[hatchetdoll]

another secret santa gift, teehee

[moggiem]

The fact that the defective turrets have masculine voices, whereas the normal turrets have feminine voices, implies some really fascinating stuff about the manufacturing processes at Aperture. Arguably, it's canon that part of the process of making a functioning turret is to forcefem her.

[porcyworld]

furiously searching online "what do animals do out in a rainstorm" while it's raining

[porcyworld]

nobody worry too much because they all produce various oils and have different densities of fur to keep them dry and warm as well as seek out shelter under thick vegetation

[thecrabbybarista]

4 hours of sleep and I watched Obsession fuckkkkk

[256gb]

i just ate a bunch of differentberries but i feel the same

[dogpuppy]

[museum-of-artifacts]

Parchment holes in manuscript repaired using embroidery circa 1417, currently in University Library Uppsala, Sweden

[devilishdescent]

pokemon is about siccing your dog on a creature that is intrinsically, biologically, a baby mime

[devilishdescent]

pokemon is about an act your dog can perform on someone else’s dog, which sports announcers and scientists alike are calling “gunk shot”

[despazito]

they just added sparkledogs to the kennel club registry

[despazito]

[despazito]

they carried a generation

[rnismatch]

half life 1 scientist in the gps in my car sayin shit like "My God! What are you doing?" when i make a wrong turn

[veggiecrunch-art]

What if Toriel had that shit on

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[courtesycalling]

Happy mušḫuššu monday everybody

(Photo credit: Osama Shukir Muhammed Amin FRCP(Glasg), CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

[jame7t]

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

[jame7t]

not me though. im girl with tanktop

[bish0ps]

Green onion mantra

[threedollarsdotcom]

dont talk to me or my clone or my shadow self or my reflection or my me ever again

[dmdog]

It lives in the arcade and leaves sticky little footprints on the linoleum. Naming it Gumble