Blog of a Recovering Hermit
I feel like I need to relearn how to Tumblr ;-;
It's actually kind of funny. I leave for one year, and suddenly I've forgotten basic Tumblr functions lol, like a fish out of water. But I'll get back into the flow of things eventually. All in good time. It still feels odd to post again. You know that feeling when you haven't touched a hobby in a very long time, and then when you do come back to it, you actually need to take some time to rediscover who you were before you left the hobby. Or when you need to 're-introduce' yourself to a part of you that you've suppressed for a long time because you've had to focus on more pressing issues.
That's kind of what it feels like now. Between now and January last year, the thing that came in between it all was a crisis involving my family (and quite on brand for this particular family, it lasted for quite literally the rest of the year). I'm not gonna go into details, not because I'm not willing to talk about it, but because it's an exhaustive list of events, and I'm ready to close that chapter rather than giving it more rent than it's due.
Essentially, 2025 was a back-breaker on all fronts. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually... it challenged my core values, pulled my loyalties in opposite directions, opened old wounds, pitted me against loved ones, tested my faith, and opened my eyes to how truly wicked mankind can be. Simply put, I was living in a climate of constant stress. You don't have any motivation or desire to work on your hobbies in such a climate, and it's even affected my job productivity. By the time I got a vacation in December, I was so extremely burned out that I practically went into hibernation. No human contact whatsoever, none, nada, zilch. My sister thought I died lol. But it was exactly what I needed. A very long break away from work and people gave me some rejuvenation, and by the time February rolled around, the end of the family-crisis-saga was finally in sight. There are still some loose ends, but it's nowhere near as unbearable as the storm itself had been. I can finally breathe, without dreading what tomorrow may bring.
All of this to say, now that I am back online, I do feel a little ghasted.
Numb is not quite the right word, nor is indifference, but I definitely feel like I've grown 5 years older in just 1 year.
It's the kind of mental fatigue where I cannot yet bring myself to slip back into my hobbies as I used to. Reading books, drawing and painting for pleasure, even just listening to music became something that required effort and motivation that I had become empty of. Now that the storm is over, my cup is slowly filling back up again. But it will take time.
I still love PMATGA, and as old as this show is, my stubborn self still cannot quite let go of it, especially not until I finish what I wanted to set out for with my fanfics (and there are many of them). But I'll admit, I cannot yet bring myself to easily fall back into the old flow of working consistently on fan-works. The ideas are there, but the drive still has some catching up to do. But I trust it will get there.
This blog is really just me doing a little recap and reflecting on the past year, and where I stand now. Happy to report that 2026 has actually been treating me a little better so far!
Writing this is also my start into getting back into writing in general, as I've been so out of practice with writing any stories that I may have forgotten how to do it haha. Looking back on 2025, there had at least been some moments of good amongst the bad. One particularly wonderful moment was when I was baptized on 25 May 2025. This was still relatively early in the year, before the worst of the storm had yet come, and I believe it was the covering of the Holy Spirit that had given me the strength to pull through. I've been on a long journey with God, and though my faith has certainly been tested in 2025, today I look back and I feel stronger for it. There was no greater comfort than being surrounded by a supportive church family, and holding onto the promise of hope through Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour.
I don't have a plan or a schedule in mind for what my next few posts or activity will be, though I do look forward to sharing some new PMATGA art I've made before the hiatus. It's the NextGen concepts that I've teased last year, the ones that I didn't get to posting the finished versions of, due to the hiatus. All it just needs is some tweaks. So either that, or maybe some other PMATGA sketches to warm things up first.
Other than that, updates to my fanfics will unfortunately take a little bit longer to get to. But I will get to it, all in good time!
I want to take a moment to thank everyone who's reblogged and commented on my previous posts with warm welcomes. I honestly didn't know what to expect in coming back online after a year of radio silence. It took me a bit by surprise to see the number of people welcoming me back, and it warmed my heart <3 I appreciate ya'll immensely!
May 2026 treat you gently, may your cup overlfow with goodness, and may you be blessed with grace in abundance.
Until the next blog,
-Ell.
"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. - James 1: 2-4, New Living Translation
