fully completely
elide x lorcan, modern au, friends to lovers, sfw, word count: 4427
She was spending a quiet night at home, sitting on top of her blankets because if she got beneath them she would fall asleep, surrounded by many many big big books. Elide pushed her oversized glasses up to rub her eyes. The bright lights of her laptop and tablet are giving her a headache, but she’ll push through.
Her mug of tea sat on her windowsill and had definitely long-since gone cold. It was a very strong black tea sent to her by Lorcan’s mother, one that would keep her up through a night of rigorous studying.
Elide had a sip (ice cold) as she flipped the page in her propositional logic textbook. She carefully jotted down the sequence on her tablet, then wrote very careful notes beneath it. Chewing on the inside of her mouth, she tilted her head almost completely to the side like it would make more sense on the y-axis. Her phone ringing was a blessing, and her tablet and textbook were quickly discarded.
Aelin’s name flashed across the screen, so Elide assumed she wanted to drool over how good Rowan Whitethorn looks in his teeny little rugby shorts. Personally she thought Lorcan looked better. Not that she would ever admit that.
“Hello-o?”
“Elide, are you at home?”
Elide blinked, looking around (like she needs to confirm that she is, indeed, at home). “Um, yeah? What’s up?” She cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder as she pulled her notebook closer. “I don’t think I need to be at home necessarily for you to freak out over Rowan’s butt.”
“Something happened during the game, and Lorcan’s hurt.”
“Excuse me?”
“Lorcan’s hurt. He took a really, really, nasty tackle, and it did something bad—like, bad—to his knee, and—”
“How bad? Hospital bad?”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s why I called, they just took him off in the ambulance, and he— well, he just kept shouting at somebody, anybody, to call Elide, to call, call, call, so I said I would, so that’s why I’m—”
“What hospital?” Elide demanded. She was rushing through her bedroom, she couldn’t go to the hospital in her ratty sweatpants and holey t-shirt, and she wasn’t wearing shoes. And Aelin kept going on about irrelevant details.
“Don’t you dare think about driving yourself, Rowan’s on his way,” Aelin told her. “He’ll be there in two minutes, be ready.”
Elide was too rattled to say good-bye, and she shoved into her bag, along with her keys and wallet, and the packet of Lorcan’s important documents because according to their mothers the inseparable friends were only ever responsible when it comes to each other, so they’d both been sent off to university in the big city with emergency packets for emergencies. And this was definitely an emergency.
Their mothers had been so wrong. Elide was not prepared for this in any way.
✵✵✵✵✵
“Elide, Elide, wait a minute,” Rowan shouted as she tried to leave the car before he’d even fully stopped.
She had already gotten halfway across the parking lot by the time he clicked the ‘lock’ button.
In the lobby, she almost crashed into the front desk. The man sitting there hardly startled, Elide thinks he was probably used to the distraught in this line of work. “How can I help you?”
“My— um, Lorcan? Salvaterre? He was hurt, and he’s supposed to be here,” she spoke too fast, she knew this, but when she was on a roll, there was no way to stop it. Elide put the packet of Lorcan’s documents on the desk. “I have all the things you could need, lists of medications he’s taken, his health card, his birth certificate, everything.”
“Ok, ok, that’s very helpful,” the man said kindly. “I haven’t heard anything, so I’ll just look him up, see where he’s at, ok?”
Elide clung to the edge of the desk. “Ok,” she whispered in a shaking voice.
In two minutes, Rowan was calmly escorting Elide to Lorcan’s emergency bay. There were minimal machines and minimal staff, both of which calmed her immensely.
Lorcan sat there with a stoney expression, his right leg propped up on a pile of pillows, arms crossed over his chest. He still had on his kit with mud and blood smeared across it.
She didn’t think much of it, though, hardly even recognised it. She was doing this thing he calls ‘fluttering’ (anxious tics) where her hands wouldn’t stop moving—they couldn’t decide what to deal with first. “Lor,” she started, blinking back tears. “What happened?”
“Illegal tackle, did—” he winced when a nurse prods his knee, biting back a harsh word or two. “I think something tore.”
“No,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Really?” He just lifted his hand, imploring her silently. Elide took it as she turned to the nurse. “Can I stay here?” She thought she looked determined enough that the nurse knew she’d put up a fight if the answer was no. Elide would refrain from being difficult (challenging, Lorcan always corrected). It just never went well for people who tried to get between them. They’d been that way all their lives (near all their lives, Elide said, they’d only known each other since the first day of kindergarten).
“Sure, honey,” the nurse said. “There’s a stool just there, if you need it.”
Elide had already seated herself on the edge of Lorcan’s bed. She smiled, shrugging, “I’m fine here. I’ll get out of the way, if you need it.” The nurse raised her brows and nodded slowly, then looked at Rowan, who just gave her an apologetic smile. Neither Elide nor Lorcan caught it, though. “Have you called your mom?”
“Not yet. She’s gonna freak.”
She moved, like she meant to stand. “Well, someone needs to, I can go.”
“Now, ‘lide?” he asked. She looked down at him and saw the poorly hidden fear in his eyes. Lorcan rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand which was the closest he’d get to asking her to stay outright.
Elide didn’t say anything either, just nodded a bit. “Scooch, then. You’re taking up all the space.”
“It’s my bed,” he argued while easing over.
“So what?” When she leaned back, his right arm and the side of his chest were beneath her back. He wrapped it around her shoulders while she over him with a critical eye. “You have mud on your face.”
“Oh, yeah?” He wouldn’t tell her (again) that that tended to happen during rugby matches. Instead, he just leaned his face towards her and lewdly suggested, “Why don’t you lick it off?”
“The closest my mouth will ever get to your face is if I spit on it,” she snitted. She ignored that little voice in her head reminding her of that one forgotten night (a complete lack of remembrance on his part) and something about her in his lap, hands in his hair, his on her ass, mouths melding together.
“Your biting wit is just what I needed. I think my ACL has fully healed, it’s a modern miracle.”
“You know what, Lor, I think this whole ‘I want to be an engineer’ thing is a mistake. Have you considered a career in comedy?”
“Oh, yes. I think everyday that I should’ve never ignored that tent at the club fair,” Lorcan sighed dramatically.
“There’s always next year.”
The nurse looked at Rowan. “Are they always like this?”
“Yes. I’m very sorry.”
“Right then.” She put Lorcan’s chart back and walked out, pulling the curtain shut behind her.
Rowan said drily, “It’s only been a minute, and you two have already driven someone away. Is that a new record for you two?”
“Mmm,” Elide put her finger to her chin like she was really thinking. “Nope, I think the all-time record is thirty-seven seconds. Lor?”
“I concur. Thirty-seven seconds, grade nine.”
“Ooh, but remember thirty-eight-point-oh-three seconds in grade four?”
“How could I forget?”
Rowan clapped his hands together. “I’m glad to see your spirits have been restored. I’ll let the team know.” He looked to Lorcan. “Keep me updated?”
“I will,” Elide said. “See ya, Rowan. Oh, hey, could you give Aelin a ride home? I saw her loitering with Fenrys.”
His pale cheeks turned a delightful shade of raspberry red, and he stuttered out something that sounded like ‘yes’ before making his exit with haste.
The dark-haired pair waited half a minute, till they were sure he was out of ear shot, before turning to each other.
“I didn’t know little miss matchmaker was visiting me in the hospital,” Lorcan snickered.
“I was very busy, I must say, but I figured I could fit you into my schedule.”
“I’m eternally grateful.”
“As you should be, I’m little miss matchmaker.”
He smiled a bit, then laid his head on her shoulder. “Thanks for coming.”
Elide squeezed his hand. “Anytime, kid.”
✵✵✵✵✵
The mattress sorely lacked and the pillows were like flat slabs of wet concrete beneath his head. Lorcan stared up at the yellow ceiling. The colour made him nauseous, he thought, or maybe it was the painkillers.
He had been moved into another room, out of the emergency room, a few hours ago. They thought he’d have his surgery in two days. Normally, the process wouldn’t be so quick, or so he was told, but with his “compounding history” (the doctor’s way of telling Lorcan he had fucked up his knee too many times), it was best to get him in sooner than later for optimal recovering.
Lorcan turned his head to the door. “Yo, Lochan! Get in here, woman.”
Elide popped her head in, holding her finger to her lips. He made a face at her because what the fuck was that? She could be so prim and prissy sometimes. “I’m on the phone, you beast. And this is a hospital, keep it down.”
“So?” he whispered. That IV drip pumping opioids into his veins was really doing its job. Everything seemed foggy, and he thought Elide was glowing.
“If you behave like a good boy, I’ll give you a treat,” she said with a too-cheery smile.
He mimed locking his lips together, nodding very seriously.
Fifteen minutes later, Elide walked back in. “Hey, I snuck down to the cafeteria and got some tea. Well, hot chocolate for you.” She put it on the little tray attached to his bed..
Lorcan glanced at it, then flicked his eyes up to her. “Don’t want it.”
“Aw, really?” she faked a pout as she sat in the stiff chair next to him. “But I had them make it extra special.”
“‘m not in the mood,” he said. “And they probably made it from the powder, not real stuff.”
Elide laughed a bit, “Yeah, probably.” She watched him for a moment. “You ok?”
Lorcan shrugged. “My stomach feels off.” He held up his arm and the needle stuck in it. “I don’t like this.”
She frowned a bit. “We can ask someone to fix the dosage, Lor. I read that nausea is a common side effect to opioids.” Sitting up, she tapped his arm. “Should I go ask?”
“Please. I want my hot cocoa.”
“And you deserve it.” She pinched his cheek. “I’ll be back, don’t have an overdose before then, ok?”
“I’ll try.”
“Look at you, already back to your old self!” Elide clasped her hands together and shook them to the high heavens like she was praising the gods. “Don’t miss me too much.”
Lorcan just smiled easily. “‘kay.” He tried to watch the clock to wait for her arrival, but the drugs were doing their job too well (the whole reason for her departure; maybe he should’ve just sucked it up). Suddenly, the bed and the blanket and the pillows were the most comforting things he’d ever felt. His knee didn’t hurt. Actually, Lorcan couldn’t feel anything anymore. He blinked slower, slower, slower, until his eyelids were too heavy to open anymore.
✵✵✵✵✵
It only took her a short while to track down Lorcan’s doctor. She caught him when the man exited the bathroom (she was dedicated) and immediately started talking at him about all of Lorcan’s issues with the drugs. “—and he doesn’t even want his hot chocolate! I mean, he doesn’t seem like one for sweets, well, he isn’t really, but he loves hot chocolate,” she explained. “And he’s not himself, at all. He said they made him feel weird, I would really like it if you could adjust them? Or at least see him, so we can—“
“Of course,” the doctor said, his tone a mixture of shock (probably at the speed of her speech, Elide shocked many people with how quickly she can speak) and irritation. “I’ll check in with him, alright?” Elide bounced on her toes expectantly. The man thinned his lips. “I guess I can check now.”
“Great,” she smiled..
In Lorcan’s room, Elide found the slumbering boy. A little part of her melted. She stood next to his bed while the doctor (she should probably try and catch his name next time) put on hand sanitiser. “Lor?” she started in a low tone. She rubs his arms with her knuckles. “Wake up, the doctor’s here.”
It took a while, but he did regain consciousness. He was only able to say one soft ‘hi’ before the doctor was there with Lorcan’s chart, brusquely asking questions about how he felt. Elide helped supply some answers that Lorcan was too spacey to recall. In the end, the dosage was reduced almost completely.
She felt relieved, brushing her fingers over his wrist. “Good?” He nodded, still a bit too tired for words. She smiled, “Good.”
“Visiting hours are over in five minutes,” interrupted the doctor. “And we don’t make exceptions.”
“Oh,” Elide deflated a bit. “Um, right, I’ll just get my things, then.”
The doctor nodded once and cast a judgmental look across them before leaving.
“Don’t go,” Lorcan asked.
“I’m sorry,” she answered. “I don’t wanna get in trouble.”
He mumbled something before sighing and sulking. “Fine.”
“Don’t pout, you big baby. I’ll be back in the morning, first thing.”
“You promise?”
“I’ll break down the doors if they’re even a minute late opening up for visitors,” she swore with a big smile.
“Mm, sounds very reasonable.”
“That’s me, Reasonable Elide. They call me that.”
“Oh, yes, I’ve heard.” There was a little lull in the exchange of banter, and Lorcan glanced around her at the door. He looked back at her, reaching for her hand. “You’re really going?”
Elide twisted her lips to the side. “Um,” she looked over her shoulder, “I can probably stay till the drugs wear off. And you feel better.” She sat back down in the chair, squeezing his fingers. “Did you talk to your mom?”
“Mmm, yeah. Did you?”
She chuckled. “Yeah, and my mom, too. She says hi, by the way, and that she’s sorry… I’m under strict instructions to monitor your condition,” she said the last word in a very dramatic tone.
Lorcan snorted, “Like you need anyone to give you instructions to micromanage me.”
They both knew it was true, so Elide just shrugged with an innocent small smile. The same could be said about Lorcan, too. She tracked her eyes over him, they snagged on his knee propped on a mountain of pillows and tightly wrapped. Something in her face sobered, and she said, in a tone quiet and weak, “Just figures your worst injury happens when I’m not there.”
He went quiet too, watching her carefully. She had always been the more serious out of the two of them. She took on too much responsibility, and he probably never did enough to ease that self-imposed burden (he tried, though).
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“You’re the one that calls me your good luck charm, look what happens when I’m not here. If I, your good luck charm, were there, then you would not have been hurt—“
“Can we cool it with the conditional statements? This isn’t a logic class, Lee—“
“—but I was not there, and therefore you did get hurt.”
“You can’t honestly think it was your fault.” She turned her face away, only a bit, but Lorcan knew. He held back a sigh, wanted to do more to comfort her besides words she wouldn’t listen to, but he had to settle. “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault except for the Rifthold player who hit me.”
Her brows got a most fierce crease. “I’m so mad at him,” she admitted. “He should be suspended.”
“He is getting suspended, three games.”
“Should be more,” Elide muttered. “And he should be counting his lucky stars I wasn’t there.” He grinned at how impossible she was being. The girl caught his grin but misinterprets it. Her frown deepened. “You’re laughing at me.”
“No, never. I think I know better than anybody not to get on a Lochan’s bad side.” She laughed softly, nodding. “I’m gonna be ok.”
“You wouldn’t be saying that just to make me feel better?”
“Me?” He shook his head. “No… never.”
“Right,” Elide agreed. “Never.”
✵✵✵✵✵
It was the next night, and she had been at his side, as promised, since visiting hours started. Besides the occasional run to the cafe across the street (the hospital cafeteria and the nurse’s lounge on any floor have subpar coffee), Elide hadn’t left. Rowan and Vaughan had come by earlier before practice but couldn’t stay too long. Elide and Lorcan were in a rare form today, truly doing some of their best work.
Things had quieted down, though, since visiting hours were technically over and had been for an hour. He was tired, too. Elide’s phone lay on his bed and they shared a pair of earbuds, listening to her newest (highly curated and researched) playlist.
She sat beside his hospital bed, one knee drawn up onto the chair. Because it was them, this also was not a new situation for them. He’d been there in grade eight when Elide had appendicitis (she had collapsed in gym class from the pain, and Lorcan had expressed all the anger and threats a very angry fourteen year old could until they let him ride with her ambulance, and when his mom had come to pick him up, she’d been so upset with him but forgave him the second she saw the tears he’d kept hidden from Elide) and she’d been in the ER with him for every stupid injury (she was the one who made him go in the first place, and there was a lot of things Lorcan never did, and listening to Elide wasn’t one of them).
Already had he sunk down so he was at her level, and Elide leaned towards him with her hand on the mattress. All of the sudden, she pulled out her earbud. He roused a bit, enough to press pause. “I don’t want to go home,” she said. “Do you think they’ll kick me out?”
“Maybe not tonight,” Lorcan answered. His voice was quiet, heavy with sleep, but he’d push through if it meant talking to her. He looked at her with no small amount of adoration. She’d been entertaining him all day. Now, Elide can talk, but she wasn’t chatty the way he wasn’t chatty. She was only this talkative when she was nervous. “You nervous about tomorrow?”
“Like, yeah? It’s kinda this big thing, and it’s—“ she cut herself off. He could tell she was stopping a tangent before it began. She could list every possible bad outcome she saw in her mad scour of the internet. It was a classic Elide thing. She just gave him a thin-lipped smile, “Yeah, I’m nervous.” She reached out to take his hand, loosely locking her fingers around his. “How d’you feel?”
He focussed on the feel of her hand in his. “‘m kinda scared, I guess. Surgery is a big thing,” he said as he looked up at her. “And it might just— make everything worse, y’know? I might never get to play again, and I know that sounds just like what a dumb jock is worried about but.” He shrugged. “I’m scared.”
“You can be worried about that,” she said, fierce. “You get to feel worried about that, it’s not you being a jock thing, it’s important. And you aren’t dumb, you’re very smart, and I know I make jokes about you being in engineering, but that’s a rigorous program.”
Lorcan half-smiled at her immediate jump to his defence, even if he was the one putting himself down. He rubbed his thumb over hers. His fingers fidgetted in hers just to touch her more; he tapped the pads of his fingers against the grooves between each skeletal digit, he squeezed against her hand so that her palm would lay flat against his. Elide wore this small smile, amused. She was used to this type of touch from him.
She was used to a lot of types of his touch, only the most intimate kinds still left undiscovered.
They stared at each other, eye to eye, in a kind of silence that was new to them. Which was weird, because not a lot was new to them. It was filled with tension that they separately tracked back to that one party. They both got a little too drunk, a little too stoned—it had been the last day of finals, and Aedion had managed to throw together a decent kickback for the team and any friends they wanted to bring along. Elide, of course, had been invited but went as Lorcan’s plus-one. At least, when she came in, Lorcan was by her side, an arm stretched across her shoulders in a manner that was both familiar and very casually territorial (she didn’t mind it).
Lorcan couldn’t remember who kissed who first, but this time it was going to be him. Elide wouldn’t do it, because she had always been more comfortable with the tension between them. She could sit in discomfort; Lorcan, on the other hand, had no patience These past years had been a testament to his will, honestly.
He disentangled his hand from hers only to curl it around the back of her neck, high enough that his fingers splay across the base of her skull. Elide sucked in a sharp breath which was the only way she ever showed her nerves. Lorcan didn’t want her to be nervous though, and he knew it would go away so soon because he always knew how to calm her down (he was the only person who had ever been able to talk Elide off any sort of ledge).
Even though they’d never done this that they remembered clearly, every motion came easily. He somehow knew already the slide of her nose against his, the way the bridge of hers fits against the high curve of his cheek. Lorcan’s lips brushed over hers; he waited, always always giving her an out, but she didn’t take it. He kissed her slowly still because he needed to savour this moment. He only went as far as she let him.
When her lips parted, his tongue stroked against hers for a brief moment. Elide’s hand pressed against his cheek. He had never felt this way before. It was a dam breaking, both explosively spontaneous and a force of nature, something that was always bound to happen. In his mind, this was what he should’ve been doing for years now.
She hummed against his mouth, and he took it as a sign to pause. Neither of them went far; they really only parted enough so technically they weren’t kissing anymore. Lorcan read the mild alarm in her eyes and said the only thing he could think of: “I love you, y’know?”
Whatever nerves it had been dissolved. Elide pecked his bottom lip. “I love you too. Near all my life.” She stood up, and his chest seized like his heart was about to give up which it would if she left him after that kiss and telling him she loves him. The girl’s head tilted as she looked down at him; she thought he was an idiot. “Scooch, that chair’s uncomfortable.”
Relief flooded through him, enough to make him sit up and kiss her again, hands holding the sides of her head. Elide giggled against his lips, her hands touching his wrists, “Did you really think I was leaving?” She kissed him back and said lovingly: “Stupid boy.”
“C’mere,” he answered. He shifted over a bit but not that much. They broke their embrace, and Elide carefully climbed onto the insufficient mattress.
She made herself comfortable against his side. This, too, was familiar. Except this time, Elide hooked her leg over his own (the uninjured one), and when she tucked her face into his neck, she pressed her lips to the point of his pulse.
He slanted himself to the side so he could kiss her some more. She giggled between each one, sliding her fingertips across his cheek. “Why’re you laughin,” he whispered. Pulling back, he gave her a fake glare. “Huh?”
“Nothing,” she laughed. “C’mon, it’s nothing, it’s not you, or this.” Elide kissed him to prove it. “I really like this,” she murmured. “Really, huge fan of this, and you. Big, big, biggest fan of you.”
“So it’s a good laugh?”
“A very good laugh.” She tried to stop it, but the smile broke through anyway. “I’m sorry, I just,” her eyes were wide and bright, “didn’t really think this was ever going to happen.”
“Yeah? Not even after that party?”
“You!” Elide smacked his shoulder, and he hissed. “You remembered that?!”
“Did you?” he retorted.
“Well, yeah, but,” she spluttered, “I didn’t think you did, and I didn’t want to, like, ruin our friendship or whatever.” She deflated a bit, losing her irate confidence. “I’ve been in love with you for a very long time. And you are my favourite person in the world—“
“After Aelin, and Manon, and my mom—“
She laughed, “No, above all. You are my number one boy.”
“You are my number one girl.”
Elide nudged her nose against his. “Am I your one number one boy, too?”
“Yes.”
“Over Rowan?”
“Most definitely,” he nodded with a serious look on his face. “Rowan doesn’t kiss me when I get boo-boos.”
“He should, you’re a good kisser.”
“I’ll let him know.”
“I can do that, you’ll be too busy kissing me.”
Lorcan pressed his lips to hers, and they didn’t talk again for a while.
✵✵✵✵✵
an: hope you enjoyed!
tag list: @sassyhobbits @empress-ofbloodshed @screamingwines @the-regal-warrior @shyvioletcat @julemmaes (lmk if you want to be added/removed)
