Genderqueer* characters in and around Aros Against Fate (mostly Empires Always Fall) because we need more genderqueer characters forever and ever
*used here as an umbrella term rather than as a specific identity, though some characters in this list do specifically identify as genderqueer as (part of) their gender identity
Halek (he/him, other pronouns if you’re close, does not favour she/her): A main character and a rebel. Vaguely-multigender genderqueer trans man (does not explicitly label the other genders).
Jue (ze/hir): A main character and the teenaged Younger Emperor of Rāmia. Jue is either a cis boy using neopronouns- which I would consider to fall broadly under the umbrella of genderqueer anyway- or ze is genderqueer-as-in-not-binary, or maybe ze’s not sure which. (As I write this I am coming to the end of this draft and starting to get into prep work for the next so lots of things have the opportunity to shift. I think I might go with hir not being sure and maybe identifying as genderqueer because of how broad it is, as was once the case for me.)
Sei (she/her to others, they/them to themself): A main character and a princess of Rāmia. Agender on the inside but they don’t want to live as zauzo (Feka third gender/gender category) and being a princess specifically is very important to them so they are okay with everyone else thinking of them as a woman even though they don’t think of themself as one (especially since most of the time they need to be explicitly reminded that other people see things differently than them at all, so they don’t really feel dysphoric about how other people see them; often it feels to them as if everyone knows they’re not really a girl but is playing along, or they forget that “princess” really is linked to “girl” for most people.) Functionally, their gender kind of is “Princess.” Sometimes they describe it as being a woman on the outside but no gender on the inside. It’s a little complicated to explain but Sei is an agender princess and both those words are entirely correct.
Kaelía (she/it): A main character and an Initiate at the Temple of Corysecli. Demigirl.
Zhe’ārani (she/her) for intimates/Ši Arroakhai Kjú (they/them) for everyone else: A main character and an Initiate at the Temple of Corysecli. She’s a girl in a transmasculine way.
Līs/Līsandyr/Līsyka (he/him -> they/he -> they/she -> they/he/she/xe/fae): Zhe’ārani’s friend and Kaelía’s best friend, and another Initiate at the Temple of Corysecli. Undertakes some exploration in the background throughout the course of the trilogy, and goes from identifying (using our terms) as a boy to a demiboy to a demigirl to multigender (demiboy + demigirl + genderless + libraxenic (spacegender; xe does explicitly connect xir gender to outer space even if xe doesn’t use that specific term and as the author I’m saying that xe’s a little bit spacegender)).
Qatriong (she/her to most people, then he/him to most people, always she/he to herself): Zhe’ārani’s best friend and another Initiate at the Temple of Corysecli. Bigender girlboy; initially keeps the boy part private (except for Zhe’ārani), and later when she has to go into hiding and switches how he presents keeps the girl part private, both times because she needs something just for himself and that is a secret that won’t get her killed.
Talí (they/any): Halek’s sibling. Agender kolgirl (“kolgirl” being a mix of/somewhere in between “girl” and the Beri third gender “kolman”).
Abhaonai (she/he): An Initiate at the Temple of Corysecli. Bigender manwoman.
Kjotar (he/they): An Initiate at the Temple of Corysecli. (Probably) A boy but very loosely so.
Miwaanii-Shémelús (gives he/him if asked but he's very apathetic about it): This is multiple people who share the same name and pronouns and all of them pretty much identify as “genderqueer quoiromantic male” (Se-Naskans consider gender to also include sex and orientation as not necessarily the same thing but inherently closely linked).
Ffeira (they/them): One of Ausse’s best friends & companions. Mixed-gender (one of the five Norve gender roles; in Ffeira’s case I think they truly are pretty much androgynous in identity.)
Kéchawaedrii-Orl (ze/hir): Head of Daanah’s religion. Holy-genderless (one of the five Norve gender roles).
Reymud (ze/hir): Divine Scribe. Holy-genderless.
Qeirana (ze/hir at work, he/him at home): A Norvic Senci Scholar who ends up working with Daanah. Holy-genderless in hir role as a scholar and a man in his personal life (in a way that both are true to who ze is in different ways).
Kwsnà (it/its): Halek’s therapist.
Logē (they/them): Divine Soldier at the Temple of Corysecli.
Onarys (they/he): Queng Consort of Rāmia annd Jue’s uncle’s spouse.
Attendant Ngeh (he/she): Door attendant at the palace. Bigender manwoman.
Ātia Jo (she/they): A Wend-Ki’an spy in the Rāmian government. Genderflux, genderqueer woman.
Eleyk (ey/em): Baby that Daanah and Rovian’s family is fostering for a neighbour. Norve children are assigned the gender of “child,” so Eleyk is not exactly any gender in eir own identity or expression (being, you know, a baby) but ey does not fit into the binary.
Fiya (ey/em): Ailít and Fiyavu Ozast’s (Daanah and Rovian’s sister’s) baby, born during Empires Always Fall. Same situation as Eleyk, with eir gender being explicitly and only “child.”
Juraji (xe/xem): Halek’s queerplatonic partner. Nonbinary with a strong sense of gender distinct from man/woman.
Veisau (ze/hir): Yna’s half-kester- Sei’s new kester-in-law- and a high commander in the Beri military. Kolman.
Representative Swkatsh (ae/aer): the elected representative of Ðíúharlaeslai in the imperial government.
Awlanír (they/them): Rovian’s manager.
Heishun (they/them): Sei’s sibling. Zauzo.
Jēn-Tajanē (they/he/she): Sei’s sibling. Genderqueer and loud about not being simply slotted into the zauzo “other” category but having both a more expansive and more specific gender than that.
Āvolú (they/them) for intimates or Toagh Rrušā Ndi (they/them) for everyone else: Zhe’ārani’s friend from home. Voidgender + neutrois + contigender + astrumgender.
Keha (they/them): Fiitsãn’s friend and possibly crush, whose story role for the upcoming draft I’m not quite sure of yet. May have accompanied Mkera from Kelos and become friends with Fiitsãn or might just be an old school friend.
Amidi (they/them): Halek’s neighbour and friend.
Ektanai (they/it): Halek’s good friend and former cellmate at the Moghrlai Gurodstadit Juvenile Confinement Centre and, by luck, also ends up being one of Rovian’s cellmates when she gets arrested late in (the next draft of) Empires Always Fall.
Lawmí (they/she): Ektanai’s current cellmate and becomes one of Rovian’s cellmates.
Åswså (ffe/ffer): Pilot Maaziariitna knows. Firegender.
The Historian (she/her to most, she/he to her wife): the official (and immortal) historian of the Rāmian empire. Her gender straddles the line between “masculine cis woman” and “transmasculine.”
Itheo (she/they): Halek’s friend, one of the other international students at his school in Meelasugaado.
Depa (it/its): Lieutenant of the Temple of Corysecli stationed in Moghrlai Gurodstadit, from Gētnyx’s cohort. Its gender is simply “Lieutenant of the Temple of Corysecli.” Where Kaelía first encountered it/its pronouns.
first-degree double homicide conviction notwithstanding Ektanai is not a very violent person and in fact prides themself to some degree on having been pretty much entirely nonviolent for the past five or six years and would feel bad about being violent. On the other hand they should absolutely get to beat that guard to death with a broken chunk of brick while screaming “fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU THAT’LL TEACH YOU TO KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS TO YOUR FUCKING SELF FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU-” at the top of their lungs and then throw up about it during the breakout and I’m not sure even Halek would be able to stop them.
Empires Always Fall Chapter Sixty-four: Halek: All Together
not to pleased with this just structurally, Halek kind of abandons the Actual Real Plot for a bit to deal with something else that's only kind of related, but. eh. it is what it is and I already know I'm going to shift things around a bit in this part next draft
content notices: friendship, queerplatonic relationship, illness, murder, explosives, fire, guns, secrets, war, state violence, prison, mentioned physical abuse, implied sexual abuse, mentioned/implied emotional abuse, death penalty mention, swearing, jealousy, touch, family, suicide mention
The city erupted after the mayor's murder. Talí and Juni had been right: everyone had loved her.
Halek stayed in, pacing nervously, until Juni and Ailít brought Juraji back. Xe was half-conscious and somewhat feverish, with blisters following the lines the magic had flowed through, but xe was alive and safe.
"You did well," Halek said, setting xir head on his pillow.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Really well. You protected a lot of people."
"Yeah? Told you I'd protect you…"
"You did." Halek nodded. "You protected me. Good job."
"'M not… feeling very well," Juraji mumbled. "My hands hurt."
"I know." Halek smoothed his thumb over Juraji's forehead. "It will pass. I'm going to give you something that should help, and then I want you to get some rest, okay? I have to go take care of something, but my family will look after you until I'm back, and it should only be for a few hours."
"You're leaving?"
Juraji sounded so hurt that Halek almost changed his mind.
"I'll be back before you know it," he promised. "I'm sorry. I have to. I'll try to get you some ice pops on the way back to help with the fever."
The streets were filled with people. He wasn't surprised to see Rovian among them, but he didn't expect to find her waiting right outside his house.
She flung her arms around him before he had a chance to process her presence.
He tensed up automatically, but slowly relaxed as his body recognized hers.
"I didn't want you to die thinking I didn't love you anymore," she said, awkwardly Touch-Talking against his back without loosening her grip.
Halek felt himself start to cry with almost no warning. He'd missed her so much.
Rovian started to cry too as he hugged her back.
They clung to each other like that for a long while. The car that had been watching his house was gone, probably called to some more urgent incident in this city-wide revolution; he had no need to hide.
"I'm scared I'll lose you and I won't be able to cope with another loss," Rovian Touch-Talked. Because of the way they were standing, all the touches were backwards, but Halek understood. "But after Ykseis- it didn't scare me any less because I stopped talking to you. It just made everything worse, that you could have died- or I could die- and you would have died thinking I didn't want to be friends anymore, you could lose me not knowing how much you still mean to me- I can't let that happen."
"I wish I could promise we would never lose each other," Halek Touch-Talked. "I'm sorry I can't promise to stay out of danger."
"There's no such thing as 'out of danger'," Rovian Touch-Talked. "I know that now. You could do everything right and they'll still kill you."
"I was going to make a speech to give all this some direction, but it seems like that's pretty well taken care of," Halek Touch-Talked. He couldn't make out the exact words of the chants with all the background noise, but the crowd was noticeably moving in the direction of the garrison. "Want to come with me?"
"Yeah." Rovian let her embrace drop and linked their free arms.
People were packed very tightly in the streets around the garrison. Someone had put a ladder right up against the wall and the gates had been broken down. Smoke poured from somewhere inside the compound.
Halek, for once, felt like they might win.
Misa and Ailít appeared by them. "Hey!" Misa called. "Halek! Do you smell the smoke?" He was grinning, though not in what Halek would necessarily call a happy way. "I did that! I did that."
"Looks like things are going pretty well, eh?" Ailít signed. She had a military-issue gun slung across her back.
Rovian squinted. "Where did you get that?" she signed.
The way she was focusing her eyes reminded Halek that he had to talk to her about the cataracts. He didn't know how expensive the surgery would be or how long the waiting list for it was. If he was going blind, Rovian knew what that was like.
"Took it off a soldier," Ailít signed. When Rovian's gaze moved off of her for a minute, she added to Halek, "Already dead when I got there. Nothing I could do even if I wanted to."
"Is that your cousin?" Rovian asked against his back. "I didn't know he knew Ailít."
Halek did a quick calculation. "He's involved in it too." The necessity of lying to her seemed minimal, now, and with the way Misa was boasting about setting off bombs, he wasn't exactly hiding it anymore either.
"Oh." Rovian frowned. "How many people I know have been…?" Her hands trailed off like she didn't know how to continue.
"I have no idea," Halek replied honestly. It felt good to tell her the truth for once. Well- almost the truth. He wondered if Saafeera had told her about her own involvement, or if she ever would. It wasn't really Halek's secret to tell, or his relationship to interfere in when Rovian wasn't in any danger, but he hoped Saafeera said something once it was safe to do so.
Ailít tapped his arm to get his attention back. "Halek. I heard there's been a breakout at the juvenile prison. Maybe the adult one too, the person I talked to wasn't sure, but they're both pretty much full of stikers and other rebels at this point so I'm not surprised. Thought you'd want to know."
"Oh," said Halek. He saw Ektanai in his mind. "Yeah, okay. Um- Are you all okay here without me?"
"I'll come with you," Rovian signed.
Ailít nodded. "Go."
They took his family's little fishing boat. The prisons were on the other side and further downriver than Kulainestainer.
Rovian picked at one of the weathered foam corners as Halek steered. His parents had child-proofed all the sharp edges very diligently after Halek had tripped and split his face open on a previously-missed one. Everyone thought he should be nervous about being on the boat because of that, but it was mostly just… fine. It wasn't his favourite place in the world, but he'd gotten his boating license at twelve like almost everyone else, and he was comfortable taking it on these rivers.
He felt a lot safer on the boat than where they were taking it, that was for sure.
The water was as smooth as he'd ever seen it. He chose to take that as a good omen.
"Are you going to be okay being there?" Rovian asked.
"I'll be fine," he lied. "Are you going to be okay? It's not a nice place."
Rovian looked at him incredulously. "Halek."
He shrugged and avoided her eyes.
"I wasn't the one held there. Don't worry about me."
He shrugged again, keeping his hand wrapped around the wheel even though he didn't need to steer right now. It gave him an excuse not to say anything.
"I'm angry," Rovian signed. "You were so… bright, and then it happened, and then when you came home it was like that had just been extinguished. Crushed. I'm angry, but I'm not scared."
Halek pursed his lips and kept pretending to steer.
"You know, you can trust me," Rovian signed. "I know there are things you can't tell me, but… I'm your best friend. I don't like when you lie to me. I want you to be able to tell me the truth. You don't have to tell me about what happened, but I'd like us to be emotionally honest with each other, at least."
Halek swallowed. "I'm scared," he admitted. It felt like pulling off a fingernail. "I always get upset when I go back to visit Ektanai. I don't know if this will be the same, or… Makes me feel bad."
He heard the alarms before he saw it.
"Don't let go of me," he told Rovian before they got off the boat. "I don't want to lose track of each other."
She nodded and took his arm.
The outer wall had been breached by the time they got there, a giant hole right through the bricks, completely bypassing the razor wire on top. Part of the main building was on fire. That sight, maybe, made Halek feel good.
He needed to find Ektanai.
He and Rovian ducked carefully through the hole in the wall. Inside the yard, there were far fewer bodies than Halek had feared, and far fewer people remaining than he'd expected. Most of the revolutionaries were probably gone by now to join the fight in the city.
Ektanai's voice rose above the wailing of the siren. "-teach you to keep your fucking hands to your fucking self-"
"Hey," said Halek as he found them. "Hey, hey! Ektanai! Stop! He's not getting back up, you can stop, it's okay-" He wedged his cane between his legs and carefully caught their wrist once he was close enough. "Hey. It's okay. Stop."
Ektanai dropped the bloodied chunk of concrete. "Halek."
Rovian caught sight of the guard and hid her face in his shoulder.
Ektanai chewed their lip. "Is he… dead?"
Halek patted Rovian's back and awkwardly bent down to check, not sure what he was hoping for. He did not find a pulse. "Yes. Þúsogh míogh tshà," he added belatedly, split-again spirits be at peace, just a thing someone had to say right after something died even if you hated them (or the newly-released-back-to-the-air part of their spirit might come back to haunt people).
"Fuck," said Ektanai, and covered their face. "Fuck. I didn't plan this, Halek, I didn't- He grabbed me and I was just so sick of him grabbing me- Fuck. Are you mad at me?"
"No," Halek said. He cautiously offered them his arm. They hadn't been allowed to touch, before, and he didn't want to overwhelm them. "I think… Murder is bad, generally speaking." His hand around the gun. Aim between the eyes. "But… I expect he had it coming."
Ektanai reached back. "'Expect.'" They laughed bitterly. "Don't you remember?"
"Only in nightmares." Halek manoeuvred all three of them further away from the scene. "There's also the, um. Face issue. Not exactly… what you would call recognizable…"
"Oh." They let Halek put his arm around their bony shoulders. "I haven't even been in a fight in years. I didn't know I could… Gods. This isn't like last time. I knew I was capable of murder, everyone knows that, but not so… messily. Impulsively."
Halek remembered Ektanai's quiet voice, years ago. I think I could have put up with it, if it was just me, but my little brother… He told me he fell, but I knew better. I had to do it. No one else cared. It took almost a year to plan. Does that upset you?
And Halek had thought, if it was Talí, if it was Roo, if no one else cared, and said, no.
It upsets me, Ektanai had confessed. No one believes I'm upset, but I am. I loved them too. I wish someone else had believed me and cared enough to do something earlier.
"They're going to kill me for this," Ektanai said now. "I'm way older now. I'm almost twenty. Forget about getting out, they're gonna push for the death penalty this time. I'm so fucked."
Halek closed his eyes. He was already in hiding himself after Ykseis, possibly facing the same fate if he was found, for killing a cop and injuring several more. "Not if no one finds out."
"But- I mean, can't they tell?" Ektanai said. "With forensics? One of the others, you don't know her, but she was always talking about forensics. Thought they'd get her exonerated during the appeal and never shut up about how they could always tell in the end."
Halek pursed his lips. Talí and Daanah had gone through a period of being very interested in mysteries and spy books, always taking fingerprints off of things around the house with tape and baking powder. Talí had been the first person to take his fingerprints, ages ago for Daanah's database, long before any of this. "From what I know of fingerprinting, that block of concrete's too rough to get anything from. And, it's part of a wall- you can't have been the only person who touched it. Besides- things are happening tonight, Ektanai- this will be the last of their priorities."
"If you say so," Ektanai said.
Rovian lightly thunked her head into him in annoyance.
"This is my best friend Rovian," he said. "You might have met? She visited me and she came with me sometimes when I came to see you. She's Deaf, and we weren't signing, so I have to catch her up on what's going on now."
He felt bad about having left her out, but the start of the situation had necessitated shouting, and he didn't know how well Ektanai signed.
He let go of Ektanai and gave Rovian a brief summary of the conversation, leaving out the more personal details of Ektanai's distress.
"He had it coming, though, targeting them and- others-" and me?- "for years. Death is sad, but, you know, good riddance. Can't hurt anyone else now."
"'And others,'" Rovian repeated. "Did he hurt you, too?"
Halek's body was very tense. "I think so."
"Then, yeah." Rovian mimed spitting in the direction of the body. "Good fucking riddance. I'm glad he's dead."
"I have a couple more questions to ask Ektanai," Halek Touch-Talked. "Is it okay if I do that and then catch you up again in a few minutes?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." He transitioned back to Ðíúharlaesoghk. "Ektanai, do you have somewhere to go? You said a while ago that your brother's foster parents-"
"Yeah," said Ektanai. "No. That was on the off chance that I got released instead of moved to the adult facility. They won't be okay with the whole… breaking out situation. Especially not if they find out about… If I'm not abiding by all the rules, they won't want me around him. I don't want to get them mixed up in this, anyway, he's thriving with them and I don't want to jeopardize that." Then, quietly, again: "Fuck."
"It's okay," Halek said. "You can come home with me. It's okay."
"Will your family be okay with that?"
"I'll talk to them," he said. "Where are the other guards?"
"Some of us- well, not me, I was- you know. Some of us locked them in the records building," said Ektanai. "Piled a bunch of crap in front of the door. It'll take them a while to get out."
Halek had thought there was no one left around now, but when they made their way back to the hole in the wall, they found a small figure in a torn prison uniform curled up and shaking against the bricks.
Halek bent down again. He was going to need a hefty dose of his painkillers after all this.
"Hey," he said gently.
The kid raised their tear-stained face. They couldn't be older than Roo, maybe even younger.
Halek felt sick. The age of full criminal responsibility in Rāmia was twelve, modelled after the Senci age of religious consent, which meant they could put twelve-year-olds in jail. Juraji's words, you should have been in school, floated up in his mind.
"I'm Halek," he said. "What's your name?"
They didn't say anything, just stared at him through dirty glasses.
"Núrím?" Ektanai said. "Hey. Do you remember me? Ektanai? From when you were having that problem with an older kid?"
Núrím nodded slowly.
"This is my friend Halek," said Ektanai. "He used to be here too, a long time ago. This is Rovian. Do you want to come with us?"
"Do you live in the city?" Halek said. "I can take you back with us on my boat." They had plenty of life jackets.
"I'm scared," Núrím said. "I don't want to get in even more trouble…" They sniffed. "All I did was break a few windows and now…"
"Yeah." Halek sighed. "I don't think you'll get in trouble, Núrím. There are much bigger problems for the government to deal with in this city now than a kid who broke some glass, and I know people who can help you."
"Problems like what?" Núrím said.
"There's me, for instance," said Ektanai, in what might have been an attempt at a joke. Halek could never tell with them.
"But you're always so nice," said Núrím.
"I'm here for first degree double homicide," said Ektanai. They were always very blunt, even about things that upset them.
"Oh," said Núrím, in a tone that made Halek worry that they'd just undone any progress in making them feel safe.
"They will be a lot more worried about me than about you if they decide to try to chase us down, and there were something like five hundred people here who are all gone now," Ektanai said, oblivious to having scared Núrím again. "They won't care much about you."
"Will your family be okay with you coming back like this?" Halek asked. "If they won't be, I know some people who can help you find somewhere else to go, too."
"My uncle will," Núrím said.
"Okay," said Halek. "So do you want to come with us?"
Núrím nodded.
"Okay. Come on." Ektanai helped them up. "Let's go."
Rovian, seeing that they were about to leave, picked up a broken piece of brick from the wall and hurled it, with all the strength of a figure skater who frequently had to safely throw and catch her partner, straight at the burning cellblock behind them. She made an obscene gesture at the building before grabbing back on to Halek's arm.
"We're going to help them get home," he told her.
She nodded.
Halek and Rovian stepped through, Halek carefully making sure Rovian didn't fall on the debris she probably wouldn't see, then Núrím, then finally it was Ektanai's turn.
They stood awkwardly on the other side.
"Come on," Halek said.
"I haven't been outside these walls in six years," Ektanai said.
"You can do it." Halek wished he could extend his hand to help them through, but he was in too much pain by now to let go of his cane again until he could sit down.
Ektanai took a visible deep breath and stepped through to freedom.
It was near midnight by the time Halek got home. Every store he'd passed was closed and a lot of the roads were blocked off, so he'd had to abandon the ice pops idea. He'd dropped Núrím off at a dock a little ways upriver from the prison where they'd said they knew someone, then Rovian on the other side of the Bridge in Kulainestainer, so it was just him and Ektanai now.
"This is… nice." Ektanai fidgeted nervously as Halek tied up the boat. "Halek. Am I a bad person?"
"I don't believe in good people and bad people." Halek held down part of the rope with his elbow so he could finish the knot.
"Oh," Ektanai said quietly. "That doesn't really… answer my question."
"I think extreme circumstances sometimes result in extreme reactions," Halek said. He straightened up and gave the rope a tug to make sure it was secure. "I think if you're a bad person then I probably am too." He told them what had happened at Ykseis. Ffwyn had been way too casual about it, but Ektanai might understand.
"That sucks," Ektanai said. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah," said Halek heavily. He put in the code to lock the neighbourhood boatyard and swung the gate shut. "Thanks."
Ektanai followed him up the riverbank (a difficult incline for Halek's leg by this point) to his house. It was the second-closest to the river- Úsírae and Maidallis had wanted to live close together for years, so when Halek's family had had a baby on the way (him) and been looking for a house and one so close to the Bridge it was practically on it had gone up for sale, they'd snapped it up in a heartbeat. (Or, that was how Úsírae told it. Halek assumed there had probably been some financial negotiation and real estate logistics during that supposed 'heartbeat,' and the nearby Bridge Public School and high concentration of Beri immigrants in the neighbourhood had probably also been contributing factors in addition to the proximity to Kulainestainer.)
"We should be quiet," he said as he opened the storm door. "There will probably still be other people up, especially today, but my little cousin Aedrii-Nú at the very least is probably asleep and I don't want to wake her up."
"Okay," said Ektanai.
Halek sat down on the chair just inside the door to take off his shoes. It was a relief to get off his leg.
Ektanai looked at the shoe rack, then at their shitty, ill-fitting rubber-soled slippers, then back at the shoe rack before saying "Oh," and kicking their shoes off too.
They went further into the house. Halek's grandmother Niimféo-Elús was still up, reviewing some paperwork in the main room.
"What's that?" Halek asked
"Just some things for Moghrlai Gurodstadit Neighbourhood Assistance," she said, not looking up. "I expect we will be even more needed in the coming tendays."
"I brought Ektanai back with me," Halek said. "The, um. I think the building's destroyed."
"Oh." Niimféo-Elús did look up, then. "Okay."
"Wait," said Ektanai. "You should know. I killed three people and one of them was earlier this evening."
"Arguably self-defense," Halek said.
Niimféo-Elús sighed. "Okay." She sounded exhausted. "Well, we'll all talk in the morning, but for now just… just go to bed. It's late. We'll deal with… all this tomorrow."
They took the elevator. Halek's bedroom was on the top floor and he couldn't handle the stairs tonight.
Ektanai kept looking around like they weren't sure any of this was real.
"I'll see about borrowing some of Talí's clothes for you," Halek said. "You're about the same height."
"Okay," said Ektanai. "Halek- Can I use your shower? Oh, oh- Can I have a bath? I haven't had a bath since I was twelve years old."
"Yeah," said Halek. "Go ahead. Bathroom's all yours. The door locks from the inside with a little switch on the handle."
How weird, how important it had been for him to get to bathe alone again, with the door locked and everything under his control, after much shorter periods of time.
"It's slippery when you step in," he added. "Careful. I don't want you hitting your head."
They nodded.
Halek left them to it and went to check on Juraji and try to find space on his floor for Ektanai too.
Juraji was awake, still or again Halek didn't know.
"Hey," he said softly, sitting on the bed next to xem. "How are you feeling?" He rested the back of his hand against xir forehead. "You don't feel as feverish anymore to me."
"Mm." Juraji turned xir head sleepily towards Halek. "Headache."
"Have you taken anything since I left?"
"'Bout an hour ago," Juraji said. "It doesn't feel like it's working."
"I couldn't find any ice pops," Halek said. "I'll look again tomorrow, see if there's anyplace open. I'm sorry. We have some regular ice cubes in the freezer downstairs if you want something cold to suck on anyway." He paused, knowing the next thing he said would probably bother Juraji. Xe never got mad at Halek because of it, or if xe did xe never told him, but he knew xe got jealous. "There was a breakout at the Juvenile Detention Centre. I brought my old cellmate Ektanai home with me for now."
"Oh," said Juraji. "You were gone longer than I expected. I guess that's why."
"Yeah," said Halek. "There's a lot going on out there. Do you think I can climb in with you tonight and Ektanai can take the floor bed?" It would be a tight fit, but they could figure something else out in the morning.
"I guess," Juraji mumbled. Halek couldn't tell how xe felt.
"You're the best." Halek kissed xem on the forehead. "I'm just going to go borrow some clothes for Ektanai and then I'll get into bed." And how welcome that would be, even squeezed in as he would be. It had been a very long day.
In the morning, Niimféo-Elús wanted to talk to Ektanai privately.
Halek picked at a thread on his pants. He didn't know what he was going to do if his family didn't agree to let them stay until they could figure something else out. He couldn't just kick his friend out with nowhere to go.
"They mean a lot to you," Juraji said, sitting up with the quilt pulled around xir shoulders.
"They looked out for me," Halek said.
"Not well enough," Juraji muttered.
Halek frowned at xem. "They never left me alone with anyone and they stopped the other kids picking on me for my name and my disabilities. They did everything that was in their power to do to protect me. I would have been completely alone without them."
"Hmph," said Juraji. "Okay."
Halek considered telling xem what he thought the guard they'd killed had done to him, but the words got stuck in his throat and he ended up saying nothing. He wasn't ready to open up that conversation. He didn't know if he ever would be, even with Juraji- maybe especially with Juraji, who up until recently had been totally, wonderfully disconnected from that part of Halek's past, whom he still felt like he needed to somehow keep separate from it all.
"Do you love them more than me?" Juraji asked quietly, not looking at him. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't ask."
"Juraji." Halek rested his hand on xir blanket-covered leg. "I don't love people in amounts. I just love people. Loving them doesn't make me love you any less, just like loving Ãgbii doesn't make you love me less. Every relationship is different, special just for what it is, not diminishing the others. I promise nothing could make me love you any less."
"Okay," said Juraji.
Halek hoped xe believed him. It made him sad that Juraji never felt like xe was enough, that Halek could love xem even if xe couldn't be perfect and fulfill every need, that xe didn't actually need to be the objective best partner and best person and best mage to have ever existed to be more than good enough for Halek. He would have some very strong words for Juraji's mother if they ever met.
"Wish your grandmother had been my lawyer," Ektanai told Halek when they came back.
Niimféo-Elús told everyone that in her professional opinion she didn't think Ektanai was at all dangerous to anyone who wasn't an active violent threat to them or their brother, and to Halek's relief, eventually everyone came to a consensus to let them stay for a little longer.
It took a few days to completely shut down imperial military operations in Moghrlai Gurodstadit. There had been a lot of defections to their side and even more desertions. Misa's bomb had taken out most of the base's computer servers, including their security systems. Upon being found, the base commander had been carried bodily out past city limits and dumped in the Ðíúntmoghr. Abandoned by most of her soldiers, the new general had apparently shot herself rather than order a total retreat and her hastily-promoted successor had been stabbed within a day by one of the few soldiers remaining after also refusing to retreat. The third had immediately pulled out every remaining soldier.
If Halek looked through the binoculars, he could see a small camp on the horizon. The highway was blocked, and there would almost certainly be reinforcements arriving soon, but it was his job and that of the other volunteer lookouts- some of whom had until very recently been Rāmian soldiers themselves, but Halek wasn't going to complain about more allies right now even if they had been enemies- to sound the alarm if they made any moves.
Juraji was starting to feel better. Halek wanted xem to stay in for a few more days to rest and recover, but after that xe wanted to join him. I have better eyesight, anyway, xe'd said, which wasn't about the cataracts but wasn't not about the cataracts either. Halek hadn't told anyone else about them yet. That could be yet another problem for later.
The municipal government was a mess, but that was one thing, at least, that Halek wasn't responsible for figuring out. Every news source said something different. This morning they'd appointed someone as interim mayor, a city councillor from a ward that wasn't Halek's so he didn't really know them. It was very early still, so he just had to trust that people more qualified than him would work things out.
Rovian lowered herself next to him on the rooftop. "I talked to Zhe'ārani," she signed against his back.
He nodded, more vigorously than he usually would so she could feel his muscles shift and might catch the motion in her line of sight.
"She said the commune was attacked around the same time things got heated here," Rovian Touch-Talked. "Everyone's okay. Apparently her… friends helped them out."
There was no hard evidence that Zhe'ārani's friend had ratted Fiyavu Ozast out for dodging the draft, but the timing was very suspicious, and Halek expected Rovian would always blame Zhe'ārani's friend for Fiyavu Ozast's death unless some very compelling evidence to the contrary turned up. So did he, really. And then there had been the attempt on Daanah's life.
He was glad the other Initiates had gotten out, because it weakened the Temple and by extension the empire and because he would never want anyone to go through what it seemed like Zhe'ārani had, but… It was complicated. Like with the army defectors, he would always welcome more allies and less enemies, and he understood how the empire and the Temple used (sometimes very violent) force and coercion to make people enact their will. He really did believe they deserved to be safe, they deserved support and to heal and to be allowed to grow and change. He didn't blame them that much individually for most of it. It didn't mean he had to like them. Maybe one day that would change- he called Zhe'ārani a friend now, after all, and trusted her- but not right now.
"I'm glad everyone's okay," he Touch-Talked, realizing he'd been ruminating instead of responding.
Rovian sighed and leaned against him for a while. The past several days since they'd made up, he'd been noticing just how tired and worn she seemed.
They were all tired and worn, and they would be more so before this was over, but for the first time, he felt like maybe they really could win.
Chapters 73 (Halek, Maaziariitna, Sei) and 76 (Maaziariitna, Lí, Rovian) of Aros Against Fate
Content notices: authoritarianism, police and prison violence, hospitalization, swearing, central familial relationships
Taglist:
@cepheusgalaxy
@softandwigglybones
@stabbydragon
@grapes-are-so-microwavable
@northameicanblog
@pomegranate-opossum
@aro-villain
Seventy-three
48 De Quarto 4073
Isohi
Rovian
Juraji
Daanah
Ai-
Lí sat down heavily next to Halek and put an official-looking document on top of the list he was making of everyone he'd talked to about the meeting.
The document was called the Patriotic Rāmian Act.
"Oh," said Halek as he read it, his chest clenching tighter the further he got.
Contact with Wend-Ki'ans- banned.
Owning, possessing, or distributing Wend-Ki'an and sympathetic media- banned.
Any activity found to be un-Rāmian, that sought to undermine the government or the war effort in any way- banned.
Gathering in non-household groups larger than ten, except in specific circumstances- banned.
Travel permits were now required to travel between even Rāmian territories.
"I have to hide my books," Lí said. "Pao is set in Wend-Ki. The author is Carodic. I have to hide them."
Halek nodded distantly. The implications for him- and for everyone- were much greater than Lí having to hide their books.
Lí's books mattered, of course- the Pao and the Worldbreakers series was incredibly important to them. But it was so much bigger than that, even just for their family, and he wasn't sure Lí had fully grasped it all yet.
QD had been illegal and dangerous before, but it was a lot more dangerous now. Moghrlai Gurodstadit Neighbourhood Support had been legal before- well, mostly- but he suspected a lot of its activities could easily fall into prohibited categories.
Halek and Juni, having already committed related offences on record, would probably be watched extra closely. The general police harassment would probably get a lot worse.
Berysek was allied with Rāmia, but that didn't mean that their family being immigrants wouldn't be seen negatively and with suspicion (never mind that both Halek's generation and his mother's had been born in Rāmia; Juni hadn't been and their family remained firmly Beri in many ways).
He would lose contact with his friends. He wasn't sure how long he could go without interacting with Juraji and Diihse, especially.
This new collection of laws, new crimes and harsher punishments, hadn't come entirely unexpectedly, but that didn't make it better, and Halek had only half really believed that something like this would come to pass.
There was a knock on the door, the special knock that the family used, so Halek got up and pressed the button to open the door with the nub of his wrist.
Yainogh and Ísel.
He knew immediately that something was wrong by how subdued Ísel was and how Yainogh was frantically braiding and unbraiding a chunk of his hair. Ísel was only anything close to subdued when she was scared. Yainogh was never subdued, but instead got more frenetic with distress.
"You've had the decree?" Yainogh asked, leaning heavily on his crutch while unravelling his braid.
Halek nodded silently.
"We're going to pick up Maaziariitna," Yainogh said.
"Or back her up," said Ísel.
"Or back her up," agreed Yainogh. "His factory is on strike right now. She's on the picket lines. And I think that's very illegal now. Disrupting the war effort and all.”
The bottom of Halek's stomach dropped out. "Oh, shit." He hadn't even thought of that.
"Do you have money for the train?" Ísel asked.
"We walked here," Yainogh added, which explained his unusually high amount of trembling. "No return pass."
"Yeah, just a minute," said Halek. "You can come in and sit down while I go get the emergency funds from my room."
When he pulled the wallet out from under his mattress, he winced at how little there was in it. It was enough to get them to the Industrial Quarter, but there wouldn't be much left after that. It was uncomfortably little to have in case of emergency. He couldn't exactly flee the country on it. He probably couldn't even buy a full meal with it.
Maybe there was a kid who needed tutoring or a garden that needed care. Unofficial, one-off gigs were pretty much the only thing he could get hired for, with his arrest record, physical problems, and inconsistent schedule.
He bit his lip and shoved the train fare in his pocket. He could figure it out later.
After a moment’s consideration, he popped his hearing aids out of the case on his nightstand and fitted them into his ears. He didn’t want to lose anyone in a crowd.
He tapped his cane anxiously in the elevator.
"Okay," he said once he was back upstairs. "Let's go."
Soft sunlight shone through the train window as Halek chewed the inside of his cheek impatiently.
"Your hair is glowing," Yainogh told Ísel. "It looks like chocolate cake."
Ísel fluffed her well-moisturized short hair in response.
Halek almost laughed, because Yainogh's hair was as dark and curly as Ísel's and responded the same way to the light, and he certainly had much more of it, but of course he was admiring Ísel's instead of his own. His own was beginning to look incredibly frazzled from all of the braiding and unbraiding and none-too-gentle tugging.
"We'll be there soon," said Halek, pulling his good leg up onto the seat with him.
There was a seething crowd in front of Maaziariitna's factory. As they got closer, Halek could see police barricades around it.
"They're already here," Yainogh said, and let out a high-pitched laugh. A clump of hair broke off in his hand, brittle from stress. "Of course they're already here."
"Be careful," Halek said, putting his wrist on Ísel's low shoulder to stop her approach.
As Ísel shrugged him off, there was a succession of loud pops.
Halek's mind went blank, and he wrenched Yainogh and Ísel down onto the damp pavement.
Roo!
"Ow!" said Yainogh. "Halek! What the fuck!"
Halek breathed heavily, his vision starting to clear.
"Halek," said Yainogh again, shaking his shoulder. "Sú-kogh. Halek."
"Gunshots," Halek heard himself say. They still echoed in his ears.
Ísel helped Yainogh to stand. Halek stayed sitting on the ground, rocking a little.
There was blood on Ísel's knee.
There was blood on Ísel's knee.
Was there blood anywhere else? Had he failed again? Had they been shot and he hadn't noticed? Had they been shot and they hadn't noticed?
"I skinned my knee," Ísel said.
"Sú-kogh, you stay here for now," said Yainogh. "Ísel and I will go get Maaziariitna."
Ísel and Yainogh would go get Maaziariitna.
Ísel and Yainogh would get shot.
"No," Halek rasped.
"I don't think you should come," said Yainogh gently.
"No," Halek said again.
He grabbed a handful of Ísel's pant leg while he waited for his words to stop skipping like a broken music box, because Ísel was more likely than Yainogh to just dive into the fray alone to find Maaziariitna.
Ísel scowled at him. "You're just afraid to get shot."
"It's a very reasonable fear, Ísel," said Yainogh.
He was the Sú-kogh. He wasn't supposed to let them see that. He was supposed to be strong for them.
Halek tried to speak again, but still all that came out was "No."
He shook his head and raised his wrist to ask them to wait a little longer.
He closed his eyes and breathed in and out. They hadn't been shot. He was becoming aware of quite a lot of pain in his hip and knee, but that was from throwing himself against concrete without regard for his body. They hadn't been shot.
"Yainogh," he said. "Go closer and look. Don't go in yet. We need more information. Ísel, stay with me. Please." He didn't want her running in, and he didn't think he should be left alone right now.
She glared at him, but eventually she said, "Fine, Sú-kogh."
She said 'Sú-kogh' differently than Yainogh did. Yainogh had been saying it affectionately. Ísel was reluctantly deferring to his authority.
"I'm sorry I freaked out like that," he said as they waited for Yainogh to complete his reconnaissance. "Did I hurt you other than your knee?"
She shook her head. "I'm fine. Are you?"
"I'm going to need my wheelchair to get around for the rest of the seg, at least," Halek said, rubbing his knee. "I didn't think."
"Obviously," said Ísel.
They didn't talk after that.
Halek's heartbeat slowly returned to normal.
Halek watched Yainogh make his way back towards them.
"They got Maaziariitna," Yainogh said.
Halek shot upwards, but his knee and hip immediately gave out. "What?"
Ísel burst into tears, and Yainogh put an arm around her as he continued. "He's been arrested. It's a riot in there. Things are going really badly for the strikers."
"We're going in to get her," said Ísel.
Halek said nothing. It made him nauseous to think of Maaziariitna in there alone, and more nauseous to think of going into it and bringing Ísel and Yainogh. He had a responsibility to protect Maaziariitna, but he also had a responsibility to protect Yainogh and Ísel.
"Halek?" said Yainogh, somewhat harshly. "We're going to get her, aren't we?"
Halek swallowed painfully and shook his head, holding back tears. "I- I'm going to fix things. I promise. But it's too dangerous to get involved in that right now. I don't want you getting hurt."
Ísel turned her face against Yainogh's side.
"What about Maaziariitna?" said Yainogh, yanking out another hank of hair. "We can't let him get hurt either! You're supposed to protect him!"
"I know," said Halek. He wanted to scream. "I'm supposed to protect you, too, and- and the risks that you'll get hurt or killed outweigh the possibility that we might, maybe be able to find Maaziariitna and rescue him."
"Fuck you," said Ísel very quietly, her dark brown eyes fixed on him.
"We're going home," said Halek.
They didn't speak on the way back. When it was Yainogh and Ísel's stop, Halek said, "Tell Misa I need him. QD."
Yainogh and Ísel weren't involved in QD, as far as Halek knew (though it wouldn’t surprise him much to find out they were), but they knew that the letters meant something- more importantly, that the letters meant something to Misa, and were an important part of the message- and they probably had a vague idea of what they were.
"Oh," said Ísel.
Yainogh nodded. "I'll tell him."
"Maaziariitna has been arrested and I want to break her out," said Halek, getting straight to the point.
Misa translated his words into Standard Rāmian Sign, which they all knew (though no one really preferred it) but Halek couldn't sign properly because of his lack of a right hand.
"I second that," added Misa firmly.
"There are a lot of things to consider here," Saafeera signed, then repeated out loud for Misa, who couldn't see the signs.
"It's a bad situation, but it could be advantageous," Ailít signed, which Halek repeated automatically for Misa before properly registering what she'd said.
"How?" he said angrily.
"Ektanai is no longer working with us, so we don't have anyone inside the Moghrlai Gurodstadit Juvenile Detention Facility," Ailít explained. "Maaziariitna could take that place."
"Maaziariitna is strong," Waamaed said.
"I was strong!"
The conversation stopped, Halek's own heavy breathing echoing in his ears as his chest heaved.
Misa took Halek's hand. "You are strong," he said quietly in Halek's ear. "You are strong, Halek."
Maybe. He didn't feel strong right now. Even if that was the case, it had taken him so long to get to a point where he could feel strong again, or remotely okay.
"He's the princess's girl(boy)friend," Waamaed said. "She is protected by that."
"I'm sorry," said Saafeera. "I think it's too risky to try to break her out right now."
"I agree," said Waamaed.
Ailít nodded.
Halek aggressively flicked his brakes off and left. It was all he could do to keep from following Ísel's example.
Misa followed him. "Sú-kogh?" he asked.
"I'm not letting her go through what I did," said Halek. "Even if I have to go rogue."
Misa nodded. "I'll come over tomorrow. I have to get to work now. I'll start putting together my supplies when I get home."
"We'll have to blow through concrete," said Halek.
Misa grinned a little. "Yep. I'll check, but I think I already have enough of everything I need for that."
"Stay safe on the train," said Halek.
"Sei and Darakēnau will tell them that we're aspiring converts," Míúren was saying as Halek passed through the main room. The lighting was far too bright, and it was surprising that none of his various sensory-sensitive family members had dimmed it. "It will be Prince Danjai in charge of the papers, I assume, and he'll want to make this smooth for his granddaughter."
"Sú-kogh!" said Aedrii-Nú, running over to him from where she'd been sitting near Nesyue. "You're back!"
Halek had had enough Sú-kogh-ing for today.
"Sorry, Rii-rii," he said, gently nudging her hand off his wheelchair. "I'm really tired and my knee hurts. I'm going to have a lie-down. I'll see you later, okay?"
Aedrii-Nú reluctantly let him go, and once he was downstairs he flopped face-first onto his bed.
He tried to massage away the headache that felt almost perpetual now. He knew he needed new glasses, but there was so much else to worry about, and he was so tired, and setting up an eye appointment felt like more effort than it was worth, especially now.
He sighed deeply and turned on the quiet music player by his bed.
***
Halek didn't talk about his time in prison. Not with Maaziariitna, at least. She suspected it was to avoid unnecessarily distressing the both of them, but it had let her anxiety fill in the gaps with the worst horrors she could imagine.
"Watch it!" she snapped, as if she hadn't been on the verge of tears for a while now, as if she wasn't naked and shivering in front of people who could and would easily hurt her. "I'm Princess Seitlēn's girlfriend. It's not worth the trouble for you if I get hurt."
The uniform was thin and itchy, and the bra was nowhere near as comfortable or supportive as the stays she was used to. The shirt had the number 538 sewn on.
She pressed three fingers in a W to her lips. A prayer to the Three-Faced God. Specifically to the Parent, to protect her.
At least they’d given back her leg.
Once she was out of processing, someone cradling a hand to their chest, who looked vaguely familiar, made a beeline towards her. Stitched onto their uniform was the number 216.
"Are you Halek's cousin?"
Maaziariitna nodded. "Maaziariitna. She/he."
"Ektanai, they/it. I thought I recognized you from coming with him sometimes when he visits."
Oh. Ektanai.
"He doesn't like coming alone," she said shakily.
"He doesn't like coming at all," said Ektanai. It cracked a small smile. "He still comes to see me every visiting day, though. He's a sweetheart. Best friend I've ever had."
Maaziariitna nodded again.
"I'll look after you," said Ektanai. "I can't promise that I can always protect you, but I can promise to look after you. You'll want to do something about your hair to make it harder to grab you by."
"Thank you," said Maaziariitna quietly. Halek loved and respected Ektanai, and it had looked after him too. "You've been here for a long time."
Ektanai sighed. "Yeah. But my twentieth birthday is this year, and I'll be evaluated again, and hopefully then I'll be free. How did you end up here?"
"I went on strike," said Maaziariitna. "To protest the war."
"Yeah." Maaziariitna's resolve hardened. She did not plan to stay here indefinitely.
"Oh. That's new."
"You've been here for years. So you know the layout, guard schedules- things like that?"
***
Sei waited for Maaziariitna to send her her sketch back all day.
"Sei, walk over to Jēn-Tijani and give her this bowl," Rakiya Idara said, and Sei realized abruptly that it was already dinner time. Already dinner time, and still no response to her sketch. Did Maaziariitna not like it?
When she checked the clan's little portal again, her sketch had been returned, pinned to a note in handwriting she didn't recognize. The Rāmiloq it was written in was too different from the Rāmiloq she spoke, so she handed it to Bello to read. Bello could read a lot of languages.
"Maaziariitna has been arrested under the new laws for going on strike," Bello said. "This is from her stepfather."
Maaziariitna... arrested? But only bad people went to jail. But Maaziariitna was a good person. But her empire was basically good. But her empire's new laws had made Maaziariitna go to jail for standing up for what she believed in.
Sei let out a low whine. Those couldn't all be true at once. Her beliefs were crashing together in her head and collapsing and she didn't know which were true.
Maybe she should break up with Maaziariitna. Maybe that would be better for them both. She had already been getting uncomfortable about their relationship, feeling less and less of the feelings- why did that always happen?- and maybe they were too much in conflict right now. Her body yearned for Maaziariitna, but she didn’t think her heart still did.
But she liked Maaziariitna. Maaziariitna was patient and good at listening to Sei always talking about clothes and animals and she was interested in clothes too and she was a good kisser and she was pretty. Maybe they could be friends instead. Or something. What would the difference even be, then? She really only had friends through her interest in fashion, but she and Maaziariitna mostly talked about that anyway. Maybe they could just be a little more distant, or something.
But would she even get to see Maaziariitna anymore, if Maaziariitna had been arrested?
But Maaziariitna was a good person, she shouldn't have been arrested, and maybe they'd let her out soon when they realized they'd made a mistake?
Sei felt trapped. Trapped in her brain, in her relationship, in her country, in her body... just trapped.
Seventy-six
50 De Quinto
Maaziariitna mentally repeated everything he had learned about the detention centre so far, both from Ektanai and from general observation, as he ran the sturdy fabric of what would be a military uniform through the sewing machine.
“I like sewing,” Maaziariitna said grimly.
The supervisor for their bench smacked the back of his head. “No talking.”
Maaziariitna shoved his foot down on the treadle as hard as he could, eyes stinging and hands trembling with anger. He imagined that he was stomping on the supervisor’s face.
“Don’t,” Ektanai hissed under their breath, facing forwards but looking at him out of the corner of their eye.
Maaziariitna bit his tongue, and the supervisor moved along.
“Don’t piss them off,” Ektanai said in a low voice. “Halek punched a guard once. They put him in a straightjacket and then solitary confinement, and I had to piece him back together. Don’t follow his example, no matter how angry you get.”
Maaziariitna hadn’t known that about Halek, and found himself somewhat stuck on it. It made sense, he supposed- Halek really didn’t like being alone, and started acting strangely if he was alone for longer than a couple hours.
He was starting to really understand why Halek never talked about his time here. Maaziariitna wasn’t sure he’d be able to talk about it himself if he were here much longer.
“That guard’s not around anymore,” Ektanai whispered, leaning close to Maaziariitna. “Ffwyn took care of it.”
“Good,” said Maaziariitna.
He inhaled deeply.
“Do you smell that?” he whispered to Ektanai.
Ektanai raised an eyebrow.
“Ozone,” Maaziariitna said. He doubted Ektanai would understand the significance of that- Halek very well may never have mentioned being an oxygen mage, and even if he had, a passing detail wouldn’t be likely to be retained for four years- but he needed outside confirmation to make sure he wasn’t imagining it.
Ektanai gave a small nod.
“Halek’s an oxygen mage,” Maaziariitna said.
Ektanai’s mouth formed an O. “Go,” they said. “Follow it. I’ll distract them. I hope you don’t come back.”
“You sure?”
Ektanai nodded, studying their hands, then grimaced and shoved their already-injured hand into the sewing machine.
Maaziariitna screamed. The person on Ektanai’s other side screamed. The person across from them said “Oh my gods.” Someone else shouted for help.
Go, Ektanai mouthed.
In the chaos, Maaziariitna ran.
He followed the smell of ozone to a small window in an empty part of the prison.
Tentatively, he knocked on the wall below it in the pattern the cousins used.
A voice- Misa’s voice- shouted “Stand back!”
Maaziariitna rapidly retreated from the wall, just in time for it to blow open.
“Go!” said Misa. “Don’t touch the sharp bits or the hot bits! Go, go, go!”
Maaziariitna jumped over the smoldering bottom of the wall, and Halek caught his arm to steady him. Not even his eyes were visible- fairy eyes were too recognizable to risk, probably, since Misa’s brown eyes weren’t covered- but Maaziariitna still recognized the shape of him.
I had to piece him back together. Maaziariitna met Halek’s eyes through his sunglasses. “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t put yourself in jail, kogh,” Misa said, rapidly shoving any evidence into a bag.
That wasn’t what he’d meant.
“Maaz! Come on!”
“Mapa!” said Maaziariitna, looking over in delight. Ystraddø was on the pavement nearby, idling on his motorcycle. A second helmet- Maaziariitna’s helmet- hung off the handlebars.
“Go,” said Halek. “We’ll talk later.”
“What about you?” He didn’t want to leave them alone to face whatever that alarm was heralding.
“We’ll handle it,” said Misa, slinging the bag over his shoulder. “We’re good at disappearing.”
Halek nodded, and Maaziariitna ran and swung his leg over the motorcycle.
***
Lí clicked a pen and played with the chain on their pants. The waiting room smelled like cleaning products.
“It will be alright,” Míúren said.
“I’m not very good at… you know,” said Lí. “Saying the right thing.”
“Give the shortest answers you can,” Niimféo-Elús. “Don’t volunteer any information. Keep things simple, and don’t lie unnecessarily. If they ask you something you don’t feel like you can answer, tell them you don’t know or don’t remember, and hopefully they will ask one of us instead.”
“We’ve practiced this,” said Míúren. “Just like theatre.”
Lí nodded. They could do theatre. They could pretend to be someone else. They weren’t sure how well they could pretend to be themself-but-not-quite.
This Lí did not have strong political opinions. This Lí had little in common with their radical brother and grandkether. This Lí was very average. This Lí wanted to be Telish. This Lí’s brother was sick, not frequently leaving the country for tendays at a time. This Lí was okay with abandoning Pao and the Worldbreakers in light of the new laws.
“Kiureik-awn Hykki Aréaltalí-Aisún?”
Lí swallowed and stood up. “That’s me.”
“Follow me, please.”
Lí glanced nervously at Míúren, who squeezed their hand and nodded.
They were led into an unpleasant, small, grey room with very bright lights, where they waited for a little longer before someone came to sit in the chair on the other side of the plain desk from them.
“I am Aetnw-dhà,” said the interviewer in Standard Lowlands Rāmiloq, adjusting their glasses. “Please confirm your name and date of birth.”
Lí did.
“What is your reason for requesting an internal passport?”
Lí tried to sit still to avoid giving away their nervousness with their stimming. They couldn’t keep up stillness for very long, but maybe they could last through this interview. “Princess Seitlēn has kindly invited my mother, my grandmother, and myself as guests on her pilgrimage, as part of our conversion process to the Telish religion.”
“Why?”
Lí was thrown off. “Why what?”
“Why has the princess invited you?”
“She’s dating my cousin,” said Lí. “I think it’s a favour to him. I don’t actually know her very well.”
What if that had been saying too much? Niimféo-Elús had said not to volunteer any information, and they hadn’t been asked how well they knew Sei. Was it suspicious that they didn’t know each other well?
“Are you employed?” the interviewer asked.
“Yes,” said Lí, glad to be back on steadier ground. “I’m a tutor at my school. I help lower-level students with their classes, mostly languages. I’m good at languages,” they added with pride.
“I understand you live with your grandkether. You are aware that ze is classified as a threat to the empire?”
“Minor threat,” Lí said. “I live with hir. I live with a lot of people.”
“How close are you?”
“I’m a lot closer with my grandmother,” said Lí, which was true. Halek and Juni were close, especially since Halek’s imprisonment, but Lí and Juni had always rubbed each other a bit wrong.
“And your brother has a criminal record from a few years ago.”
“Yes,” said Lí. “He’s mellowed out since then. He’s no longer near the beginning of puberty and he takes medicine to stabilize his mood. Being arrested… changed him.” They couldn’t make themself say it had been good for him, even as a farce. Not when he’d been loud, and lively, and happy, and then all of that had been gone when he’d come home, and he’d flinched when they hugged him. Not with how he’d been since Maaziariitna’s arrest. "It's been five years."
“Are you involved in any political agitation?”
“Not really,” said Lí, which was… somewhere between a lie and not. They didn’t have the energy to go to protests most of the time, and they wouldn’t call handing out flyers for the municipal election ‘agitation.’
“What are your political beliefs? Do you share any with your brother and grandkether?”
“Uh,” said Lí. They’d come up with a script for this, but it was taking too long to remember. “No. I’m not like them. You know, they’re very radical, and… I’m not…” Heat rose to their face as they stumbled, trying to buy time.
Liar, said Halek’s voice in their ear, devoid of the teasing tone the real Halek’s would have taken.
Do not disavow me, said Juni’s, which was believable as something ze’d say but probably not in this kind of situation. Juni had always been pretty clear about lying to the authorities about things that could get them in trouble like that.
“I think it kind of stinks that we’re at war,” they said. “I trust that it was going to happen one way or another, though. Better we’re attacking first. And I think the mayor should fix the potholes in my street that have been there for years and keep growing every time there’s ice.”
Their interviewer laughed quietly at that. Potholes were a shared misery of many in Moghrlai Gurodstadit.
“I’m not very political, really,” they finished awkwardly. “I’m more concerned with school and my friend being a Cardinal Scribe fated to die young and stuff right now.”
“That’s fair,” said their interviewer. “You’re only, what…”
“Fifteen,” said Lí, who had just given the interviewer their birth date. They were irritated by the implication that people their age shouldn’t have political beliefs or be involved in things.
“How long have you been wanting to convert?”
“About a year,” said Lí, picking an amount of time they thought seemed reasonable. “I’m not sure when it really hit me that I wanted to be Telish… I’ve been interested in the religion for a long time.”
“How come?”
“I had a baby brother who died, and my best friend is slowly dying from using divine magic,” said Lí. They had been very young when Nieraus-aer had been born a year after Roo, and still very young when he’d returned to the air. They didn’t remember very much, and treasured the memories of him they did have. “I like the theology they have around the dead, that they don’t cease to exist after ghosthood but instead become part of a collective guiding us. I like the strength of their community. I hope that soon it will be my community too.”
“Why are your mother and grandmother also converting?”
“They got interested after I said I wanted to,” said Lí. “I think it’s about my little brother for them too, but I’m not sure. It’s pretty personal to everyone.”
Eventually, when the interviewer finally finished their questioning, they left Lí sitting in the room.
Their voice and a couple others drifted under the door. Lí had superb hearing- Halek had always joked that they’d stolen some from him, which had confused Lí because he’d been born years before them.
The officials did not seem enthusiastic about giving them passports, which made Lí panic until one of them said something about ‘pressure from the top.’
That must mean Sei and Rakiya Idara had succeeded in convincing Danjai that Lí’s family needed to come to Elissat with them.
The interviewer came back into the room and handed Lí a booklet and a pen. “You and a legal guardian need to sign this,” they said.
Lí signed their name with one hand flapping in the air beside them.
***
Halek had been spending hours with her in the hospital, but today he had only come by briefly to bring her fresh flowers because the scent of the other ones had worn out, and Rovian was lonely.
She didn’t know where Halek was. She wished he was with her.
Daanah was going to come later in the afternoon, but both her parents had had to go back to work, and Ailít had to work today too.
She was bored, too. She wanted something to distract her from the pain in her back and numbness in her legs.
She would get to go home soon, she’d been told, but not yet.
The bright light above her door blinked to alert her that someone was going to come in. Probably a nurse, back to check her blood pressure again.
It wasn’t a hospital nurse, though. Kowlam walked in with his long cane in one hand and his nurse’s arm in the other.
A balloon of happiness expanded in Rovian’s chest. Kowlam hadn’t visited yet, and she’d thought maybe he couldn’t, maybe even with his nurse he couldn’t navigate the hospital well enough. He was DeafBlind like her, and she’d had a hard enough time navigating it before her injury, with more residual vision than he had and no intellectual disability. But here he was.
Kowlam was a skater too. He would understand her feelings in a way others couldn’t.
Kowlam’s nurse guided him to sit on Rovian’s bed, before disappearing out of Rovian’s narrow field of vision to where Rovian knew there was a chair.
She found Kowlam’s hand with her own and lifted it to greet him.
“I heard you fell. Broke your back,” Kowlam said, Touch-Talking across Rovian’s arm.
“Yes,” Rovian Touch-Talked back. “I fell from very high. I can’t skate anymore.”
Kowlam’s hand on her chest must have been able to feel her start crying. “Sad,” he said, then lay his head on her belly. “Sadness is good to cry.”
Daanah arrived fairly soon after Kowlam left. Her hand was shaking when she greeted Rovian.
“Are you sick again?” Rovian asked. “You shouldn’t have come if you are.” Personally, she didn’t think Daanah should come to the hospital at all, regardless of if she was sick or not, because of how easily she picked viruses up now, but it was Daanah’s immune system and Daanah’s choice to risk getting sick.
“I’m not sick,” Daanah replied, the bed shifting as she sat down.
They sat without talking for a minute, then Daanah said, “It’s my fault.”
“What’s your fault?” Rovian asked, feeling panic start to take hold. Had something happened while she’d been in the hospital? Was that why Halek had stayed for so little time this morning? Was that why he’d asked her to pretend he’d been here for longer if anyone asked?
“You can’t walk anymore,” said Daanah. “You can’t skate anymore. You got hurt, and I couldn’t heal you because I wasted all my power on saving Miwaanii-Shémelús instead of you.”
Oh. Rovian could think of several people she might blame, foremost being herself and Coraniss Sayklee, but Daanah wasn’t one of them. “You saved his life,” she said. “He would have been dead if not for you. I’m hurt but I’m alive. I’m proud of you for saving someone’s life.”
not at all satisfied with this chapter. love the Halek + Ektanai interactions of course but that whole part just feels like such a detour from the real plot. *deep breath* it'll all work better next draft...
incredibly important plot-thing happening in this chapter but I want to get to the fun part in which Ektanai very deservedly bashes someone's head in and Halek's too late to stop them. Halek should do some leadership thing but I'm tired of writing speeches... Daanah's always giving speeches and I feel preachy when I write them... he's a protagonist which means he should protag. but people are getting along fine without him by now
they were never going to let Ektanai out when they turn twenty anyway. Rāmia does not look kindly on kids who kill their parents and there’s no arguing that it wasn’t premeditated. No judge is likely to rule in their favour. Halek knows this and on some level so does Ektanai but neither of them want to break that fragile little bubble of hope of an endpoint that’s all Ektanai has to keep them going, but by the end of EAF they’ve definitely acknowledged that or they wouldn’t have helped plan that breakout because if it failed and they got caught that would be the end of any “good behaviour” argument that they could lean on
you getttt *magician’s flourish* my newest character, Lawmí! I just made them today :)
(She’s not in this draft but she is going to appear in the next draft, when Rovian is a main character.)
Lawmí is fifteen or sixteen and an inmate at the Morlaigūd Juvenile Detention Facility. They’re the current cellmate of Halek’s one-time cellmate and good friend Ektanai. She tells people she’s in for murder because a) she’s small and weak in appearance and wants to seem tough to the other inmates in order to hopefully protect herself and b) she’s embarrassed by the real reason, which is for petty crimes like shoplifting and trespassing that added up to a short sentence and fines she was not able to pay, which lengthened her sentence to as long as it takes to pay off those fines + interest + prison fees in very low-wage labour; thoughtless mistakes and things she did for the rush have ruined her life and she wishes it was at least something more interesting. (Ektanai, who actually is there for (arguably justified) murder, is less than thrilled by this but whatever.) They’ve been there for a while and still cry themself to sleep every night because they just want to go home.
