pussydrunk! waterboy who is just busy looking up at you with that same adorable tone of pleading in his irises in unison of his tongue burying itself deep, deep into your cunt like his life depends on it.
pussydrunk! waterboy who has two fingers inside you to make you even wetter than you already are, his mouth busy pleasing your clit—it only got better when you shoved his face down onto your heat using his hair. god it would be the best if you wrapped your legs around your neck.
pussydrunk! waterboy who laps his tongue into your entrance to lick up the slick that had been a result of your other precious climaxes; the bridge of his nose ‘coincidentally’ bumping into your bud as he kept those roughed up lips of his on yours.
pussydrunk! waterboy who loved to have his hands on the outskirts of your thighs, warm palms that landed on your cold skin kept you anchored down from every climax that could lift thousands off their feet—
pussydrunk! waterboy’s long fingers plunge deep into your sweet g-spot had your back arching right onto the tips of his fingers. “oh… my god. doing s’good baby, i—”
pussydrunk! waterboy who cannot, for the life of him, keep himself off you for more than ten minutes when in bed together :)
I love the idea of Herman’s grandma giving him advice for dating and old fashioned wisdom on how to court you properly.
“Did you buy flowers for them? A young man should always get their lover fresh flowers so the relationship stays fresh. It’s bad luck to leave his lover’s vases empty.”
“Let them kiss you goodbye at the door and take wherever they kiss you. It’s best for a man to only get a chaste kiss on the cheek than no kiss at all. And if they let you in the house that means something sometimes and means nothing most of the time.”
“Never walk ahead of them unless it’s to open a door for them. It’s very ungentlemanly to make them have to follow behind you. That’s why you always offer your arm or hand.”
“Don’t plant seeds in their mind unless you’ve got the plans on how to make them grow. Both in terms of the relationship and the night.”
word count: 1.2k
contains: lots of pet names, bee's best attempt at writing dialogue for a character with a stutter/vocal quirk roleplay, praise kink, herman is a good boy, unprotected penetration, no pronouns or y/n used, afab reader, top!reader vs bottom!waterboy, dom!reader vs sub!waterboy, crybaby!waterboy, reference to jewish herman (bubbe = grandma in yiddish), hyperspermia!waterboy, creampie, aftercare happens but isn’t featured
summary: a joke gift leads to a steamy christmas surprise for your boyfriend, herman <3
a/n: still on hiatus!! but i want to introduce the newest blorbo to my collection of blorbos: waterboy from dispatch! i’m still gonna write for the hanks, waterboy is merely an additional character you can request. s/o to @patheticwhitemenlover for hosting wetmas, enjoy day 12!
You examine your outfit in the full length mirror, adjusting the skimpy dress and snow-colored thigh highs. Visi had been your gifted at yesterday’s White Elephant exchange, so of course she went with the most scandalous present she could find: a sexy Ms. Santa Claus ensemble. You don’t know how she got your measurements, but you wonder if she purposely chose a size down, right on your skin but highlighting your cleavage and curves.
Now, it’s Christmas Eve and your sweetie of a boyfriend Herman is scheduled to arrive in a few minutes—
Or not a few minutes, as your phone buzzes with a text from him, notifying you that he’s outside your apartment. You quickly message him back to come in—he has a key, after all—and stop by your bedroom. With one last look in the mirror, you reapply a fresh layer of red lipstick and take your place on the bed, eager to pounce on your man at a moment’s notice.
A knock on the door, followed by a muffled Hi! Can I come in? from your beloved Herman. You give him the okay and he opens the door, a happy smile gracing his thin lips, “Merry Christmas- Christmas Eve, d- ducky! I have something for—”
His words fall short, as Herman’s eyes widen at the sight of your attire. His jaw goes slack and more water beads at his forehead, sliding down his sharp cheeks like a leaky faucet. You can see his cock twitch in his grey sweatpants (a request from yours truly), as he audibly gulps, “Woah- Wow- you look… Wow.”
“Come here, baby. Have a seat,” you purr, directing Herman to the chair in the corner of your room. Like a good boy, he does as he’s spoken, scurrying off to the chair and sitting down. You hop off the bed and approach your boyfriend slowly; your eyes glimmer with arousal and hunger, as if you’re a lion hunting gazelle.
“So,” you plop down on Herman’s lap, earning a small squeak from him. Already, he has soaked through your thin panties, not that you're complaining or anything.
You trail a finger from his cheeks to his chin, grasping it softly, “Have you been naughty or nice this year, honey?”
“Nice! Nice… I- I’ve been nice,” replies Herman, nodding enthusiastically.
“Hmmm…” you narrow your eyes and grind once against Herman’s clothed cock, a low whimper escaping his lips, “Are you sure you’ve been nice this year?”
“I- I care for my Bubbe- and for Z-Team,” he reasons to you, “I always try my best- do the best that I can to help others as a hero…”
“You’re right,” you smile at Herman before planting a big kiss on his neck’s pulse point, staining his pale skin rouge red with your kiss mark. He hums at your touch and smiles back. You then add on to Herman, “Then let me give you your present, sweetheart.”
Much to his disappointment, you hop off Herman’s lap, but any complaint vanishes when you shimmy Herman out of his pants. He’s left in his rubber duck print boxers, pitching a visible tent. You run a finger from bottom to top of his dick, chuckling at Herman’s squirming.
Instead of your usual foreplay, you decide to take mercy on him—yourself being too eager and horny to wait any longer—and remove his boxers, his cock springing out. Of course, you take a moment to admire it like you always do, fluttering your lashes with a half-lidded smile while playing with Herman’s flushed pink tip. You press a line of kisses against his veiny shaft, relishing in your boyfriend’s soft gasps and moans.
“You’re so hard for me,” you comment to Herman, “Do I turn you on that much?”
“Yes,” a single word answer, but the pitch drop alone is enough to make your own cunt clench on nothing.
“Good boy,” you muse sweetly. You then strip yourself of your panties and climb on top of Herman, hovering over his cock. Ever the helpful man, Herman assists you in mounting him, holding his cock steady while you slowly lower yourself on his length. The two of you shudder and moan when Herman bottoms out, twitching hard inside you. You place your hands on his shoulders and stabilize yourself, letting out a small grunt.
“Only pretty boys on the nice list get this special gift,” you murmur, pressing a kiss under Herman’s ear. He shivers from the contact and secretes more water, already soaking your costume. More and more water generates from his skin, as you begin to ride his lap and whisper tender praises in his ear.
“You’re my good boy, aren’t you?” you coo to Herman, water puddling beneath you and amplifying the slapping of skin against skin.
Herman nods frantically at you, biting his bottom lip hard to suppress his moans. You pout and kiss him hard, running your tongue against said bottom lip and coaxing his mouth open for you to kiss him deeper.
“Say it,” you pause your riding, staring at Herman intensely. He whines from the lack of movement and tries to thrust upward, but you press your weight harder on him to prevent it, “Say it, Hermy.”
“I- I’m… I’m a good boy!” he cries out, his dick throbbing hard and spilling some precum inside you.
Satisfied, you resume your riding and make out with your boyfriend some more, enjoying the taste of his pineapple chapstick—a gift from you that he regularly stocks up on—on your lips.
Eventually, the knot in your stomach begins to tighten harder and your bouncing grows more erratic, as you chase the high of impending orgasm.
“Hermy, cum inside me,” you order your boyfriend, who nods eagerly in agreement, “I wanna cum with you.”
“Pl- Please come with me!” he sobs, tears pricking the corners of his oceanic blue eyes.
You pick up your speed and focus all your energy on achieving a connected climax, yours and Herman’s moans overlapping one another. Herman helps by rubbing circles on your clit, his calloused thumb a pleasant and needed sensation agains your sensitive bud.
The knot soon snaps and you cry out Herman’s name, your gummy walls locking down on his cock. Herman quickly follows and sobs your name, as he shoots ropes and ropes of cum inside your cunt. He wraps his arms around you and holds you close, his lanky body shaking while he paints your womb white. You’re so full; you can feel how heavy his load is inside you, a slight bulge forming above your pelvis.
What feels like eons pass until Herman finishes his climax, a good bit of cum spilling from your cunt and mixing with the water underneath you. Gently, Herman lifts you off his lap and gawks at the cum dripping out of you.
You let out a surprised squeak when Herman shoves the cum back inside with his thick, pianist-like fingers. He smiles at you nervously and states, “I don’t- I don’t want any to go to waste.”
not everyone likes dancing in the rain | waterboy x afab! reader (part 1)
parts: 1 2
word count: 2.0k
desc: herman 'hermy' waterboy was never going to make the first move and you aren't one to let wet pathetic men pass you by without at least getting to know them.
warnings: none really! this one is a two parter so by the second part there will be some suggestive themes! this work isnt ENTIRELY MINE, check out @/lilya_doodles on tiktok for the original piece of art that inspired this! :)
reader is afab! most of my work is bc i am also afab BAHAHH
You knew Herman would never make the first move.
The smallest altercation made him fumble and trip over himself to think of something to say, mopping up his own nervous puddles took up most of his janitorial duties that weren't cleaning out the fridge or cleaning the restrooms. To anyone else, he was pathetic and maybe even pitiful: you're born a superhero and they have you cleaning toilets and showers instead?
But, oh, he was so sweet.
Maybe it was rude to say that he was meant for hospitality but his kindness (and his crush) came out in little ways that made you feel like you had a high school crush again. Every morning at the beginning of your shift, a coffee with an unmistakable wet handprint on the already flimsy cardboard cup magically appeared at your desk. After weekends, a still dripping flower of any kind was placed in your pencil cup with the rest of your squeaky clean desk, something you would never do for yourself or anyone else here if you were in his spot.
You had to get to know him.
He's cleaning when you see him, humming and occasionally muttering to himself as he moves from desk to desk. The wet squeaks of his water suit interrupt the silence of the empty dispatch floor, a faint drip in the mix that no doubt was coming from Waterboy himself.
"Herman, right?"
Herman gasps, jolting back from your desk.
Of course, through all the rosy colored glasses you wore, this was still Waterboy.
Your pencil holder is knocked over, the pens and pencils scattering on the floor between the two of you. "S-Sorry, sorry. I, um, I didn't know, know anyone was still here. Still in the office." Herman laughs nervously, ducking down to clean up his mess. You can't help a smile at the way he awkwardly clatters the stationary into the metal cup, his cheeks flushed red and some of his hair falling into his face just the slightest. "Sorry for sneaking up on you like that. I just finally wanted to see who was the one keep my cubicle so homey." you hum, picking up the remaining pencils and dropping them into the cup when Herman finally stands.
Damn, he's tall.
"O-Oh, yes, the desk-your desk. My grandma, she gardens, um, tries to garden. The flowers, their-are her favorite, especially.." Herman starts before trailing off, the smile that tugged at his lips beginning to fall in realization as his eyes grow wide.
The flowers.
The coffee.
You knew it was him.
"Waterboy, you..okay-"
"YES. F-Fine. Sorry. Sorry." he gulps when his voice rises in pitch a bit, water beginning to drip from his head and down his arm in tiny rivulets uncontrollably. "Hey, d-don't freak out, okay? I really, really appreciate what you've been doing, really. It's very sweet of you." you say with a nervous laugh, watching the way he looks between the mop bucket he was using and where you stand in front of him; was he going to do that vomiting thing?
"You...you do?"
"Yes. I know we don't necessarily run into each other all the time, but.." you start, even feeling yourself flush a bit, "I'd really like to. More often, I mean."
Herman simply blinks at you a bit, his cheeks turning almost impossibly more red. Was this really happening? Right now? To him? He didn't know how to flirt, what was he supposed to say next, his grandma hadn't told him what to if YOU were the one to talk to him first, this was all wrong-
"Y-You, uh..you want me-me to clean your..desk more? When you are at your, at your desk?" he finally stammers out, his heart falling into his stomach when you return the very same blinking he had done at you moments ago. He almost laughs when you start to giggle, refraining from commenting on how hearing you laugh in the break room was almost always a highlight of his day.
"Yeah. Let's call it 'cleaning my desk'. Cleaning and conveniently making casual conversation."
Herman swears you could see the way his heart was beating out of his chest and against his swimsuit.
"W-Whatever you need, boss-I mean, miss, um..yeah." Herman laughs, clearing his throat when you start to pick up your bag from where it sat only a few feet away from your chair. For a moment, you are close enough to him that you can finally see his features despite the ever dripping moisture on him. Freckles are spattered over the bridge of his nose and cheekbones, some even peaking out from the neck of his water suit. Even with the way it sticks to his forehead and skin, you can tell that there is an attempt every morning to organize any sopping wet pieces of hair before it eventually all becomes one big damp mess. You look away before you offer Herman a wave that he returns awkwardly, a geeky smile on his face that you're not sure you've ever seen on him before.
"And Herman?"
"Y-Yes, maam?"
You pretend to ignore the slight satisfaction hearing him say that gives you, briefly thinking of how much you'd like to hear him say that after a fairly successful date with less clothing.
"Get yourself a coffee, too. You deserve it."
Herman laughs at that, grabbing the mop he had disregarded and nodding as you walk away. "I-I don't drink caffeine, um, coffee, but, y-yes. Yes, maam."
ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ ˚₊
It was a little crazy how easy it was for the two of you to get along in only a span of a few weeks. It was even more surprising to you now how exactly Waterboy had never managed to fully be on anyone else's good side other than maybe Robert but it was sort of his job to keep the peace. Herman was funny even when he wasn't trying to be, he was constantly repeating himself whenever you showed even the slightest playful scolding. He definitely made more than a few people slip while standing around you and it was then he would be ushered away to get back to work more so for the safety of everybody else around them who were just trying to get to the bathroom or the break room.
The flowers were even more frequent now; "Does your grandma know your stealing these and bringing them to me?" you'd giggled one morning, taking the lily from your pencil cup and sniffing it contentedly. "Y-Yeah, yes, she, um..she picks t-them and then I bring them for-for you." he chuckled, his cheeks red as he held his coffee cup (filled with water) in both hands.
You liked him.
A lot.
"Hey, you." You call with a wave, your bag slung over your shoulder as you walk up to your cubicle. Herman made it a habit now to leave your desk for last, giving the two of you a chance to debrief for the day and mostly let you gossip about whatever things you'd heard over the SDN. It was dark out now, the floodlights outside the building overlooking the parking lot only illuminating a few employees that were still sticking around for whatever reason. A few of the cubicles have their lamps on while the main office lights have been turned off for the night, making the entire room feel a bit more nostalgic than usual. "You know, cleaning my desk at the end of the day isn't very optimal. We both could have been home by now." you say as you lean against the wall of your cubicle, Herman chuckling softly as he finally drops the mop back into the bucket.
"Y-Yeah, yes, but..I-I like it."
He doesn't look at you when you roll your eyes despite the smile on your face, pushing off the wall and gesturing to the exit as if saying 'let's go'.
"You don't have to walk me to my car today, I parked-"
"C-Can I say- ask you something-"
You both stop speaking at the very same time, waiting for the other to begin. Before either of you can fully react, you put your finger to the tip of your nose and leave Herman stammering.
"Nose goes."
Herman knows that despite the pit in his stomach, he can't say no to you. "Um, yes, yeah, n-nose. Yeah." he mumbles, looking down at his feet. The small trickles of water come first, falling into puddles at his feet. You tilt your head curiously, a smile tugging at your lips. You knew Herman was already a notoriously nervous guy but you hadn't seen him like this around you in a while now.
"Herm, are you-"
"W-Wouldyouliketogoeat- I mean..h-have. Dinner. With. With me."
Even you have to sweat a bit at that.
You two had been having so much fun together already, eating lunch together, sneaking away for impromptu breaks to talk about little ridiculous things, all the things that could only be limited to an office environment.
This would be the first time you two saw each other physically outside of work. Ever.
"I..Herman-"
"I-I understand if you're, um, if you're b-busy, or, maybe-maybe not interested-" he mutters with a high, nervous laugh, grabbing the mop and again and trying and failing to mop up the large puddles forming around him in seconds. Stupid, this was stupid, he was stupid to think someone like you, someone beautiful and kind and smart and charming would want to do anything more with him than get a coffee-
"I would love to."
Herman stops what he's doing, doing a double take before full on staring at you. You were blushing. Hard. You were smiling, you were blushing, you were looking at him the same way the girls in his grandma's soap operas would look at the guys riding horses or serenading them under their window. You were really looking at him like you really liked him.
A lot.
"Y-You..You would love to. Love. You..really?"
Your laugh sends a delightful rush through. It was tinkly and felt like it was made of soft clouds. He would never get tired of it.
"Let's take it slow on the love part, but, yes, Hermy. Let's go to dinner." you hum, smiling so hard you're afraid your face will stay that way. As long as it's him who's making you smile that way.
Hermy.
Herman could die a happy man right now.
"Yes..Yes! Um-"
"Friday. That new Italian place that just opened. I can make the reservation."
"Yes. F-Friday. Italian. After- After work." Herman chimes in, looking to actually contribute to this; "I know you like the girl, Hermy, but make sure she knows you want this. Don't let her go and do all the planning." his grandma had said with an only slightly stern stone, shaving off the thorns of one of her roses. Wouldn't grandma love to hear this.
"Cool. Friday it is."
The two of you stand a few feet from each other, each seemingly entranced by the other: this was happening and it was real. "Um.." you finally start, looking at the door behind you and then at Herman as you feel a blush start to form on your cheeks. "I should, I should go. Don't want you to get in trouble for the mess with the water."
"O-Oh, yes, the- the mess. I-I've got it. Thank you. Maam."
You hadn't really gotten the nerve to get him to stop calling you that. Nor did you want him to stop. Before you can stop yourself, before you can psyche yourself out, you close the gap between the two of you and press a quick kiss to his wet cheek, a hand on his shoulder for support before pulling away. You swear Herman freezes on the spot, the red on his face spreading to his ears and the tip of his nose.
"OK. Bye."
"..G-Goodbye."
You finally walk off, heading for the elevator and pressing the button to take you to the ground floor. You smile all the way to your car, a hand over your lips and a giggle or two slipping out of you.
ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ ˚₊
waterboy is #forced to be a gentleman bc his grandma raised a man, not a little boy
ending is lowkey sudden but listen. today has been a long day
HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED THAT i havent written something entirely fluffy and lighthearted in such a long time and am so #excited for what little bit more im going to write :0)
pssst you can find this on ao3 as well! the same title just under fandomcloud!
As Per My Video Message (Dispatch! Waterboy x Reader)
Part 3 of these headcanons (Part 2 here)
Author's Note: I will not rest until I have documented my every sordid thought about sweet, wet, Herm 💙 Please enjoy my descent into madness - AFAB for smut purposes, but GN pronouns throughout.
Herm got to work a full hour early today. He found himself unable to sleep, or rest, or even sit still after his little home movie adventure late last night, no matter how positive your reply had seemed. He waited until the earliest socially acceptable time to get up, and then practically jogged toward his SDN branch, finding himself passing the time sitting on the front steps of the office, just waiting to see you arrive.
Most of Waterboy still thought this was just a joke that would end up being at his expense. That there was no way you could have actually liked seeing him like that. That you'd actually want to have his damp, narrow fingers caressing you the way they'd been trailing down his chest, wrapped around his cock, aching for you. He could almost feel himself start to stiffen at the thought of it, getting lost in his endless fantasies of you until finally the real you came into view.
After his bold move last night, you had been prepared for Waterboy to be a little more awkward or distracted or frankly a bit of a mess when you saw him today. But as he lifted himself up from his crumpled seat on the concrete steps of SDN to his full, towering height, taking a step forward and waving cautiously in your direction, you realised there was a feeling you hadn't taken into account when you pictured this moment; how badly you wanted him.
You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks as your gaze lingered on his hands, mind filled with images of the way they worked himself into such a state at the thought of you, the thought of those fingers touching you. Herm watched nervously, his goggles resting on his forehead as your eyes raked slowly up his body, your expression completely unreadable and only fuelling his panic as he braced himself to be on the receiving end of disgust and mockery. In another context you might have felt nervous about the sheer level of desire coursing through you as you stepped towards and then past Herm, landing on the first step of the entranceway and making him spin on his heels to keep up with you, but something about watching him whimper out that he'd do anything for you really had you feeling confident about your every move.
"Good Morning Gorgeous"
His eyes went wide as he realised that you meant him, your body coming to a stop so close to his that condensation formed on your jacket. One hand lifted to land gently against his cheek, tilting his jaw down towards you slightly, the man melting forwards into your touch until his face was in reach of yours. Herm had thought a lot of things might happen when he saw you this morning, but he hadn't imagined this one.
Your lips were warm and gentle as they met his, lingering for a few seconds to appreciate how soft his were. Perfectly dampened by the dew drops that decorated his skin. Almost refreshing. It took you pulling away for Herm's brain to catch up with the overwhelming sensation, the sweet lingering scent of you, the hammering his chest as he struggled to take even a shallow breath. And then nothing was stopping him.
Before you could decide your next move damp hands gripped your waist with more force than you expected from the delicate man in front of you, keeping you fixed in place as his lips captured yours. He had thought about this more times than he'd dared to count, the way it would feel to finally hold you, the feel the plush give of your lips against his, but his thoughts could never have done this justice. He wanted to drink you in until every drop of water inside him was flooded with your essence, your light, the taste that overwhelmed his senses when you smiled slightly, lips parting, granting his tongue entrance to explore you more. You could feel his desperation, the way his jaw tensed as he gripped at your sides, hoping beyond hope that this wasn't some cruel joke, but making the most of every second in case it was. In case this was his one chance to kiss you. He wanted to make sure he memorised every detail; from the curve of your lips to the feel of your tongue. A whine escaped him as you brought your free hand to the nape of his neck, letting your fingernails scrape lightly across his skin as you combed through damp curls. For all the unbridled passion you could feel emanating from Waterboy, you could feel yourself getting just as carried away, wanting nothing more than to tug down the long plastic zip that stood between you and the masterpiece that had lit up your phone screen last night. But unlike Waterboy, you still had some semblance of self-control bringing your hands down to his shoulders and pushing him back slightly before he passed out between kisses.
"Sorry Hermy, we've got some work to do before I get acquainted with the star of your video." You let one hand trail over his front, stopping just short of the already noticeable bulge growing beneath his suit, his face flushed and breathless as he nodded at the words, wanting to find something charming to say but instead settling for trailing into the office behind you, a wide smile plastered on his face as his chest all but heaved out of his wetsuit.
--
You kissed him. You weren't mad at him for the video. You liked the video. You liked him. So far, this wasn't a joke. You touched his face. Your lips were so perfect. He could still taste you. No one was looking at him differently. You hadn't shown anyone the video. You hadn't said anything. Because this wasn't a joke. You actually liked him. God he wanted to kiss you again. Touch you. Let you touch him. What time was it now?
These thoughts echoed endlessly through Herm's head as he tried everything in his power to concentrate on his job and not on the periodic throbbing that seemed to wash over his whole body, emanating from the exact spot on his stomach where your fingers had lingered this morning. It was hell. It was heaven. He had something to look forward to, but time couldn't seem to pass quickly enough to get him to it. It was the longest day of his life and he'd never felt more like a hero. Palpable relief washed over the slim man when the bell finally chimed to say his time was up, unwilling to waste even a second before he raced off to meet you at the same spot you had changed his entire life just this morning. Doubts started to fight their way back into his mind as he waited for you to appear, the phrase 'too good to be true' walking all over his new found optimism until he saw your face again. But when he did, it was like his heart was floating with a lightness his water-trodden body never got to feel.
"Ready to go Hermy?"
---
The journey to your place had passed in easy conversation; mostly you telling him about your day and waiting patiently as an increasingly nervous Herm fought with all his might to string a few sentences together that weren't just confessing how much he wanted to kiss you again. By the time you ushered him through your front door and set aside your keys and shoes, he was practically vibrating in anticipation. He knew he should be looking around, using this step deeper into your life to seek out more information about how you could be as perfect as you are. About every building block that made you into the kind of person that could make him feel this way. But instead he only looked at one thing.
The moment you turned to speak to Herm, he was on you. Lips crashing hungrily against yours with no other motive than to chase the high you'd held over him all day. He'd half-forgotten about the video, the promise of more, all he wanted was to taste you again, sighing contentedly against your lips as your fingers trailed through his hair, cascading down his neck, grounding him in your perfect presence once more. Your back landed against your front door as you pulled his body closer, accepting any damp clothing would soon be out of the picture anyway, your mind more focused on getting to see him in the same disheveled state he'd ended up in on your phone last night. His hands hovered lightly on your waist, still hesitant to risk dampening your skin and by extending your mood.
"Hermy-" The word was so warm and light as it left your lips, spreading a smile across Waterboy's face even as he whined at the loss of your kiss. "Come with me." Your voice was almost a laugh at the sight of his lovestruck gaze, watching with great focus as you slipped his fingers between yours and guided him deeper into your home. His stomach jumped inside him as he registered that you were leading him towards your bed, already covered in a thick layer of towels and blankets to catch the inevitable mess being so close to him would make.
You'd laid them here this morning. You'd already decided you wanted him in your bed, before you ever kissed him. This still wasn't a joke. You - perfect, beautiful you - wanted Herm in your bed, water and all.
Waterboy wasn't sure anyone had ever wanted him in that way before, the compliment of your efforts bolstering his confidence enough for him to peel away his gloves, finally letting his arms wrap around you no matter the impact. His warm, soft hands skimmed under the fabric of your shirt along your lower back as he lifted you off your feet, your legs wrapping around his waist as you slowly lowered you down until your back met the blankets beneath you. He held his body just above yours, not yet willing to lean fully against you as your fingers combed through his hair, carefully peeling off his goggles and placing them aside. One palm came to rest against his cheek as you surveyed his piercing blue eyes, drinking in the deep look of devotion you found there, his cheeks already flushed with the overwhelming excitement of having you this close. In a frantic day of desperate need, this was a serene moment of calm, Herm leaning his cheek into your touch as he returned your stare with a singular focus on you, both breathing in the intimate quiet of peace.
"Can I?" Your voice was almost a whisper as you took his zip between your thumb and finger, faces so close that he could feel each syllable against his lips as you spoke. He nodded slowly, rising up onto his knees and bringing you with him, watching you bit your bottom lip with great interest as slowly you unzipped him down to his waist, bringing your hands to his shoulders to help take the tight fabric off of him.
"I hope - I mean - that you're not - that it's - that I'm" Usually you liked to wait for him to finish his thought rather than interrupting, but as each new inch of his glistening skin was revealed, you couldn't fight back the words that overwhelmed your thoughts.
"You're beautiful Hermy. So beautiful." He shuddered as your fingers trailed lightly down his exposed chest, his lean muscles twitching in response to each delicate touch, already so sensitive when it came to you. He could feel his eyes fluttering shut as his body surrendered to you, forcing his hands to move higher up your spine as he echoed your question.
"C-can I?" You raised your arms in response, letting him pull your layers over your head and leaving him trembling at the sight of your bare chest. He looked almost drunk as his eyes raked over you, bulge straining against the bottom half of his suit as he dived forward again, pushing you onto your back. His lips explored the exposed skin hungrily, noticing every time your breath hitched under him, the slight gasps you let out as his slick tongue met your nipples, lapping and circling and drawing the noise from you again and again. You thought you'd be the one holding his hand and guiding through every motion, but as Herm's long slender fingers slid over your stomach and towards your waistband you were starting to think he might already know exactly what he wants to do for you.
"Please Hermy." You don't know which one of you was more surprised by the needy quiver in your voice when his hands paused at the top of your shorts, but the beaming grin it earned from him made your heart ache almost as much as your core, nimble hands making quick work of slipping the remaining fabric down past your ankles and out of Herm's way. No longer willing to be constrained by the tight rubber of his suits, he was quick to rip his zipper all the way down, fighting off the fabric until only a tight pair of boxer shorts remained, doing nothing to hide the growing erection already escaping the damp fabric. As he slowly crawled back over your body your breath caught again; he looks so fucking pretty. He's shining and dripping and warm and hungry and it's all for you. All because of you. Your Hermy.
This time as his lips crashed down against yours he let the weight of his body land on you, warm damp skin sliding against yours as his fingers began to skim slowly along your entrance, testing the waters, finding exactly what makes you feel good. He only ever wants to make you feel good. You moaned against his devouring lips as one longer finger started to slip inside of you, his thumb drawing light circles over your clit. It's gentle and loving and intoxicating, the way he reacted to your body, and your body to his touch. It's everything you should have expected from the sweet hero that keeps pleasantly surprising you at every opportunity. His strumming thumb began to speed up as a second finger slipped inside you, reaching deeper than your own fingers ever could, stirring up that pressure building inside you at a rapid pace, your breaths building into soft whines and moans as he found exactly the spot he needed to make your thighs start to tremble.
"This- uh - this is- what - in the video - I was - what I was thinking about. When I - touched myself. This is be-better though. You - you're so much better." Between the slight proud smile on his face and the heartfelt confession, you could feel your body start to let go, the relentless rhythm of his touch and the loving look in his eyes pushing you over the edge as your felt yourself tense around him, body shaking as your fingers gripped tight against his shoulders, his name spilling from your lips as he coaxed you through each fresh wave of pleasure. Your head was spinning as you came back to earth, the sensation so much better than you could ever conjure by yourself.
"You're amazing Hermy. So good to me." You sighed out the praise with a smile, just about registering the eager look on his face before his body shifted down yours.
"Tha-thank you. You are- so perfect." His words came out almost as breathless as yours as you felt the hot flush of air against your sensitive slit. You lifted your head just in time to meet Herm's piercing stare as his wet lips came tentatively to your still throbbing clit, the sensation immediately running through every nerve in your body. His tongue lapped at your entrance as water seemed to wash over you in the perfect pace to build your pleasure up again, like a perfectly positioned shower head or hot tub jet, focused solely on the epicentre of your sensitivity. The noise that escaped you only spurred desperate Herman on, his forearms pinning your thighs further apart as his fingers started to work inside you again, curving and circling and knowing exactly what to do to draw more of your delicious slick straight onto his jaw. He never wanted his mouth to taste of water again, only of you, to never hear a sound that wasn't the high pitched whimpers of your overstimulated body, drawn to the height of pleasure by him.
You reached one hand down and threaded your fingers through his damp hair, needing a break, needing to breathe, but also needing him to keep going, his strength no match yours as your body started to shake against his tight grip.
"Hermy-" He'd die before he did anything that stopped him hearing that sweet sound from you, moving his free hand from where it rested on your stomach and interlocking his finger with your hand he retrieved from his hair, squeezing tight as a third finger slipped easily into your dripping hole. He had spent so many nights dreaming of having you in this exact position, pinned underneath him while he brought you endless pleasant, putty in his hands as he did everything he could to please you. He could feel you getting close again, your fingers and walls squeeze him simultaneously, a cry for the release he so desperately wanted to give you. He wasn't going to stop, in case this was just another sweet dream, or a one-off mercy, and he might never get his chance to drink his fill of you again.
Your second release hit you even harder than the first, choked moans escaping your lips, sighing out his praises, how good he feels, how good he is for you. Waves of pleasure met their peaks between your thighs as he lapped up every sweet drop of you, your hand almost dragging him up the bed to finally get his face up to yours again. God he looked so good. Chin dripping with both of your fluids, hair scraped back in messy angles from your finger tips and eyes desperately flicking between your eyes and your lips, trying to decide what he needed more. He wanted to apologise for the mess, or wipe his damp face, but before he could do any of that you lunged forward to meet his lips, tongues hungrily sharing in the taste of each other as your hand skimmed down his abs slowly.
"Th-thank you- for letting me- I've always - I really wanted to - do that - for you i mean." Every stumbled word against your lips only made your heart beat faster, a wet, messy, fuck falling into something so much more meaningful. He couldn't stop kissing you long enough to get out a full sentence, wanting nothing more than to give up breathing entirely so he never needed to leave your lips. That is until your palm rubbed over the length of him through his soaked, clingy boxers, ripping a gasp from his lungs he felt like he might drown in.
"You're so good to me, Hermy. So incredible. So gorgeous." Each sweet, praising sentiment was accompanied by a brush of your hand against him through the fabric, his head collapsing against your shoulder as you finally pushed the waistband down his thighs and wrapped your hand around him. The first touch of your fingers against his dick, a sensation he had pictured every day since you first toyed with his fingers in the breakroom at SDN, and he was crumbling against you. You could feel droplets of water hit your shoulder as you slowly pumped over his length, the video barely doing justice to how perfect he was under that uniform. Long and hard and leaking for you, as he shuddered against your throat, nose nuzzling into your neck both in desperation to be close to you and a slight attempt to disguise the effect you were having on him. His eyes were welling up at the overwhelming sensation of your skin against his, the reality that he was here with you, that you wanted to touch him, that he could make you feel good, that you made him feel so wanted as your free hand stroked softly along his spine. He was finally here with you, and he couldn't face the thought of this moment ever ending.
The soft sobs against your skin and the way he twitched in your hand gave away how quickly your sweet Herm was going to fall to pieces, but you intended to make the most of every second of it. Releasing him from your hand drew the most pitiful whimper from Waterboy, who let you tip him onto his back pulling him up into a seat as you moved to hover over his lap, one hand softly caressing his cheek as you kissed him again. Softer this time. Less lust. More love. A tender promise that you were still his friend. That this could happen again. That he didn't need to worry if it was over too soon for him.
You lined him up with your dripping entrance, grateful for how much he'd already warmed you up with the size of him. You held there, waiting, watching Herm slowly catch his breath, until finally he did one gentle nod.
"Fu-uh-fuck," As you slowly sank down around him, you watched him ascend into exactly the man who had had you so hot and heavy with just a video last night. His eyes were glistening and lidded as he looked at you like you offered him pure salvation, his lips hanging open as he struggled to form a single word to express how much this meant to him, how good you felt, his brow furrowing as he fought to keep his eyes open and on you. You watched his stomach tensing as you lifted yourself up for the first time, his hands darting out and gripping your thighs hard, fingers extending along your hips towards your ass.
"Wait." His eyes pleaded with you, on the verge of tears as his body trembled, so close to already unravelling when he'd only just got to feel you. You nodded in understanding, trying to ignore the way your walls fluttered at how hot he looked desperately trying to hold on for you, the way your body affected him, desperate to wreck him entirely. But you waited, and placed a soft kiss against his sodden forehead, sweeping his hair out of his face so you could enjoy every desperate feature of it. Herm could have stayed like that forever, the feeling of your warm, soft walls around him, your lips softly meeting his face as your eyes locked on his with nothing but kindness and understanding. He wished he could tell you how much he loved you. But that was a conversation for when your clothes were on. When he could take a breath, unsure his lungs would ever recover from the way you ripped the air from them with every slight movement of your hips.
"I'm re-ready." He finally released some of the pressure in his grips, hands sliding around to support your bum as you started to work your hips up and down again. You were so full, so sensitive, your heart almost bursting as Herm tried his best to speak in delicate sobs,
"You f-feel - so good- I'm - you are - I'm so lucky. you're - in-incredible. beauti-ful." His strong hands carried you through every bucking movement, his hips driving up to meet yours with each messy thrust, his lips swollen from the sheer force with which they pressed against yours.
"You're so good for me Hermy, so sweet, the best." You could feel your kind words sending him over the edge, each bounce on his lap sending a tremble rippling through his body until his words melted into a desperate cry, the same noise you'd heard through the phone last night, a erupting, moaning whimper that had his hips rutting into you harder and faster and rougher than you would have ever expected from your sweet, loving Herm. You could feel him release more and more inside you, each frantic thrust filling you with more of him until it was leaking into his lap, his hips still twitching as if refusing to accept that he was finally done.
His hands drifted gently up your back as he laid down, pulling you against his chest and encircling you in a tight hug that sent water splashing from every part of his body. Leaning over him you let a hand softly cascade along his face, his eyes still fixed to your lips as he panted for breath, coming down from his high and landing somewhere even better. You looked serene and warm and happy all at the same time, and part of that was because of him. He wondered how he looked as he felt a smile break out across his lips, leaning into your shoulder and letting the weight of his cuddle push you onto your side, nose resting against his as he leaned back to stare at you again.
"More fun than making the video?" You teased, letting your finger run over the mess on his chest and watching him shiver in response.
"So much - fun - more fun - way better. Th-thank you." He gulped in air as he spoke, letting his fingers trace the droplets of water he'd left along your skin, a perfect stream flowing along your ribs, stilling himself to say the words he'd rehearsed in his head a thousand times, slightly shy despite everything. "I really like you."
"I really like you too, Hermy. Even more after that!" You couldn't help the laughter in your joyful tone, mentally thanking all the stars that had aligned to get this moment so right.
"Li-like more than a f-friend?" He knew it was a stupid thing to ask someone who was happily lying naked next to him, but that couldn't override the deep seeded belief that you would never quite reciprocate just how much he felt for you. You softened your gaze, trying to decide exactly how best to reassure your anxious lover.
"More than anything." That was enough to knock the air from his lungs again, surrendering it willingly as his lips found yours once more, clumsy and smiling and dripping wet and perfect for you.
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Like water boy with a reader that believes in him from the start
Waterboys eyes lighting up seeing you and somehow stuttering worse and yet being better at the same time with faintly blushing cheeks
Waterboy who leaves a puddle because he got so nervous and has to immediately clean it up
Reader on the Z team sticking up for him every time someone else starts to give him shit
Once closer and dating the reader buying a poncho to be able to cuddle with Herm easier
Meeting his grandma and cats just to find out she approved and liked them as well as the cats liking them which is the biggest possible green flag for Herm
Him eventually loosing his stutter around the reader because he knows no matter how much he worries they won't get upset or hate him
Reader and him going on missions
Herm coming back from a shift injured and reader fussing to wrap him up just to realize they need the REALLY water proof bandages
he yearns for u. fluff and steven universe mention lol
"Woah, wait. Waterboy. What do you think you're doing?"
You stare widely at his puckered mouth. With a nervous clear of his throat, Herman purses his lips and sits up, slouching over your bent knee.
"I'm... about to, fix—heal, it?" he says as he rubs his nape. "That's looks like a scary pain, injury. Have to... have to heal it for you."
A harsh sting in your stabbed knee reminds you how badly it hurts, so you wince. "Ah, yeah... But please don't tell me you're going to use some kind of healing spit. It sure looked like you were."
"W-Well," Waterboy stutters, visibly trying to find the right words, "yes? It doesn't have, really, no spit! I think. But it heals... Uh, you! And me!"
You chuckle breathlessly, glancing at the overflowing blood on your skin. "Steven Universe type shit, huh? Are you an SU fan?"
"Yes!" he exclaims, a smile pulling on his lips. "I actually, that's where I learned how to heal! By spitting water..." his smile gradually turns doubtful, "into... my scratches... I-It works."
Tears are beading in the corners of your eyes from the painful knee stab. "That's beautiful."
"You don't— Are you, uh, crying?" he gasps. "Steven Universe has— inspiration. I don't blame you for—"
"Just spit on me, Waterboy," you squeeze your eyes shut and look away, leaning your broken knee towards him a little. Some tears escape down your cheeks.
He stares at you for a good moment before realizing. "Y-Yes! I'm-- I will be fast!"
You shudder at the feeling of water being sprayed on your knee, but it feels gentle enough to make you relax. A lot of relaxation, you realize, you actually feel a lot lighter now from that fuckass stab.
Opening your eyes, you see Herm first observing your knee, so you follow his gaze.
Some blood stains are still there, and it's still pinched red. More importantly, the bleeding stopped.
You start to carefully straighten your leg.
"I-I can't heal scars," he clarifies. "Most I can do, uh, keep it clean from infections and no, no bleeding."
It feels so much better than 20 seconds ago.
"Thank you," you smile at him after moving your leg several times. "I feel so much better, holy shit. Thanks, Herm!"
Waterboy smiles, and freezes when you throw your arms around him. It doesn't last long. He feels strangely saddened that he didn't get to hug you too.
But your hand stays on his. "Come on! Let's meet up with the others! ...After I wash my knee off one more time."
(TY FOR THE REQUEST! The fem alien reader x Waterboy is coming soon, I’ve been planning it out! Please give me feedback for the little mini fic and please enjoy!)
Herman loves cats, it’s shown in the comics, but he’s never actually been able to pet them due to his constant wetness. Herm and you had just moved in together roughly a month ago, give or take a week. Lay on the couch, his soggy head resting on your chest as you guys chatter on about whatever pops into your head, until he suddenly sits up, staring at you with those stormy grey eyes and a stupid grin on his face.
“We s-should get a cat.”
Looking up at him, you see the determination in his eyes. You raise a brow. “Don’t cats usually not like you..? The cats at your grandmas would leave the room whenever you entered.” He sits up a bit, starting to ramble. “Y-yes, that’s right, but I’ve been reading and s-sphinx cats often like water and stuff!” He says, his hands moving as he talks.
He carries on for a little while longer until he somehow manages to rope you into going into the rescue centre the next day to test your luck and see if there’s a sphinx. you both wander around together, looking at the different cats, making kissy noises in attempts to see whether or not they were keen to approach.
Your luck slowly starts to run out, all of the cats either growling whenever Herm attempted to pet them or straight up just running away when accidentally getting dripped on. Herm’s face couldn’t hide the disappointment creeping over his features and the rejection of all the felines in the building fled at the sight of him. You lock your fingers together with his, pulling his hand up to your lips to kiss his knuckles. “It’s okay, babe. We can have a look at another shelter tomorrow.” But you could tell it wasn’t the lack of companionship with the animals that was upsetting him, it was the fact that it was his powers that caused the cats to flee.
He looks at you, his eyes filled with defeat.
“Y-yeah… tomorrow.”
Just as you guys were about to leave, Herm feels something small rub against his damp joggers. An oriental short haired cat leans up against his leg, meowing in a way that sounds more like a honk than a meow. Your heart melts as you see Herm, slowly reaching down as if he would scare the cat by breathing too heavily, gently petting the cat on the head. The cat honks, standing on his hind legs just to get more of Herm’s attention.
The cat was beautiful, long ears, slender body, thin white fur and seemed to enjoy Herm’s damp hand scratching it behind its ear.
The cat comes up to you, tangling itself around your legs, honking as it looks up at you. It switches between you and Herm, stealing tickles and playing with the provided cat toys. When you look at your boyfriend’s face, there’s just awe and excitement. He’s doing something he never thought he could do. Have a cat that didn’t hate him.
You stand up, leaving Herm to play with the cat as you walk over to one of the workers to ask how adopting a cat worked and how quick you could do it.
Before the end of the week, Mecha meow (the name insisted on by Herm) was apart of your family. His toys taking up most of the flooring, the cat tree that lived in the corner of the living room and the constant honking for attention became the norm.
If you ever came home late from work, you’d always find Mecha meow curled up on his chest, damp form your boyfriends cool condensation, and Herman, asleep with one hand on the cats head and the happiest smile on his lips.
