Sunday 05 July 2026 (11 48 pm 🙂)
Dying of cramps and failing to sleep.
I was thinking about university... And how, despite knowing how hard it would be to go abroad and study in a foreign country, all on my own, I still want to. I long for it.
Yes, I do want an escape from home. But that's not the only reason.
Going abroad feels like... a fresh start. There's just something so appealing about the concept of going to a place where no one knows who you are. No one who thinks "oh that's X's daughter" or "that's Y's older sister" -- instead, people would just see me and probably wouldn't even spare a thought. "Oh another student", "another foreigner".
I also like the concept of having that much independence. As a primarily sheltered kid, that's a lifestyle I've been wanting to have. Its funny because being at home means your parents still have that control over you... I find that each time I try to do something to benefit me, to improve myself, the minute my mom finds out about it, she tries to take control of it... And that leads me to be secretive of those things too. Even if I wasn't entirely raised to be able to, I think I'd be able to adapt to living on my own, managing my own money and studies and laundry and cooking and cleaning... I'll adapt. I'll survive. And Im confident I'll thrive.
I know I'll be homesick eventually, as everyone is, but I think one thing that would work to my advantage is my love for alone time. I genuinely enjoy spending time alone. I like keeping to myself, reading, watching shows, writing, studying... I like doing all those alone. I do enjoy my friends' presence but at a point I do get drained afterwards. (As you can tell, I'm a mega introvert haha) So spending time alone helps me recharge and reflect (and I can never get enough of it sadly😐✨)
Maybe I'm just complaining a lot..
But also, I do find myself in these spirals where I think about all the possibilities future me will be part of-- the future is full of unknown which is so scary yet exciting...
I think I'm just looking forward to exams being over... Just 4 more months and then it's over and I'll be free✨
Till then I shall work hard for those a stars ✨
T'was an odd rant.. idk if I should post these or if they're pointless... Let me know maybe?
And of course, if you stuck around till here, thank you buddy 🙂❤️ I hope my lil rant inspired you somehow.
If not, I hope my future rants will inspire you🙂