#entry13

[spes-elpis]

8/05/2021

i painted the entire kitchen ceiling and walls today! pretty proud of myself for actually doing it and not just saying it. the original walls and ceiling were a tan-ish almond-ish light beige-y color. the house is eighties with formally white color carpets and aslant tall ceiling on one half of the house that is such a waste of space. but painting the kitchen white and i think ill be painting the cabinets a dark olive green. and then Mac will be installing a nice (fake) wood floor.

last night i had a kinda bad dream. so not really bad nor was it a nightmare, it just kinda sucked. i was getting bagged on by my whole family. just comments and judgements about me and everything about me. i feel like i have to be this perfect thing for everyone and if i deviate, even a little bit, im a selfish bitch. but that's how i felt a lot when i was younger. where as now, i realize i don't care because it really doesn't matter and it doesn't make any sense to let others dictate everything about you and your own world and how you live. Mac has really helped me realize this for myself. instead of thinking oh i shouldn't be like this” or “oh i have to do that or else they will blah blah” i should instead think “its okay that i don't agree with her” or “its okay to say no i don't want to do that”. so that weird and suckish dream i had is kinda funny being awake. though im still not immune to hurt feelings from being verbally picked on everything about me. i can at least move forward and i can be happy and okay with MY choices and MY actions.

[frankiescolorpics]

Frans Lanting -

“This exhibition, Into Africa, was produced by the National Geographic Society with support from the World Wildlife Fund. It was launched at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C., where it was on display for more than a year and was seen by more than three million visitors.”

http://lanting.com/projects/into-africa/

[dry-soliloquies]

Looking back, it has only been more than a month since my last blog post. But to me, it felt longer than that. Even though, I did realize that days pass by quickly and even before I knew it, a month has already passed.

How come I came into that realization from a different point of view now?

Well, it’s because I’m working. For over a month now.

Crazy. I know.

I just found myself working under a national government agency, which I dreamed of after getting my civil service eligibility; and working in Manila which I never thought about even when I was in college and was choosing schools. But here I am now. Here I am.

So far, my work has been pretty good. I have good people around me who are mostly in their 50s or 60s which is pretty great since it feels like having grandparents around me. I also have a new officemate who I could relate to even though she’s 7 years older than me.

But with this comes anxiety as well. Like knowing that this is it. I’m now a working adult with responsibilities. As soon as I get my first paycheck, I will have to contribute to our household and save some for myself. But that’s not a major part of why I feel anxious.

It’s about the Individual Performance Commitment Review which I need to pass every 3 months now since I’m still a regular, then every 6 months if or when I get to be officially regular at my job post.

It’s scary. It’s like an exam. It’s like needing to get that 4.00 GPA if I want to stay in the program.

And of course, me being my little anxious self, questions if I could do this. If I could achieve what is expected of me. If I could.

If I really could...

[a-witch-s-scrapbook]

#LikeAGirl

I chose this campaign, as I have talked about it in other classes, and have a strong opinion about it. I don’t like this campaign, and feel as if it does more harm than good. It makes a slogan that is usually used as an insult to women, like a girl, and tries to make it an empowerment slogan. In my opinion though, it makes it come off as lifting up women in a way that doesn’t make them equal. We don’t tell a boy that he’s doing something like a man, or try to use it in the same context for transgendered people. To make it equal, I think it should be more about, well, doing something that is human, that way it applies to everyone that watches the commercial. Or, just try and get rid of it in the first place, making it not an insult anymore, but just getting rid of it. The term is very gendered and stereotyping. As I learned in my social psychology class, stereotypes don’t always have to be negative, but they can still harm people. The #LikeAGirl campaign does more harm than good, keeping its heavily gendered background, even in its revision, and excludes any boy, or anyone who identifies as a boy, or even anyone who doesn’t align with the binary gendered spectrum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJQBjWYDTs

[denlergoldbergwise]

Interview with a Music Teacher

My mom is a music Teacher at Hendrick Hudson High School, so i decided to get some wisdom from her on how to be the best music Teacher I can. I asked her "What are the top ten things you would tell a new Music Teacher" and she said this:

1- Stay ahead of all your work

2- Always be professional

3-Love your students and realize they are real people with feelings

4-Providing a good experience for the choir is better than making the choir sound great

5-Admit it if youre wrong and own up to your mistakes

6-Stay Incredibly organized with paperwork and music

7-Develop good relationship with collegues and bosses

8-Be a role model for students

9-Stay current and up to date with education trends and new music

10-Be passionate about what you do because it will rub off on your students

[sukinyeam]

i xxviii xvii

Babe.. sorry nakatulog ako. ): wala na namang call. Miss na miss na kita.

[heavenfabianaarts]

This is one of the first trials that I did. I uploaded all photos in the iMovie and was not able to get rid of the bad ones with my hand showing. I was experimenting on how the shapes will form and how it will develop. I find the second spiral a bit boring. Also, I didn’t include the music yet. 

I made this before the video posted before this. 

I tried to edit all the photos in Photoshop so it's aligned but it takes so long and my laptop keeps hanging up. Photo above is a screenshot of the iMovie for this clip. 

[transpupa-blog]

Rough day, today. No energy whatsoever to even try to correct people (at work) on my pronouns, especially after they did well for a bit. It is a vicious cycle. Some days it is harder than others. I am wore out. Tired. Please just respect me.