#edinburgh freshers

[howtosurviveaphysicsdegree]

Catching up on lecture recordings I missed during the semester. This one, statics and dynamics!

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This was a cute place to study and an amazing mocha 😍 linear algebra note writing last Sunday

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Friday mornings Starbucks study set up ☺️

[howtosurviveaphysicsdegree]

Teaching block end!

So on Friday was my last day of lectures for the semester! Now it’s revision week then I’ve got my exams spread out between 9th December and 20th December so it’s likely to be a slightly boring couple of weeks. Here’s a little update of how I’ve found my modules this semester.

Physics 1A: probably my most enjoyable module, no surprises there given I study a physics degree so I do love the subject. I’ve got my coursework mark back (physics coursework is a combination of weekly reading tests, fortnightly written assignments and a class test we did). My overall (unmoderated) coursework grade is 92% which is an A1 grade (the gradings for Pre-Honours go from A1 down to A3 which are all Firsts, then B is a 2:1 and C is a 2:2)

Introduction to Linear Algebra: I’d say this is the most conceptually challenging course I’ve taken this semester, a lot of the concepts are new and it’s mainly vectors. I’ve definitely spend more hours on this than any of my other courses, because we’ve had 2 weekly reading quizzes, a weekly assessment, and a weekly hand in so if you get behind on just one of these it’s very hard to catch up. My advice to anyone thinking of taking this course is do everything as it comes so you don’t end up all stressed. My coursework mark for this was 97% (A1).

Astrobiology: this course is a bit out there, and it’s a mash up of all the sciences nd geology so it’s very hard to perform well on all of it as everyone has different strengths, and it’s kind of helped me overcome my obsession with wanting to do perfectly at everything. I haven’t got my coursework mark yet as they use your best 4/5 assignments and my 5th one hasn’t been marked yet and because I did badly on the first assignment I’m hoping my mark will go up. If I didn’t, my mark is at least 84%, which is an A2.

Best of luck to you all in your revision over the next few weeks if you have exams 🥰 I’m rooting for y’all!

[howtosurviveaphysicsdegree]

Taking a day off

Spending Saturday afternoon writing a blog post as I told myself I’m giving myself today completely off studying - I shall not touch a textbook today. I’ve been quite drained and stressed this week and I think it’s because I just haven’t been giving myself any days off or breaks longer than half an hour for a sandwich at lunch. So today I have just had a good old clean of my flat, scrubbed the sink, did some laundry, went for parkrun with my flatmate this morning, and have sorted out all the recycling bins. It sounds pretty standard but honestly I keep ignoring the “non critical” adulting tasks and it was making my flat a bit unpleasant lol with so many pieces of paper and notes strewn across the floor that I have finally taken the time to file. I’ve also spent some time reading my running magazine, and a popular science book (How To by Randall Munroe - i really recommend) as I’ve not spent much time reading (other than textbooks) recently and it’s something I really enjoy. I’ve become a lot more conscious of my use of social media and I’ve stopped just mindlessly taking out instagram whilst I’m waiting for the bus or whatever, and just taking those moments to occupy myself without just distracting myself with social media (this was prompted by listening to this podcast episode of The Deliciously Ella podcast - I love it!!) I do think I need to start committing myself to taking (at least) a full day off per week because otherwise I get far too caught up in work I forget what else I enjoy. Particularly from a place of suffering with anxiety for many years, sometimes you do end up getting so worked up about the little things, that you lose the reasons why you’re doing what you’re doing, for me I had been considering dropping out of my degree, but I realised that the reasons I was considering dropping out was from fear of not being good enough - which is a shit reason. I’ve just taken a step back and said to myself “No, you have as much of a right to be here as everyone else does. You study physics because you enjoy it, if you still enjoy it, which you do, then you should keep going”.

Highlights of this week were my maths lecturer buying me a hot drink and a cookie and having a nice long chat after I had a mini meltdown in maths workshop. It really made me feel a lot better, and, like, less terrified of my lecturers, because I’m damn scared of most of them.

Everyone’s still struggling quite a lot at the moment but I think we’re all starting to get there, as, well, we’re over 2/3 of the way through the semester now so we’ve got over the mid-semester hump, and so we’ve only got to hang on for a few more weeks until we go on revision week then exams, then Christmas!!!!! I’m already super excited for Christmas and hot chocolate and mulled wine and ahhhh cute lil Christmas trees.

I’m thinking of starting a 50 days of productivity (not 100 as I have Christmas break in the middle and I fully intend on NOT being productive and just enjoying the heck out of Christmas I won’t lie). I’m hoping to start either tomorrow or Monday!!!! :D 

How’s all your first semesters going??!

[howtosurviveaphysicsdegree]

A weekend break <3

Having a weekend at home after I had quite a meltdown this week. I’ve had a lot of insecurities at uni - everyone else just seems like they’re absolutely thriving, and I just feel like I’m really struggling with managing work and life and knowing how much is the right amount of work to do, and that everyone seems like they’re doing really well at the moment, academically and they all have vibrant social lives. As someone who suffers with social anxiety, I find it extremely difficult to adjust to things, to socialise with new people, to look after myself properly. I had a workshop on Thursday and I was very tired, and everyone else just seemed to understand absolutely everything that was going on, and I knew nothing! I ended up completely breaking down in tears in front of a workshop full of about 40 people, and I just grabbed my bag and did the one thing my anxiety always tells me to do - ran away. I honestly think I would’ve dropped out of my course there and then if it hadn’t been for the director of teaching / course organiser / lecturer who was in the workshop and saw what happened and knew something wasn’t right. He followed me out and stood in my way so I didn’t just leave in the state I was in. He listened to everything I said, and was so reassuring, literally saying that other people pretending they knew everything going on was “bullshit” and I couldn’t agree more. People cope with new environments in different ways, some people try to protect themselves by pretending they’re not vulnerable, they want people to think they know everything because they’re scared people will think they’re stupid, and I completely understand why people respond like that. But I am almost a polar opposite, I honestly will straight up say when I don’t understand something or when I’m stuck, but because so many people around me are acting as if they know it all, I do feel like the ugly duckling who is just a bit dumber than everyone else, and I’m struggling a lot. I feel very lucky that I’ve got such a good team of lecturers and tutors around me because the one who saw me on Thursday has sent me such a nice email and I’m going to see him next week to go through some stuff. I’ve been in a similar situation in maths workshops as well but not to the same level of breakdown because I’m high key terrified of everyone there so I’m actually too scared to show any sign of weakness as they’re all a lot smarter than me. I really am working on maths at trying to get better.

Nothing is as bad or as good as it seems it is at the time, and that’s what I’m starting to learn <3

[howtosurviveaphysicsdegree]

This year’s physics modules

Yesterday I had my meeting to formally enrol me in my courses and talk about options. I had the opportunity to choose direct entry to the second year of the degree, or just do the standard route. I hadn’t really thought about going into second year as I assumed my qualifications weren’t good enough (because on paper they weren’t) but I did start to think about it after my tutor suggested it. Thinking about my reasoning, I didn’t want to go through the intense stress that is settling into a new town, trying to do 2 years of work in 1 year, and managing the rest of my life, but there was part of me that was like “no, if he thinks I can do 2nd year, I should” but the only reason deep down I wanted to do second year is because it would “look” more impressive, and I was worried people would think I was ordinary, mediocre and boring if I stuck with the standard route. I am the kind of person who will push myself to the absolute extreme just to defy other people’s expectations of me, and my expectations of myself, just because I’m terrified of being boring and ordinary. But alas, today I decided that I’m going to stick with the conventional route, and give myself a proper year to find my work(study)/life balance, which is something I’ve been notoriously bad at. I will probably perform better in the long run having taking a year to fully understand the mathematics (and actually being able to take the more advanced modules in 2nd year).

I would go on and rant a bit more but I’ve been out climbing most the day and damn I’m shattered.

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The beginnings of uni

Today I was quite sickly in the heat so I came home from work early as it felt as if I was having an out of body experience whenever I stood up and felt like I was going to faint so I had a nap and then woke up and checked my uni account. i had a 90 minute maths test to do before I go to uni to “evaluate my weak spots and guide my mathematics module choice” aka if I did badly, they probably wouldn’t let me into the School of Maths courses.

It actually went really well - I got 86% and from what I’ve gathered from other people, most are around the 60-70% mark so I’m feeling a lot more positive about turning up to uni with lower maths grades than other people because I cocked up my A levels, but still a little concerned about whether the School of Maths will let me in as I need to do their 1st year modules to be able to do the applied maths and physics modules in subsequent years. Not bad for a sick day.

I’m actually starting to feel ready for uni :)