#tw divorce

[normalbike]

Guys i was talking about how i was afraid to even step into a spencers gifts and a friend called me weak and told me his parents brought him in one all the time when he was a kid, was me saying “christ no wonder they divorced” the wrong reaction?

[starseneyes]

I Don't Miss My Kids

Okay... Okay. I do miss them. They're my kids!

But I've realized something the last few times my mother has taken my kids for a night, or I've gone out of town—I don't miss them like I did when I was married.

I would hold back tears looking at their rooms when my Mom took them for a night.

Akin to how my Mental Health Walks started as a way to get out of this house, I've realized that ache for my kids was because I would rather spend time with them than my ex.

I dropped off my kids a few hours ago with my Mom for the night. It's a cousin sleepover with all five of the Eldest cousins hanging out and having a great time.

Me? I'm excited to have a date night with a girlfriend for sushi!

One of my goals is to go out every time the kids aren't here. That might seem strange, but I work from home. I'm alone in this house every workday.

So, getting out of the house is key to building my new life as Rachel and not just "Mama". Not just a freelancer chained to her computer. I need to live, damnit!

It's amazing how much you can see clearly once you're free.

Loves, trust me when I say it's worth it. Go build a life you love.

[starseneyes]

Companionship. Not Completion.

I realized something funny today—I used to get flirted with all the time. Pre-pandemic, we went out to dinner fairly often.

My ex's parents were in better health, so they'd sit at the house while the kids slept and we'd go out. It pissed my ex off so much that almost every server flirted with me.

It was harmless. It was silly flirting. But he took it as a personal assault.

When we first split, he read through the Separation Agreement I presented him with and found the "Dating Clause" that my particular lawyer included.

"So, I presume there's someone else!?"

Dude. Demisexual, one-to-one relationship girlie. Hell, no.

But as I approach the final countdown to the end of this marriage, it struck me that one day I may have use for that clause. And that was as incredible a thought as it was terrifying.

I've reconciled that I'll likely be alone forever. It's one of those things that I've accepted.

Because it's not about having a man to "complete" me, or whatnot. I'm content in who I am. I'm happy with who I am. I don't need anyone else to validate my love for me. I love me.

But, at the same time, I recognize that this is the dream point to meet someone—a person who will walk alongside you on this thing called "life."

A partner. A real and true partner. The thing I realized I never had.

I am a complete and whole person. I'm not looking for some "other half."

The universe may send someone my way who's really incredible. I may spend the rest of my life completely alone. Or, maybe it'll be something in between. Who knows?

But I'm thankful that if I meet someone once all this is finished... I'll be the most me I've been in my entire life. Whole. Complete. Me.

[permapony]

19: A fact about your personality

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

24: My relationship with my parent (s)

30: What I hate the most about work/school

19 : umm umm.... i have bipolar 2?

21 : physically, my eyes (^_^) idk other than that

22 : comic book artist or writer,,,

24 : im very close with my mother, always have been. im close with my dad too and we've def gotten closer since my parents told me they're getting a divorce

30 : deadlines!! i do have a 504 plan, so there's some leeway

[jamm3rz]

the best way to describe my parents is toriel and asgore if they didn’t get a divorce but desperately needed to

[bovidae-s]

I got an alternative haircut and now my hair is like a child of divorce who developed different personalities for each parent

[sharks-are-better-than-people]

sometimes i think my parents relationship is getting better and then an hour later i am genuinely worried they’re about to get a divorce

what is this man?? 😔🥀

[starseneyes]

She Decided... to LIVE.

I saw this sign a long time ago and something about it resonated. But, I wasn't ready to purchase. It wasn't time, yet. It didn't ring true, yet.

A few weeks ago, my daughter lost one of her favorite enamel pins at Pride. I hopped onto Etsy to look for a replacement. Yes, I found it and she'll be getting it as part of her birthday.

I hadn't been on Etsy for a long time, so I went through my Favorites.

Sitting in there was this sign (that they sent me two of due to a printing mishap):

It's true, now, y'all. I decided to live... to live the life I'd dreamed.

It's not too late for you, love. It's not!

I'm 42. This August would've been 23 years with my ex. We met when I was 19 and married when I was 23.

And when I was 41 I finally said, "Enough!"

I dreamed of a life of joy. I dreamed of a life of happiness. I dreamed of a life I loved.

Now, I'm living it.

Is it perfect? No. I'm still building my new life. But almost a year in, I'm so far from where I was.

And it started by deciding to make my dreams my reality. You've got that in you, too.