this. but it'll be so much more fun if they do.''???#my most recent campaign character was *built* entirely around that concept #(it was an extremely meta campaign by design)#like he canonically had the power of the narrative acting on him #- which was a force that explicitly wanted to get the best story out of each situation #so he regularly had intrusions of #''uh yeah sorry dude we both know it's stupid to [e.g. touch this obviously cursed artifact] but somebody's got to do it For The Plot''#so he touched the things. and IC he had some metaphysical addiction to knowledge which he beat himself up about regularly. it was great

zoesupreme

we're for real gonna be telling stories about this man for centuries

zoesupreme

yall I feel like I'm floating right now

tanoraqui

Wembanyama used a trip to the Shaolin Temple to work on his range of movement, which included kung fu training.

#is. is this a movie yet????#it should be

thestuffedalligator

Human Is is a 1955 Philip K. Dick sci-fi short story where a guy goes to another planet for work and when he comes back to Earth his personality has flipped from an asshole to a sweet, kind, considerate man. Everyone's immediately convinced that an alien has taken over his body, this goes all the way to court, and in court his wife testifies that she's noticed no changes at all and so the charges are dropped.

And then there's a bit right at the end of the story as the wife and the husband are walking out of court:

Jill turned abruptly. "What is your name? Your real name."

The man's gray eyes flickered. He smiled a little, kind, gentle smile. "I'm afraid you would not be able to pronounce it. The sounds cannot be formed..."

Jill was silent as they walked along, deep in thought. The city lights were coming on all around them. Bright yellow spots in the gloom. "What are you thinking?" the man asked.

"I was thinking perhaps I will still call you Lester," Jill said. "If you don't mind."

"I don't mind," the man said. He put his arm around her, drawing her close to him. He gazed down tenderly as they walked through the thickening darkness, between the yellow candles of light that marked the way. "Anything you wish. Whatever will make you happy."

And I. God. There's something there. A soupcon of monsterfuckery. To tell your partner in a moment of intimacy that yes, you're something so inhuman that the lips you're stealing can't speak your actual name. You're a parasite that not only had the ability to burrow under this man's skin and take over his life, but you were so desperate to escape a dead, dry, blasted planet that you did.

And for your partner to then turn around and go "I know, I've always known, and I love you" is just. God I know it's not a great Dick story but something about it is making me lose my mind

thestuffedalligator

Also it's explicitly stated that the guy's consciousness is still alive and preserved on the alien planet. Jill is told this and then proceeds to defend the alien anyways, ensuring that her husband's brain is stuck in a jar on a desert planet. You love to see it

ingridverse

Tired: divorce

Wired: brain in a jar

#good for her! (/gen)

transhuman-priestess

We need to lay more blame for "Kids don't know how computers work" at the feet of the people responsible: Google.

Google set out about a decade ago to push their (relatively unpopular) chromebooks by supplying them below-cost to schools for students, explicitly marketing them as being easy to restrict to certain activities, and in the offing, kids have now grown up in walled gardens, on glorified tablets that are designed to monetize and restrict every movement to maximize profit for one of the biggest companies in the world.

Tech literacy didn't mysteriously vanish, it was fucking murdered for profit.

anoraktrend

Linux is a very good and powerful alternative.

transhuman-priestess

transarsonist

reminder: you cannot Personal Choises your way out of an Intentional Structural Problem

yurigirldick

Fun fact! School Chromebooks block Linux. It's not an easy alternative. You are missing the point

#YOU CANNOT INSTALL UNAPPROVED SOFTWARE ON A DEVICE THAT IS NOT YOURS #that's not ''oooh you'll get in trouble''#that's you physically cannot do it because you don't have administrator access.#that's you can't fucking do it because unauthorised activity on a MONITORED DEVICE will get shut down #could you install linux on a desktop computer physically located in your school or workplace???? NO THE FUCK YOU COULD NOT.#THAT WOULD HAVE THE COMPUTER REMOTELY SHUT DOWN BY I.T. IN MOMENTS AND YOU'D BE UP ON DISCIPLINARY FOR VIOLATING THE 'COMPUTER USE' POLICY.#it's the exact fucking same with a school provided laptop #also jesus fucking christ you can tell nobody's ever used a chromebook #ONLY BEING ABLE TO DOWNLOAD THINGS OFF THE APP STORE AND BEING HARD TO HACK ARE TOUTED AS FEATURES

princesssarisa

Where did your first name come from?

I was named after one of my parents

I was named after a dead relative or family friend

I was named after a living relative or family friend

I was named after a religious figure

I was named after a historical figure

I was named after a fictional character

I was named after a place

My parents just chose a name they liked

Other

Remaining time: 5 days 16 hours

Having been named after a character in The Great Gatsby by my English-major dad, I thought I would ask about this.

#i was named after my mother's grandmother #who i think was alive when mum decided to name me after her but she was dead by the time i was born so?#my twin brother is named after morgan freeman

lazer-t

A pigeon crosses your dash

goldenleopard34335

@murderofsomeone

creekfiend

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

creekfiend

Goats are what is called a precocial species, which means that shortly after birth they are able to do many thimgs on their own, such as standing, walking, eating, and embezzlement

Hi! Why is tumblr running ads for scam 'phone cleaners'????????

Of the "your phone is severely damaged, click now to fix" variety??????

You're actually kidding me???????

#bad tumblr ads

sunderwight

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

great-art-and-a-purple-tongue

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

scribeofchaos

Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.

#IT GOT BETTER #mulan