I'm really obsessed with the idea of detachment lately, especially in film, or I guess I have been for a long time. I rarely see disassociation represented through like the whole runtime of a film or short and I think its a bit underutilized. I think most films I've seen focus completely on on the relationship between light and sound, its only normal considering how films has developed over time, but there was a period where there was video created and then a sound to accompany it, like how there are loads of soundtrack interpretations to Meshes of the Afternoon . I think a middle ground can probably be possible where the absence of a relationship between light and sound is established before a connection can be, I'd want to make it develop overtime but never fully connect. Living with PTSD brings me interesting experiences overall, but definitely the most interesting is the constant detachment. Between defense mechanisms and gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, I'm almost never present in my own body. Feels like I'm in a dream state unless I put in the effort to be present in the moment. As such what I'm seeing and what my senses are experiencing are often very different from what I'm hearing and what I'm processing of the world around me. The experience of going nonverbal only exacerbates this. This has gotten me thinking about how I can represent this through film or music, as that's how I heal I think if I ever got actual funding for a second short film or managed to do it on my own budget in a while, this is what I'd develop. The idea that's been bouncing around in my head is two lovers hashing things out that they've been holding in for a while. They're in a small boat on a river, the sun is low in the sky, and they just let it all out. I wouldn't let the camera ever see them , I'd just have it focus on the boat, the boat and the sky and the shadows on the wall and the refractions from the sun light dancing on the ripples in the river. And the framing of the mast against the centre cabin. And the gentleness of the motion of the travel. And the blinding beams of light from the shipyard as we pass it. And the lapping of the waves against the hull. And the floorboards for a long while. The things I'd be looking at if I were there, but I'd always still be listening. and so would the viewer Id hope this is hardly the account to be posting this on but its too long to be putting on my twt and thats where people would get the urge to maladapt the idea in any case. I feel a bit safer posting here even though I'm probably breaking character. Or maybe this is still super in character to just start talking about this out of the blue. I don't think I know what my gimmick account is anymore! !! In any case, this might not be up for too long Lol
