#disthymia

[psychnerd47]

Got held after class by my Spanish Professor Today for being “spacey”, Idk why I even try anymore.

[hottie-dotie]

Sketch súper rápido usando una referencia. 2017

[bakhsoliani2511]

〰️▪️◾◼️⬛◼️◾▪️〰️ Hypothymia knitting my thoughts #hypothymia #photography #sky #clouds #tbilisi #evening #october #disthymia #down #sunset (at Youth Association DRONI)

[fanficasawarmup]

Life Update/Advice column

<p>So I have pretty mild asthmatic respatory disease, premenstral disphoric disorder and depression with phsycotic symptoms. I'm a big ole mess and I need to figure out where the leak and alert messages are pretty much constantly. I'm 21+ years old. I tend to do a few things alongside of medications and vitamins. (Perscribed by professionals) <p> -Getting bi-annual vaccinations and or physical checkups. (amazon and his and hers are online alternatives to mental health services. and a regular physical checkup from walgreens and CVS can end up being cheap/effective as well with no health insurance required.)</p>

<p>-Work out every single day. (Yes; even walking around the street for 5 minutes or pacing up and down the stairs.).Hydrate,I don't care if its packed with nutrient packs or colored with a quarter of a soft drink.Don't get your kidneys and blood mad at you.</p>

<p> -Checking email and task list before goofing off.(I work from home and have the luxury to have my own goals and planning before I leave the house before running errands.)</p>

<p> -Get enough sleep/limit times a day to read social media. i use an 90 minute span for Facebook,Tumblr, Instagram,Deviantart and Tiktok.</p>

<p> -Art/Hobbies that are not public information.Its actually great to love getting into improving embroidery or even creative writing skills. but does that really need to be everyone information? being creative can be a wonderful way to channel feelings of all sorts even if you do not enjoy diaries or mood trackers. </p>

<p> -Mix fruits and plants into something edible or straight up drinking them down with something that actually looks good to eat like dairy/ sugar and salty carbs. V8/ fruit juice are perfect for an easy boost in nutrients and fiber without feeling the need to slog into the kitchen when feeling low n energy or just too pained to put much effort into everything. </p>

<p> -Prayer; This one I put last because my relationship with the god (Arawn ap Celyn) and goddess (Elen of the Ways) is pretty much none of anyone's buissness even among Welsh Celtic Reconstructionists/Celtic and or Feri Wiccans/ Druids/ druidic practiconers or whatever you want to use as a label.I would be lost without the guiding influence and desire to keep going because its to respect the divine powers that may be in order(who either how you look at it inspired me to save my own life or interveined in my conciousness to take over for an extended month basis).This is because no faith or crystal, essential oil or chant can fix broncial or mental clogging. Anyone that tells me otherwise is either just as delulu as I was or trying to sell me something.</p>

[carmineink-a-blog]

@disthvmia

❝ You’ve got a whole army of troopers, soldiers, and what have you standing behind. Why go for outside help when you’ve got those numbers on your side? ❞

[hiddenprincessa]

Unhidden: Mental Illness and Friendship

I've had a few confessions rattling around my head, but I always lose the courage to write them down.  I fear judgement, not just from anons who seem so desperate for my URL (seriously, what’s up with that?), but from my omnipresent friends.

Lately, I haven't felt close to anyone. I'm slow to heal and guarded. I'm held together by duct tape and miracles. They can see it. They don't acknowledge it. At least, not in my presence. It's not their fault. I'm not saying it's mine, either.

When you have a  mental illness, you are forever stuck in this paradigm. You are either fragile or in denial about your fragility. There is no in between. There is no “fine.” There is no allotment for the time you need to transition or process. To the world I’m either in shambles or I’m happily in denial and their counting the minutes til I come crashing down again.

So, when my best friend peers over at me every time a character appears on TV with my ex's name I turn to stone. I can't show any emotion. We don't speak about it. We don't speak about my emotions, thought I desperately want to. What no one speaks about when it comes to mental illness is how it robs you of your ability to trust. Through forcing you to feel stigmatized or judged because you process things a little differently, or you are more scar tissue than fresh cells.

Every day I lie to my friends. I put on a mask and pretend to be emotionally moved by their stuff, whether it’s happy or sad. Then, unfairly, when they withhold things from me I feel slighted. I feel as though they’re moving away from me and like I’ll become obsolete.

My mental illness makes me feel like an outsider with the people I love the most. I tell myself by being distant and putting on a show, I am protecting them. At the end of the day it is just my mental illness telling me that the best way not to suffer anymore than I already am is to put walls up. It isolates me. Belittles me. Makes me into someone I’m not. It constantly chips away at all the positive reinforcement that my friends give me. I let it take so much away from me but I always hope and wish with every fiber of my being that I’ll never get to the point where I will let it strip me of my friends. I don’t want it to strip me of the love I’ve been given.

It is difficult to keep my friends close. It is difficult to say “please stay, I don’t want to be alone.” It is difficult to have to explain to them that I have this little voice in my head that never shuts up. It constantly says “don’t answer the phone, leave the text and emails unread. Curl up with Netflix because you will forever be alone. You were meant to be alone. You are weak. You are unlovable.”