◇ Click here to read on AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 ◇
Donnie follows his suspicions, this time he asks some questions and gets some answers.
TW: Mentions of character death. Some self loathing, but not too deep (ha, unintentional pun).
Donnie got up from his chair suddenly, face not revealing any emotions. He turned around and headed to one of the three rooms connected to his lab. While his brothers were talking loudly, Leo and Mikey trying to explain what was going on to Raph, April followed Donnie.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
“The files are removed.” He answered without looking, his eyes were focused on the doors.
“What?” She exclaimed.
“I have an idea who has them, though.” Donnie explained.
April looked towards the doors. Realization flashed on her face as she understood.
Before she said anything, Donnie turned to look at her. “It would be better if you stayed here. I want to have a private talk with him.”
“Okay, but if I hear shouting I am getting in.” She stated, stopping in her tracks.
He nodded as he continued walking. Then he opened the doors, entered the room, and closed them.
The room was small, lit with a dim light. It was painted purple, and inside it were many small gadgets mostly suitable for small robots and drones. There were small neon details too. Similar to his lab, except it was completed unlike it. A perfect room for Shelldon.
Shelldon, who had taken the files.
How could Donnie not guess this? Of course, Shelldon would find a way to get through his security system and reach the files! He knew that Shelldon wouldn’t listen to him, he should’ve been more careful!
He saw the ‘bed’ that Shelldon was lying on. “Shelldon, I know you are awake.”
There was no reply.
“Shelldon,” Donnie repeated. “We have to talk.”
Shelldon slowly turned his head towards Donnie, “Oh, uh, hey dude.”
“Did you take the recording files?” He needed this sorted out as soon as possible. “Because it is past midnight and there is no one else that is capable of doing that.”
He didn’t answer at first. Then, “Leo would’ve taken them if I didn’t.”
Donnie raised a brow, “What?”
“I watched the security cameras, he came to the lab yesterday too.” He explained.
Donnie wasn’t expecting that. What was Leo doing in his lab? Was that why he was in his lab tonight, waiting for them? This meant more questions than answers, and Donnie didn’t like this at all. He had to think about that later though, “But you didn’t take them because of him, right?”
He almost missed the nod Shelldon gave. New question: Why was Shelldon so quiet?
He knew the answer but didn’t want it to be true. The simple idea of Shelldon changing as well scared Donnie. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want Shelldon to know everything, for him to have the emotional scars from them just like the rest of his family.
Unlike tech, he couldn’t heal scars caused by bad memories.
Yet, he asked the question:
“Did you watch them?”
Another quiet nod. Donnie felt like he was going to throw up again.
“I told you that you couldn’t watch them.” Donnie glared. He didn’t mean to sound harsh, but he wasn’t feeling good about this.
“I know.”
“Then why did you watch them?” This didn’t make any sense. (Except it did, because logic explained it all, but Donnie ignored it, just for this once.)
“I was curious.” Shelldon replied.
“I thought you knew that you should listen to me no matter what.” Donnie said.
“I am sorry.” His voice cracked.
Donnie only once had heard his voice crack.
He suddenly stopped talking and looked at Shelldon carefully. Examining the drone, he noticed how he had curled up as if trying to hug and comfort himself. How hurt he looked. Scared. Just like that time a long while ago, when he lost him for the first time against the feral Shredder they fought.
Shelldon looked like a little vulnerable kid.
Oh.
“How… how much of it did you watch?” Donnie asked, now slower.
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” Shelldon asked back, confirming Donnie’s fears. He knew about the truth of what happened to him, and what Shredder did to him.
“I didn’t think you needed to know about it.” He explained. “It was bad enough the first time. You didn’t need to relive it again.”
“This doesn’t make it better.” Shelldon said, obviously trying to hide his hurt.
“Yes, it doesn’t.” Donnie admitted. Then he sat next to him. “...I am sorry.” Shelldon shifted to see him better, surprised to hear him apologize. Donnie continued, “I didn’t want you to know any of this. It was bad. Really bad, and this doesn’t make it any better either.” He sighed. He felt like he was rambling, but he was trying his best. Maybe he was doing a bit better than before thanks to Doctor Feelings though. “But I just didn’t want you to get hurt too.”
Now fully turned towards him, Shelldon looked ashamedly to the ground. “I am sorry too. For taking the files… and watching them.” He apologized. “You are right. They are bad.”
Donnie smiled, opening his arms. Shelldon accepted the comfort immediately, hugging him.
After a while, he whispered. “Thanks for kicking Shredder’s butt.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“...I’m sorry for Gram-Gram. I wish I could’ve helped.”
“You did amazing there, Shelldon. She would be proud of you, just like I am.” Donnie said, repeating the words his father had said months ago. He ignored the bittersweet sadness he felt. He wished that they could’ve saved Gram-Gram, but at least she was happy and reunited with her father now. Thanks to Ninpo, they knew this.
“And maybe you are right about the end of the world being not cool too.” Shelldon added.
“Glad we agree.”
“These gumheads were too disgusting.” He said.
“Definitely.”
Another silent moment. Shelldon was quick to fill it though, “Hey Donnie,”
“Yes?” Donnie replied.
“Thank you.”
Donnie leaned back to look at him, confused. “Why?”
“I... uh... for keeping me around.” Shelldon avoided looking at Donnie again.
“What?” Donnie couldn’t understand what Shelldon could mean by these words.
“You could’ve built something better than me. Something stronger and better at protecting, I bet you got awesome ideas after seeing Casey Jr.’s tech too---”
“Wait. What are you talking about?” He held Shelldon so that the drone could see at him.
Shelldon answered with a quiet voice, “I have failed you twice now.”
Donnie’s eyes widened as he understood what was going on. “Shelldon, you did not fail.”
“I did. It is facts, the evidence is in the footages.”
“You know that is not true, right?” Donnie retorted. “Shelldon, you did what you could, and you are still growing, learning, and improving. You don’t need to be replaced. You are my boy, and you did incredible things. I would never ever replace you.” He said every word with determination, genuinely believing everything he told, and hoping Shelldon understood that.
Shelldon looked at him with big eyes, “Do you really mean all of that?”
“I really really mean every word I said.” He confirmed. “Two ‘really’.”
Shelldon seemed to beam at that, hugging Donnie again. He gladly returned the hug.
It could’ve been another comforting silence moment, but the shutting from the lab interrupted all of it. “Not even a half hour and they’re acting like animals. Incredible, yet not surprising.” Donnie huffed as he and Shelldon broke the hug.
Donnie headed to the door, with Shelldon following him. Since he and Shelldon had talked it out, now he had something else to focus on and solve. Why did Leo want the recordings?
Sooooooooo I made a Donnie angst thing because rando motivation. I have some good ideas for this, so stick around if you're interested!
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Chapter 1: Krang
The tendrils swallowed him, pulling him under the writhing mass of krang flesh. The feeling in his limbs faded, his mind fuzzy. What happened in seconds felt like hours, the connection of the ship to his mind. He wasn't just linking to it, he was the ship.
He could hear Mikey call his name, though he hadn't fully connected. Still, he could see his brother, could move the ship, could feel the energy of the enormous vessel.
"I am a spaceship!"
He began inacting the plan, manipulating the ship. The technodrome started through the portal. Then, a huge yellow eye glared at him, radiating disgust. Before Donnie could think, Krang Prime snatched him from his control, launching him from the panel.
Right before he was ejected, visions assaulted his senses. He could see millions of worlds destroyed, blood and carnage as far as the eye could see. He could hear the screams, the terrified panic of the inhabitants. He could smell the ash, the fear, the blood.
Most of all, he could feel the hatred. The overwhelming sense that he was inferior; that his family, his world, his existence, was disgusting, and that it deserved to burn.
When he was tangled in the vines, everything was going wrong. He could see his brothers, Leo fighting Raph, Mikey caught like him, Raph's slimy pink additions. His twin was losing, every swipe one inch closer to home. Leo's words weren't reaching their big brother. Finally, Raph's tentacle wrapped around Leo's neck. Still, he kept talking, kept trying get Raph back.
When he snapped out of it, a red burst of energy flowed into the room, the power startling them all. For a second, things were looking up. Then Leo was snatched, caught up in the same trap they were.
The rough, black tendrils pressed into his shell and skin, threatening to take over. He was starting to drown.
The only thing that kept him afloat was his brothers. He felt Raph's ninpo, tugging him back to the surface. Leo followed, their power surging through him. He and Mikey joined, breaking out of their spiney prisons.
It was payback time.
....
Back at the lair, everyone needed medical attention. Raph's eye was jacked, Leo was a walking bruise, Mikey's hands were cracked and burned, and Donnie's shell was a mess. Splinter tried his best to treat thier wounds, but Leo was the closest thing to a medical expert they had.
Leo had tried helping, but Splints shoved him back onto a recovery bed. He had a cracked shell, bruised ribs, multiple broken arm bones, and many cuts and bruises. The old man followed medical books' instructions for casts and stitching, patching up his Baby Blue as well as he could.
Mikey had burn salve and bandages all along his arms. Raph had an eyepatch and some bandages on his shoulder. Raph took care of their wounds, trying to keep his dad's focus on Leo. Casey was going around the room, taking turns helping each brother.
Donnie was a different story. He wouldn't, couldn't talk. He signed what he needed to. He had cuts in intricate patterns all along his soft shell, ranging from super shallow to over an inch deep. April was in charge of cleaning his shell, with some knowledge from her quarter-long medical class. It burned, and they had to take breaks between each section. Finally, it was time for staples.
Casey had the most knowledge of the process, having used a medical stapler quite a few times on his turtles. He had to be sedated, the small needle piercing his skin with a pinch. The cool liquid did its job, and he felt himself slipping. It was a familiar feeling, his limbs slowly fading from his control, his mind getting foggy. Before he could panic, he was unconscious.
