Eren died early in his first lifetime spent with the love of his life. They exhausted all knowledge available, experiments, and and scoured every inch of history in order to save Eren from Ymir's curse, still he died.
Levi vows that he will find him in their next life and love him better—longer. Even if it takes him thousands of years, Levi vowed to find him and give him the life they weren't able to have together.
And they did, they loved each other so much that they found each other. With their memories intact, the universe's fucked up way to help them and make them pay for all the sufferings and death's from their first life.
Levi and Eren found each other in all lifetimes. They met, fell in love, and they part ways; a vicious cycle.
Still, fate seems like they have a different plan for them. Eren died—dies at the same age, over and over again.
Levi had all the time and lifetime in the world but never enough time with Eren. All the time in the world is never enough for Levi when it comes to Eren.
Levi wants to marry him, live with him, grow old with him, and fuck—maybe even build a family with him but whenever he meets Eren, he was still in college and he would die just before or after he gets out of it.
Levi was tired and heartbroken.
And Eren knew it.
He knows that Levi was the one burdened with all of this being the one left alone after he's done—dead. So he decided, he would let Levi go after this lifetime.
rating, tw: teen and up. alcohol, emetophobia, fist fights, bruises, panic attacks, blood
content: depression/anxiety, angst, hurt/comfort, levi takes care of eren, non sexual intimacy, domestic, tea, showering together💕
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"Eren, love, what have you done?" Levi soothes, his voice hitting Eren right in his heart. It aches, the discomfort radiates outwards and Eren hurts all over - he doesn't deserve Levi's affection. Embarrassment and shame floods his veins and Eren feels leaden, a heavy force sinking him to the ocean's deepest depths.
"Please make it stop," Eren whispers, his throat raw, from the sobbing or the vomit he's not sure. More likely than not, both.
"Let's get you out of here, hey?" Levi queries, leaning over the edge of the bath as he runs his fingers through Eren's hair. His touch eases Eren's pain, although Eren loathes to admit his dependence. "Come on, love, can you stand?"
The Fine Line Between Life and Death (Ereri Mini Bang Fic)
Yoooooo! Here’s my fic that I wrote for the Ereri Mini Bang hosted by @ererievents !! ^~^/
I got paired up with the wonderful and sweet and talented artist @morebeesthanyoucouldimagine
You can see their artwork for my fic here !!!
Please go check it out!! I love it so much, I got enamoured of the art as soon as I saw the first drafts!! I love how it contains all essential points of my story without revealing too much X) Thank you so so so much for the amazing drawing, Kayu!!
And now to my fic :D
[Link]
Title: The Fine Line Between Life and Death
Rating: Mature (M)
Word Count: 19k
Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Step-Brothers, Step-Sibling Incest, Angst, Heavy Angst, there is so much angst tbh, Childhood Trauma, Family Tragedy, Death, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Mental Instability, untreated mental illnesses, Rough Sex, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Angst with feels, love obsession, Guilty thoughts, Secrets, twists, Switching between Past and Present, Ereri Mini Bang 2019
Summary: Hate me, use me, ruin me—make me forget.
Eren Jaeger has lived by that motto ever since the traumatic experience in his childhood that he was blaming himself for. Convinced that he doesn’t deserve life and love – that he is meant to suffer and inflict pain on himself –, he vegetates as a spiritless human in his room.
If it wasn’t for his step-brother Levi Ackerman, he would have starved to death years ago. As long as Levi was there, Eren had an anchor that chained him to life.
Soon enough Levi realises that his devoted efforts and dedicated love for his step-brother are not enough to prevent a catastrophe from happening that additionally reveals hidden demons of Eren’s past.
If Levi doesn’t act immediately, a second tragedy is inevitable.
I hope you all enjoy! *^*
[Teaser under the cut]
6 p.m. Levi was running late. He rushed through the alleys and pushed through the masses of people who buzzed on the main street for late afternoon shopping tours.
His anatomy class had unfortunately run longer than supposed to.
And of course it had to be on a day where Levi had preferred to come home earlier because of his step-brother. His step-brother Eren – who was also his boyfriend – had been sleeping when Levi had left (Levi had checked on that), but it had been a restless and stirring sleep, as if Eren was struggling with cascading nightmares.
There was a high chance for Eren to be in a crestfallen state today.
Eren had fallen into a deep – endless – depression many years ago, and Levi was the only one who could assist him.
"Eren?... Eren?! Get him out of there! He's not showing any response and it's been to long!" Captain Levi ordered to his squad quickly in a yell
He clenched his readied swords in his calloused hands, feeling his chest ache. He was never one to express worry or fear, but this was different. When Eren transformed during yet another one of Hanjis experiments, it went wrong. He had never seen him so out of control before, he was following orders perfectly at the start and then something snapped, a different type of fiery look in his eye that Levi hadn't seen before that gave him more than enough reason to be concerned as he roared unusually annalistically. After that, Eren then only responded to everyone yelling at him with punches or attempted biting. He swore he was a millisecond away from crushing Mikasa herself between his teeth if it wasn't for him having to act quickly and yank her away from him at the last minute, she was always too close to him, more so whenever he transformed.
He watched Mikasa manage to cut the nape precisely as usual and pull him out with little to no effort, slicing into the hot muscles and flesh that held him captive inside his titan body. Levi frowned slightly at the state his other half was in, a slight flashback coming to mind. It only lasted a moment but it felt longer...
"I am not normal... This isn't normal..." Eren lightly touched the slowly healing burn marks under his eyes and around his neck "I'm barley human, if someone hurts me, I just regenerate. I'm a freak..." He laughed sadly "I wish everyone had the same advantage, maybe then we'd keep the numbers of the regiment up and then no one would have to die in vain... Maybe I'm just... Not human at all... You don't have to be so patient with me, you don't even have to treat me as kindly you do the others... Everyone's right, I am a Monster..."
"Eren, don't spew such Bullshit at me." Levi said, a sentence that would have been a scolding to anyone else, but his tone was soft to him and him alone "You are human, you're more human that most of the people I've seen and come to know. You're not a monster, you just have fearsome beauty."
"But, Levi, you should be with-"
Levi leaned in and kissed him once to shut him up, knowing what he was about to say "No buts, I'm your Captain and you will take my word for it. That's an order, do you understand me? If you start to doubt yourself you won't be any good to anyone, so take my word for it. The moment you give up on anything, the moment you give up on yourself, you've lost."
"I..." Eren sighed softly and smiled, just barley "Yes, Sir..."
"Oi, it's after hours and we're alone. You can drop the formality." He rolled his eyes, a slight playful look on his place that replaced his usual scowl
Eren couldn't help but smile more "Yes, Levi. I understand." He said, leaning his head on his shoulder.
Levi smiled slightly and leaned his head against his as the pair looked up at the night sky filled with bright stars, as nostalgic as this felt for him, he always felt even at more peace with Eren by his side. Being with him like this was defiantly a choice he would not regret, not now, not ever. He still remembered when he sat at this exact spot with Farlan and Isabel as they talked about whatever came to mind as well as never being able to stop discussing the difference between the Underground and above it. They'd always talk about how beautiful the sky was above, never really being able to see it for themselves underground until they joined the Scouts. It was always the very thing they were thankful for. Levi didn't waste the opportunity to look down subtly, seeing the night sky reflect magnificently perfectly in the beauty that was Eren Yeagers ocean eyes, the eyes he knew how to read so well.
Levi blinked, snapping himself from his momentary thoughts when Mikasa yelling repeatedly.
"Eren?! Eren, can you hear me?!..." Mikasa yelled desperately as she tried to shake him to wake up after she took him back onto the ground with her, laying him down in her lap "Eren, come on..."
Eren was prone to comas for different lengths of time after every occasion when he transformed, him being unconscious when pulled out was a normality. Levi sighed, walking towards them when he noticed Erens body start to twitch, slowly at first but then more rapidly. His chest started to heave as he clenched his teeth together, a deep growl coming from his throat.
"Eren?..." Mikasa asked, uncertainty slowly taking over her usual monotone
Teal eyes filled with only the scorching type of fire locked onto the first person in sight as he turned quickly to lash at Mikasa, his sharp nails cutting into her face in an unexpected blow causing her to fall back and bleed. Levis eyes widened, stepping in quickly after the second long shock of him attacking his family of all people passed. He grabbed his shirt in a white knuckled grasp and yanked him up to his feet.
"What the Hell are you doing, Eren?! Snap out of it, you're human!"
Eren practically hissed, trying to hit him next. Levi managed to turn to miss the large swipe of his hand, seeing his squad run in with their swords at the ready
"Stay back!" He ordered them, trying to keep Eren at an arms length distance away from him without harm as he drew his sword.
Levi clenched his jaw as he studied Erens vicious face, he hadn't looked his angry and uncontrollable before, even if he tried. This wasn't him, this was different... Something insanely primal with no brain or feeling.
"Eren, calm down, now! That's an order!"
Eren growled again, it only getting louder the more frustrated he grew with not landing a hit. Levi huffed slightly through clenched teeth and pushed him down, his hand around his throat as he tightened it bit by bit. He swore he was breathing just as heavily as him at this rate, his hand starting to shake. He couldn't do it. He felt his heart start to crack painfully, the only slight hope keeping it together was the thought of Eren snapping out of his insanity sometime soon before he grew worse.
In a second, things were turned upside down in the blink of an eye, before Levi could even react, Eren kicked him off of him and pinned him down to the ground. His hands around his throat in a deadly grasp. Levi choughed hard when he fell onto his back, looking at the monster above him wide eyed, where did his Eren go and why wasn't he coming back?...
"E-Eren... S-Stop..." He grasped at his hands, drying to dig away rapidly at tanned skin, his eyes starting to water slightly from the sudden lack of oxygen as he glanced to his squad who were starting to shout in panic and fear, running in with their swords at the ready again "N... No! Stay There! That's a fucking order!"
"B-But Captain..."
"That's. An. Order." He spoke in short quick breaths
He looked back up at Eren again, fear and uncertainty in his steel eyes as he tried to blindly reach for his sword that dropped from his hand as a last resort.
"When the time comes, I'll be the one to kill him..."
Levi swallowed thickly as the flashback of the day of Erens court trial came to mind, he didn't want it to have to come to that, he never did, but he had to say something convincing that could give them custody of Eren. little by little, Eren dug his nails more and more into the sides of Levis throat, piercing the skin casing blood to run down his neck as he slowly impaled it. Tears suddenly rolled down Levis pale complexion and into the long strands of his dark hair, a place of Erens affection before- Only accustomed to tender kisses and loving bites by the brunet above him lips, now a place the very same person was digging into painfully for bloodshed with intent to kill, and Levi was sure that type of pain was worse than anything that Eren was doing to him physically.
"E-Eren..." He coughed, blood staining his pale lips "S-Stop... You'll kill me..."
The second someone decided to refuse his last order was the second he grabbed his blade and made a hard choice quickly, his vision starting to slightly blur and fade to black as he used the last of his strength to end the fight. He coughed violently as tears ran down his face rapidly, blood running down by each side of his now paler lips the moment Eren busted an artery by his pulse point. Levi watched as the once lost, fearful and angry eyes that were usually so beautiful start to slowly fade and become ever vacant. Before he took his last breath, Levi saw the real Eren only for a split moment just before his heart stopped beating, his eyes showing how scared and deathly sorry he was, how much pain he was in not knowing what was happening or what he did. As Levis breathing took it's tole, the last thing he saw was how much Love those eyes had for him in them once before. He knew he didn't mean it.
"I-I love you... Eren..." Levi breathed a final time before his eyes became faded just like his lovers, his hand slipping as it dripped with Erens blood from the final blow to his heart. Erens body fell against his for their final embrace in deaths wake.
So I got this idea this evening of a little angst ereri drabble, and here this thing happens. For some reasons I thought writing it in english instead of my usual french would be a good idea, and also thought why not publish it on tumblr ? So here it is read it and enjoy ?
“Why am I not enough ?"
Levi voice is fill with anger makes Eren shiver. But there is more than anger has he says those words. Fear, confusion, sadness, and above all despair that makes Eren’s heart squeeze in his chest,
"Why am I not enough for you ?"
He asks again, locking their eyes together. Eren's air escapes his lungs, as he loses himself in those piercing silver eyes, full of questions and regrets.
"Why am I not enough for you to stay?"
Eren feels like his body has turn to stone, every inch of himslef seems to be heavier, he can't move, he can't talk, he can't avert his gaze. It's not the first time they had this fight, but it certainly will be the last. Levi moves closer, kneeling next to him, and resting his forearm on his lap.
"Why are we not enough ?"
It's more than what Eren can handle. He swallows hardly, holding back his tears, and turns his face away, as he wispers :
"You know why…"
"No, I don't. I need you to tell me why."
Eren clenches his teeth hardly. That's a lie, he knows that. They've already talked about that, he already explained him why. It's not their first fight about this, but it will certainly be the last… But even as he knows that, he still he forces himself to answer.
"I can't bare to lose who I am. I don't want this, I don't want to become this way"
"So what ? You're giving up ?"
Anger flashes across Eren eyes, but disapper almost intantly as he reply.
"Yes. I'm tired. Maybe that makes me a coward, but I don't care. I had enough of this."
"So you're gonna let the illness won ? Let it took you away from me ?"
Eren laughs darkly, making Levi shiver.
"Don't you understand ? It's already over, it has always been. There is no giving up, because there is nothing left to fight for"
"You're wrong. There is us. You can fight for us."
"I'm doing this for us"
Levi's eyes widen as he hisses angrily.
"How could you say that ? How you could you, choosing to die, could be for us ?"
"Because I can't ruin your life this way! What do you think our futur will be ? It was already difficult when it was only my legs… But in a few weeks, my arms, my chest, even my mouth will be paralyze. I wouldn't be able to talk or breathe anymore. I will need a life support. I will be a burden and I refuse to be yours"
"I don't care about all of that. I don't care if I have to give up my job to take care of you. I don't care if you can't walk, I don't care if you can't drive or if I had to carry you to the bathroom at 5am everyday! I don't care if I have to be by your side every minutes for the rest of my life! I don't care as long as we are together"
"I can't let you do that. I can't let you throw away your life for me."
"You are my life Eren, I love you and I'm willing to do anythig for you"
That's too much for Eren, he can't hold back his tears anymore and lets them flow on his face.Why can't he understand? Why does he have to make it harder? He's still crying as he screams with the strenght of disaspear :
"But that doesn't matter ! I wish it does, I wish our love was enough but it isn't ! Even if I try, even if I stay, I will die anyway. You will lose me, and I will lose you. So why wait ? Why should I let the disease kill me instead of choosing how I will die ? What will be the point ? Why will a few weeks will make any difference ?"
"You don't know if it will be weeks. It might be months, or years ! Don't you see that it could make all the difference ? I can't lose you, not yet"
"maybe never." He adds after a tense silence.
"Please don't ask me to do that…"
His voice still hoarse from crying, cames out as a broken whisper.
"I am asking you to do that. I know I shouldn't. I know it's unfair, and yet I'm asking. It's probably selfish, but I don't care. If it what it takes to have more time with you then so be it"
Levi brings their forhead together and whispers softly, like a prayer.
"Please, stay"
Eren sobbs even more, feeling overwhelming by his own love, as he hears Levi begging him. How could he says no, when he can feel his love through those words ? How could he refueses, when he don't want to ? He barely have the strenght to do it before, and now he can't bring himself to find his determination back. So he nods, agreeing without a word.
They stay like that for what feels like hours, but is only minutes. Holding each other, tasting each other lips, breath, skin. Wispering promesses in the dark, and soft "I love you"
Eventually Eren breaks their embrace and says.
"I need a drink"
Levi heads to the kitchen but Eren stops him.
"Please, let me do it while I still can"
Pain flashes accross Levi's face, but he understood and reply :
"Ok, I'll wait you in bed"
Eren smile softly before turning back in his wheelchair. He makes black tea for two, adding three teaspoons of what could be sugar in Levi's cup. He lets it infuse a few minutes before joining Levi's in their bedroom. They drink the hot brevage together, enjoying the way it's warm their bodies before laying down together.
Eren lets Levi's hold him, and watch him as he closes his eyes. As he feels the body againt him relax, he know it's only a matter of seconds now before sleeping pill made their job. He do not waste time and rolls on the other side before he changes his mind, before his resolution flickers and pick up his phone.
Armin answers immediatly, probably not expecting to get a call from this ID anymore.
"Eren ?"
His voice is uncertain, as if he couldn't believe it was really him.
"Yes. Armin can you bring me to the hospital ?"
"But… I though Levi was the one-"
He interrupts himself, as he slowly understood.
"Eren you can't do that. You can't leave him this way…"
"He didn't leave me the choice" He saids firmly.
"Please Armin, just come and pick me."
"Ok. I'll be there in a few minutes"
He thanks him and hangs up. He knows he should move, getting ready before Armin arrives but instead he rolls back to Levi's side.
He looks at him closely. Looking at how his black hairs fall on his eyes, how even with his eyes closed his eybrows are still frown. Trying to memorise every line and every curve of this perfect face. He moves closer to his ears and whisper
"I love you"
He bring their lips together, tasting him one last time, letting a single tear roll from his eyes, before pulling appart. Unable to said the words that linger on his lips.
it's been so long since i had au ideas but here we go eren becomes homeless after high school he lives w friends here and there but not long and everyone ends up cutting him off so he manages one night, earlier on in his homelessness he encounters a short man murdering somebody and they lock eyes and he's scared but he walks away but the guy (obvi levi) follows him and p much asks him if he's cool w it and he's like fuck if i care and walks off and he doesn't see him again for a long time and months later he's sitting on a street with a cup for change and jeans like holy shit eren and he stays and talks for a while but erens like wtf dude we hated each other but they agree the past is the past who gives a fuck about high school reps and jean gives him a 10 bill (eren tries to refuse but accepts it w stubborn tears) and jean leaves. and then a few weeks go by erens washing his face in a public bathroom and who do ya guess jean was in a stall and comes out and they argue and eren leaves but bumps into levi on his way out of the bathroom and he's like oh shit but then he shrugs it off and leaves then jean follows him then asks him to come over and he again stubbornly accepts and then once he's there he's like take a shower u smell bad and stubbornly accepts and then it's erens first time on a real bed in a real long time so he cried in the shower then he cried in the bed next to jean and it becomes an unspoken thing between them i haven't thought of what comes after that but he prob lives there a while and there would be a meeting levi and knowing him and backstory and levi turns out to be homeless too but good at it and it'd be a chapter fic but there's my erejean/possibly ereri fic for the future but i don't have time to write it ever bc i got college coming up hope y'all like my ideas i'm prob gonna draw this a lot but never write it ugh
