What is your advice to those with confidence issues on horses? I'm 26 y/o and had a bad fall last year, which I just had surgery to fix. I can't seem to get my confidence back - it waxes and wanes. Do you have any recommendations?
First, I’m so sorry about your fall and not knowing specifics my advice may not be helpful. If what I say doesn’t feel right to you, come back and let me know the scenario.
Get rid of your expectations and timelines. It sounds like you’ve been expecting yourself to regain confidence on a timeline and I totally understand a year *feels* like it ought to be enough but my god, you needed surgery! Give your brain a break… just because your body has healed doesn’t mean your mind has.
A serious fall, or horse related injury in general is so traumatic and can make you feel exactly as small and weak as we are compared to our partners. The reminder of how fast you can loose control can take a LONG time to get over. Give yourself grace, not a timeline.
Next, pay attention to when your confidence waxes and wanes. When are you most confident? DO MORE OF THAT! Do so much of it, it becomes boring. Listen to your body, when it’s time to up to challenge, you’ll know.. and the increases don’t have to be big, they just have to exist.
When are you most anxious or fearful? If you feel safe enough to analyze WHY, while you’re riding, do it. It helps to have an understanding trainer in these instances, it’s ok to need your hand held. When you can identify what saps your courage you can work with it, you can own it and you can start to move on.
I speak from experience, it took me YEARS to regain confidence on the ground after the first time I was kicked, a kick that fractured my scapula and earned me a major shoulder reconstruction. I wouldn’t even walk Jovie down hills when I first got her, I’ve always had volunteers and students to do it for me… I really had to force myself to step into that fear and realize my injury was a natural consequence of my job.. I either need to accept that inevitability or find a new job. I don’t know when the adrenaline response to a horse being behind me stopped, all I know is one day I wasn’t scared. Repetition with safe horses was key for me… and letting myself be scared but doing it anyways. When I was kicked again last year and broke my pelvis my mental recovery time was significantly less.. it’s been nearly a year and I’m still jumpy but I can work through it. I might be more cautious but the fear doesn’t rule my life.
I really hope there’s some value in this for you.
