I always see posts about elves having sensitive ears. BUT WHAT ABOUT DWARVES??? their ears are big as FUCK and you're gonna tell me they're normal? no thank you
Anyways here are my Kili headcanons
Race wise, you are literally anything but a dwarf (bc its more fun that way)
It all begins when you are simply trying to help him out
You saw a long strand of hair in his face and did the sweet thing of putting it behind his ear
What you didn’t expect was to hear his breath hitch with you doing so
He looked up at you with a bewildered look before smirking
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Do you really not know?” His smile grew of course
“Know what?”
He got closer and whispered “how sensitive dwarf ears are”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Like anyone EVER you wanted to play with this knowledge
A while later you came back up to him
He was practicing his shooting so you snuck up behind him
You pulled all the hair that had fallen in-front of his ear, behind them
You let the tips of your fingers graze the top of his ear
His breath unsettled again and he shut his eyes
The arrow shot out of his hand and far off from his target on the wall
“What are you doing to me amrâlimê”
He threw the quiver off his shoulder and his bow down
He turned to you and placed his hands on your waist
Some Dwarf headcanons, since they're extremely underrated and deserve more love. (And lore)
I imagine them to be humanoid, but at the same time, very creature-like. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of them just being like Marvin from Looney tunes and straight up having a pitch black face, but I wanted to play with something different. :>
They have thin fur but it does very little to protect them from the cold.
They have night vision and are nocturnal.
They can see very well in warm light, but struggle seeing shades of green.
They regularly visit floor 100 to keep up their ancestors' tradition of Lava eel fishing.
Speaking of lava eels, I'd like to imagine they eat them whole, like that one quote from the Canon-Friendly Dialogue Expansion mod.
They can survive in insanely hot temperatures and are relatively unharmed by lava, but they struggle a lot during Winter.
They are ectothermic or 'cold-blooded', their internal body temperature is similar to that of a reptile, hence why they're especially uncomfortable with cold temperatures.
Winter is actually when their kleptomania is at its highest peak. Due to the scarceness of supplies and foregables and their need to eat a lot more to keep up their body warmth.
They sleep very little and can't hibernate, so instead they have to rely on eating a lot more food than usual, since they burn energy insanely quickly.
Unlike shadow people, they become independent from their guardian a lot quicker. They mature quicker too, but they live significantly shorter. (Still about 20 times longer than a human though.)
They used to keep many stonefish pets throughout centuries, but gave up on raising them after the 53rd one died. (Yeah those don't exactly live very long...)
They were created in a laboratory, which soon thereafter came to ruin. – They don't remember anything of this time and don't know the whole story of their origins.
They're one of the youngest living members of their species.
They of course consume minerals on regular basis; those are very rich in elements which Smoluanu require to survive.
To be able to easily break open said minerals, their teeth are extremely sharp. Almost as hard as diamonds, although they don't use them very often and would rather grind them up with tools.
Their bone structure is at least 5 times harder than that of a human, except for their skull, which is their only true weak point. Hence why they only need to wear protection for their heads.
They have rat-like paw-pads on both their hands and feet to protect them from rough terrain, though they chose to wear clothes over them.
Part of the reason why Smoluanu wear clothes and helmets is to disguise themselves from their enemy. No shadow fiend has ever seen a Smoluanu without their disguise, or so they say...
If it were to come to that a Smoluanu has been spotted without their helm by a void spirit, they would immediately have to kill them. If it was a group of brutes however and they were cornered, they'd be forced to blow both themself and their enemies up.
Dwarf has been collecting the helms of their fallen brothers and sires and keeping them on a shelf as mementos and as a sign of respect for them. They sometimes bring tokens, which remind them of the fallen person and place them inside their helm.
They hope that one day, they'll be able to recover the lost secrets of their ancestors' technology. That's why they appreciate when the Farmer gives them artifacts. It makes them feel closer to their ancestors' history and adds another puzzle piece to their theory about them.
For now though, they like to tinker and make small gadgets, usually nothing as ambitious as Maru, but they sure are trying. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Author's Note: My first one of these headcanons... I had a lot of fun with it and I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did!
Balin
Balin is a busy man, almost always working; but still delivering excellent work, everything for the good of the kingdom
His secret you may ask, a good night's sleep, something he valued above all else
Another secret to his great performance at work was a nice filling breakfast that would get him through a large part of the day
So when the elves came for some negotiations and his usual routine was all over the place you felt sorry for the man, but there was little you could do other than just being there for him
Something that you noticed wasn’t easy to do; he went to bed after you, waking up before you
So when, after a few weeks, you got the news the negotiating was over you were excited, maybe even more so than Balin, he still needed to take care of the aftermath after all
When he was finally done however and he could get the first proper night of sleep in a while you decided to bring him breakfast, or brunch, in bed the following morning, showing how proud you were
You might have been mistaken, but you were almost sure you saw a tear wanting to escape his eye at the sight of you with some delicious food.
Bifur
Bifur had been out working all day, here in the Blue Mountains his work required much longer days than yours seemed to do
However, you knew your dwarf had a day off tomorrow just as you, a day you had been secretly looking forward to
You admired his consistent hard work, and the way he never seemed to complain about it, not taking it for granted
You wanted to show him how much you cared, wanting to do something for him even if it was something as simple as a nice little breakfast.
That night he came home with sore hands, among other things, which you gave a nice little massage as he sat down to relax
Before you had put the candles out you had sternly told him he was going to sleep in the following morning, that he wasn’t allowed out of bed before midday, something he quickly accepted with a nod of his head
He did just as he said he would the next morning, staying in bed, resting as he lay there
Meanwhile you had gotten out of bed, something he grumbled about, not understanding why you wouldn’t stay in bed with him and rest when you were forcing him to do that exact thing
The frustration quickly left him at the sight of you with a tray full of your absolutely delicious cooking, something he always looked forward to when working; loving everything you put on the table.
Bilbo
It was Bilbo’s birthday, a day on which you wanted to pamper him a little, something he never really allowed
He liked doing things himself, because of his stubbornness about matters of the house you had to explicitly tell him; to stay in bed and not come out until you had awoken him
The next morning you had quickly found he had obeyed your orders
Where he was usually up and running; making breakfast for you in the morning when you awoke he was now sitting up and enjoying a book when you did
When you had asked him how long he had been awake for you got a vague answer that told you it was a while but not long enough for his stomach to start rumbling
You had made quick work of getting dressed
Giving him a quick kiss as you made your way out of your bed chambers, a ‘don’t be long’ following after you
You had shaken your head in fond annoyance
As you had made your way to the kitchen you made his vast birthday breakfast in a record time, as you would call it
When you made it back to your bed chambers Bilbo’s first reaction was; ‘I’ve almost finished my book’
But you could tell by the smile on his lips that he loved your gesture
When you placed the tray on his lap, he kissed you ‘Thank you love, it looks delicious’.
Bofur
Bofur had a date with a few friends of his, had told you and you were more than fine with him being away for a night, out having fun
It was always impossible to keep him from a party as he was the party
It did mean he came home drunk every once in a while, today wasn’t any different as you heard him almost barging through the front door from your place in your bed
Not much later he burst into your bedchambers ‘There she is, the beauty,’ he said, walking over to your side of the bed and kissing your temple as a smell of alcohol came from his form
‘Go to sleep lass,’ he mumbled, before kissing your temple again
He walked back to his side, starting to strip before giving up halfway and letting himself fall onto your bed
Snores could be heard in a matter of minutes and you chuckled as you put him under the blanket before going to bed yourself
In the morning you woke him up with the nice smell of a good breakfast, something he could handle with all the liquor he consumed
He let out a groan as you helped his hair out of his face after having put the tray down ‘Eat it, you’ll feel better,’ you said, kissing his forehead
As you stood up and turned to walk away he grabbed your hand
Looking at him you could see him looking back ‘Stay, feed me,’ he spoke with a pout it didn’t take more than a second of contemplation before you sat down.
Bombur
The man always knew how to take care of you, especially if it came to providing you with delicious food to fill your stomach
You were incredibly grateful for it, how could you not be when your stomach never seemed to growl for too long
The need to repay him was always there however, you wanted to show him your gratitude instead of just speaking the words
Luckily for you the dwarf liked his sleep almost as much as he liked his food
This gave you the perfect opportunity for an early morning in which you could prepare him the most delicious breakfast your cooking skills could provide him
Cooking skills you were happy to say you had, maybe they weren’t as satisfactory as your husband's, but they were sure to give him a great start to his day
Right you were, you couldn’t contain your happiness at seeing the smile appear on his face when he saw you walk into the room with the tray you had prepared
You made him sit up before carefully placing the tray in his lap
A kiss you’d planted on his temple before taking place next to him on the other side of the bed, watching him enjoy your creation
Dori
Dori liked luxury and he liked it even more when he could share said luxury with the people he loved
He cared deeply and always wanted to make sure that fact was shown
This time you wanted to return the favour, make him a nice elaborate breakfast with his favourite tea
It wouldn’t be that hard of a task, as the dwarf liked to sleep in, get his beauty sleep; not too long though because there were still things to do and his day needed to be efficient
So the next morning you rose with the sun, he was a surprisingly heavy sleeper so he didn’t notice a thing as you left the bed and started working in the kitchen, even accidentally letting a spatula fall off the counter
A few heart attacks later and you had a perfect little breakfast prepared for him
The only thing left to do was make his tea, which was what you were doing when you heard him wake up in your chambers
You quickly made your way there, halting at the door and telling him to stay as he was already removing his blankets
The kettle could be heard screaming and he raised an eyebrow before doing as you told him
Not much later you were pouring the tea and making your way over to your chambers once again, only this time with tray in hand
When you walked through the door a smile showed on Dori’s face ‘What do I have to thank this service for?’
‘For being so loving, I just wanted to do something for you’
‘You know you did not have to,’ he said, his eyes full of love as he looked at you.
Dwalin
Dwalin had night watch, luckily not late enough for him to go to bed once you were out already, but at times still too late for your liking
It was part of his job, keeping watch, and you respected his work just like everyone else did, at times it did feel a bit unfair
Whenever he returned to your shared bed so late he tried to be as silent as possible, not wanting to wake you from your slumber, but he always failed
You were always there to say goodnight, giving him a kiss and cuddling into his side as he finally closed his eyes
There was a moment though when a thought crossed your mind; he was taking such good care of you and not just you but the kingdom as well
You wanted to thank him in a way and you couldn’t think of a better way than pampering him with your excellent cooking skills
Like always when he had night watch, he slept in, only having to show up at work early midday
So when you got up, you got dressed, kissed him atop of his temple while he was still vast asleep and went to work
You loved what you were doing, and like always time seemed to fly
It wasn’t long before Dwalin’s brunch was done and you heard him waking up in your bedroom
You walked in through your already open bedroom door; ‘Morning sunshine,’ you spoke as you put the tray on his bedside table, massaging him awake
‘Morning,’ came the response
He spotted the tray, his eyes lighting up; ‘For me?’
Fili
Fili didn’t have many days off, but he did have a free morning every once in a while, in which he liked nothing more than to lay in bed together, cuddled up with you
These lazy mornings were his favourite thing, something no one dared interrupt, because they knew the reaction they would get in response
So there you were laying in his arms soaking in his warmth, when you were interrupted, something Fili usually did not like at all
However, this time Fili was the reason for the interruption as his stomach growled, breaking the silence out of nowhere
You snorted at the sound; ‘Are you hungry?' you asked looking up at him to see his sheepish smile
‘Not really,’ he replied pulling you closer against him
‘Wait here,’ you said struggling a little to get out of his hold, ‘I’ll be back soon,’ you said as you saw his pout
You made your way to the kitchen, quickly putting together a nice little breakfast before almost rushing back
When you appeared in the doorway the smile you were met with made it all worth it
‘Come here,’ he said, waving you over
You gave him the tray as you made yourself comfortable on your bed, not wanting to drop anything
When you finally settled down he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, kissing your temple with a ‘Thank you’ as you started eating.
Gloin
Gloin’s birthday was finally around the corner and you had been able to negotiate with your son to let his father sleep in for a bit
In this time he would wake only you in a way that wouldn’t wake his father, which wasn’t hard for he was the complete opposite of a light sleeper
Together you’d prepare Gloin a hearty breakfast, that would make him feel like a king
Because you weren’t alone preparing the breakfast you’d assume it would come around a bit quicker, but it didn’t
You loved your son to bits, loved doing these kinds of things together even if it slowed you down, it made it a bit more special
When it came to just the finishing touches, you told the boy to clean up so you could surprise Gloin
Not much later you were following your son as he barged into your bedroom where Gloin was still sleeping soundly, how, you honestly did not know
Your boy jumped atop his sleeping form, quickly waking him from his beauty sleep and he let out a yelp
‘Don’t do that to me boy, you know how weak your Adad’s heart is’
You laughed at the display as you sat down on the other side of the bed, with breakfast in hand
‘Well apparently your heart is strong enough to let you survive another year and enjoy your delicious birthday breakfast’
‘Oh woman, as if I couldn’t love you any more than I already did,’ he told you as he leaned over to kiss you, your son still clinging to his back.
Kili
Kili had gone sick, food poisoning was the cause
You felt bad for him truly, taking care of him, but you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing when he acted like a whiny baby
An act you knew it was as he tried to convince you to stay by his side, not wanting you to leave him for even a second
You were slightly concerned for his well-being, not just because of the food poisoning, but also because he almost refused to eat, probably scared it would become worse
In the morning you left while he was sleeping, preparing a nice breakfast perfect for a sick individual, hoping you could finally get him to eat something
When you returned to his room he was already up and you could see slight betrayal in his eyes, which had quickly gone when he smelled the food you were carrying
Even though he didn’t want to eat he could still very much appreciate the smell of food and your goal was to let him appreciate the taste as well
When he raised an eyebrow, as to ask you why you even bothered when he probably wouldn’t eat more than one spoon anyway you answered; ‘I made it with a special ingredient I know you’ll like, love’
He let out a snort, but didn’t resist when you held a spoonful of broth in front of his mouth, eating it without second thought
His eyes lit up when he did and he let you feed him almost all of it, telling you he loved you when it was all finished.
Nori
Nori had gone out drinking with some friends, you had an opinion on the matter, but he was of age so who were you to tell him no
When you felt him falling onto your bed next to you in the middle of the night you sat up, and almost laughed out loud when you heard him snoring within seconds
You had gotten up wrapping a robe around your body before helping the sleeping dwarf out of his clothes
He had at least the decency to pull off his shoes when getting into your room, his brain subconsciously protecting himself from you
It was adorable how he of all dwarrow was scared of a single dwarrowdam, who liked to keep her home tidy, but he grew up with Dori so it made sense
Then and there is where you decided to make sure he had a nice way to wake up with that headache you were sure would come
That morning he woke up just as she had predicted and he’d always done after a night out; groaning with a raging headache
Luckily for him you existed and came in just in time to save the day with a perfect after-drinking breakfast
When you came in he groaned, the smell of the food overwhelming him ‘Gosh woman, what is that?’
‘Your breakfast, it’ll help with your predicament,’ he turned to look at your form walking up to him
‘Anything coming from you will, I’ll definitely be enjoying it.'
Oin
Oin had been up most of the night, taking care of one of his patients and because of that coming to your bed late
You couldn’t be frustrated with that fact as he was saving lives most days, just like he had done that night
He was always apologising when he was called for work, not liking leaving you alone at home when he was supposed to be free
Pride is the only thing you felt though when he was called because they needed him; yes at times it was lonely, but you mostly felt pride
The only thing you could think of doing to try erasing his doubt was showing him how much you appreciated his care and wanting to help people
So the next morning you woke up a little earlier than usual and made your way to the kitchen, quickly getting to work
Preparing a nice breakfast on which he could survive the coming day, knowing he had to get up early it was the least you could do
So not that much later you made your way back to your bedroom, setting the tray down on your dresser, letting him sleep for as long as possible
You got dressed in the meantime, in these moments you were glad he didn’t have the best of hearing, meaning he could sleep in peace
Sadly it did increase his other sense and he soon woke up from the delicious smell wafting through the room
‘What’s that delicious smell?’
‘It’s for you,’ you said bringing it over to a grinning dwarrow.
Ori
Ori was sick, stuck in bed with a fever and you hadn’t dared leave his side as you didn’t think his cough sounded too well
He had insisted he was fine on numerous occasions, that there was nothing for you to worry about and that you didn’t need to stay as he knew how busy you were
You stayed persistent though until he threatened you, not wanting to see you when he would wake up from his nap
Not wanting to anger the little dwarrow you made sure not to be there when he woke up, instead going to your kitchen to make him a nice little broth to help him overcome his sickness
Taking your time you made it as delicious as you possibly could
While starting to put it nicely on a tray you could hear him awaken he whispered ‘She finally listened. Couldn’t have her going sick as well’
Cleaning your hands with a cloth and then the countertops before finally making your way back to your bedroom
You were surprised he hadn’t heard you or smelled your creation
When you walked through the door and looked at him you couldn’t even find any surprise in his features
You smiled ‘Did you sleep well?’ leaving your lips
‘Yes,' came the reaction, he didn’t even bother saying anything about the fact that you were still here
‘Smells absolutely delicious,’ he said as you put the tray down ‘Thank you.'
Thorin
The only reason you could give Thorin ‘breakfast’ in bed was because you had dragged him there in the middle of the night
You had gone to sleep and when you hadn’t found him next to you later on in the evening when you had suddenly woken up, you had rolled your eyes and made your way to his study
He was there as always, still working ‘as always’, if only the people knew how much dedication he showed as their king
In the morning you had ordered for him not to be disturbed, he needed the rest after all
Knowing he would be angry if you let him sleep for too long you had decided to awaken him with the delicious smell of brunch
It was your way of coaxing him out of his anger and besides; the man often forgot to eat breakfast if it wasn’t for you, finding his work of greater importance
It had worked, just like you had expected it to do; he was annoyed with you at first, frustrated with the fact you had let him sleep in when there was still so much to do
However, he hadn’t refused your food, which you saw as a massive triumph
You couldn’t help but find him adorable, eating with a frown on his face
When he was done you had smoothed said frown out with your fingers, kissing him there, before turning around to return the dishes
When you heard a soft thank you behind you, you smiled.
I'm deciding that Dwarves' eyes reflect in the dark based off of that one line in The Hobbit and also a couple bits of Unfinished Tales where it describes Mîm's eyes as having a sort of red glint to them.
I can't find anything that canonically states that Dwarves have better night vision, but it's a common enough fanon thing that I'm just going to accept it as canon, and therefore why their eyes glow.
Headcanon: dwarves like to be seen as strong so they pretend to really like spicy food but really if you give them anything even remotely spicy they freak out and go all red and start coughing but hobbits on the other hand have a ridiculously high spice tolerance.
For this fic I'm writing, I'll probably do another section on courtship and marriage but I think I got the most common ones/ most important ones out of the way.
And this way I still feel like I'm writing even if I'm not writing directly.
(The program I am using is Scapple, in case anyone is interested)
What do you think of the headcanons? Would you add anything to these?
