#dnd shitpost

[mistyjaeart]

me after every dnd session:

[tinkerbitch69]

The differences between caster classes explained

Wizard: I cast testicular torsion!

Sorceror: I also cast testicular torsion but I use my meta magic to twist it, flip it and reverse it

Warlock: I asked my sugar daddy to cast testicular torsion

Cleric: I asked god to cast testicular torsion

Druid: I asked nature to realign your testicles in an uncomfortable but still natural position

Bard: I owned you so hard your balls just did that

Artificer: I designed a device specifically for the twisting of testicles

[peacefulcat]

I refuse to explain myself

[enchanted-by-the-reaper]

“live laugh love” no. divine smite.

[lockhinge]

DM: You cast Sunbeam, but one of the mind flayers saved with a nat 20. Player: Whoa, that dude had sunglasses?? Cool Mind Flayer: You all laughed at me!!

[jupiter-juniper]

Me, on a bus in a corner of England: Incredible. This is just like legendary Dragon Master Katie Marovitch of Dropout fame tells it. So lifelike. So vivid

[barbaricjester]

I call this "My Trifecta of Elf Dads Who Should Explore Each Other's Bodies"

[yinnyguardian]

So if a Mimic mimics items and corpses are considered items... Could a Mimic technically mimic a corpse of like a barbarian or something?

Cause if so I'm imagining like this mimic in a dungeon and it's a corpse or something and it just sees a team approaching right? And it's like "Oh boy food!"

And then it freezes in realization.

The team has a fucking Necromancer.

And now I'm imagining it from the team's side just like this Necromancer like "Oh boy an undead slave!!!" and like tries to revive it only for it not to do anything.

Or it does because the Mimic realizes it has to play along LMFAO