still wash ashore
I envy your glitter, you sparkle and shine, and I love that you’re so fucking kind.
You’ll never know what it’s like, to struggle as I have. You’ll never know the fear I carry with me, long after my knuckles stop bleeding and I get something to eat.
The world wanted you in it, you found a kinder path. I’m sure falling down’s easier when you have a place to lay your head and, fulfilling dreams is more likely if you’re comfortable.
When I left there was no going back, when I fell, I had to learn to love the ground. There were no hands lifting me up, only the claws I’d grown to help dig me out of this pit.
Now I’m just over here all covered in dirt, using spit and tears and all the brilliant fucking insight I’ve gained into ‘the way out’, to know I’ll never know what it feels like not to feel cold. Even after I pull my meaningless broken ass out of this hole. Even if I clean up real good and the world gives a shit about my existence, I’ll still envy you. Love and envy you. I wish more people were like you. I wish I could’ve been like you.
