"Anybody Have A Map?" - 9/10 i feel like it accurately displays the "i love you despite your flaws" mom thing, points taken away bc of the murphys attitudes
"Waving Through A Window" - 1000000/10 this song is soooo good and it makes a lot of sense, explaining how alienated and small anxiety can make you feel
"For Forever" - 11/10 what i want in a friendship, minus the breaking my arm
"Sincerely, Me" - 120000/10 the only funny song in the musical, but that's okay because its not supposed to be funny, i love this song
"Requiem" - 7/10 the song itself is a banger, but the message behind it is not it, like damn everytime i hear it, it makes me think abt what if I died and my family reacted like that? fuck u zoe
"If I Could Tell Her" - 9/10 tell me Evan wouldn't be such a good bf is he wasn't a evil mastermind?
"Disappear" - 10/10 AHHHHH thank you, that's all i have to say
"You Will Be Found" - 20000000/10 this song makes me cry so fucking hard, i love this song, you will be found
"To Break In A Glove" 8/10 akskrkej I want Mr. Murphy as a dad, but points off for ragging on Connor
"Only Us" - 10/10 "and what came before won't count anymore or matter" has the same vibe as "forgiveness, can you imagine?" from It's Quiet Uptown, a massive love song
"Good For You" - 100/10 angrysongangrysongangrysong makes me feel unreal emotions
"Words Fail" - 1000000/10 BEN KILLED THIS MF SONG, makes me cry but its great
"So Big/So Small" - 100000/10 I'm sorry Ms. Hansen </3 this song makes me sad too because it reminds me of my mom? living with a child with severe anxiety is hard and its gonna be hard when you're a single parent
Hey! Sorry for the lack of updates but here is my most recent fic!! It's a request for Evan x reader to help with evan's pre-performance anxiety :) sorry if there are mistakes I was pretty sleepy writing this towards the end but I wanted to get it out! I have made some edits since publishing to make it longer and more coherent (there were some perspective issues because I was so sleepy when I finished it off - pun intended) :)
Mumbles floated around you as you all sat on the stage, curtains drawn, chatting before the evening showing of chicago. You turned to feel Evan tapping on your shoulder. You looked up to see Evan in his costume, a white shirt unbuttoned so his chest hair was visible with black trousers and you were a little turned on when your eyes reached his face and you saw the beard he had grown out for the role, in order to look older.
“Sup babe?” You asked, noting the worried expression on his face.
“Oh, uh, just stressed, can we go sit in the hall?” He looked at you pleadingly.
“So what’s the stress?” You asked, turning so that you were sat leaning against the wall.
“God I’m just, I’m worried that- no it’s stupid, it’s not your job to manage my anxiety...” he stopped himself, sighing, he really had matured since you guys started dating.
“Of course it isn’t, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna support you!” You take his hand and beam up at him.
"I'm just stressed that I'm gonna, I'll screw up being Billy Flynn? I'm not like that and I'm scared that I'll be awful when it's in fron of the crowd."
"Evan, you'll be perfect and if you aren't no one will care, okay?" Evan nodded and you took his hands. "Now, did that help with your stress about this?"
"A little?" You smiled and he smiled back, a boyish grin covering his face. “What?” You ask, a light questioning tone in your voice as he grins. He pulled you to your feet before responding.
“Well there's 20 minutes before I need to be in hair and makeup... You know what would help me stop being so anxious?” Your eyes widen and you giggle a little, already slightly turned on by his confidence.
“Oh? What would that be, Mr. Hansen?” Smiling you traced your finger up and down his chest, the two of you giggling, you were so close you could feel his breathe on your lips. Your finger trailed down past his bellybutton and to the waistband of his black trousers. He looked down and then back up at you, shyness overcoming him, you pressed your lips to his and he sighed into the kiss as his anxiety faded away, his hands coming to rest on your waist. You pushed your hand into his waistband and he gasped into the kiss as you wrapped your hands around the base of him. You pushed him up against the wall and broke the kiss to begin gently biting his neck.
"W-wait here?? We-we're in the hallway, Y/N! There are dressing rooms you kno-" Evan stuttered and groaned as you began to slowly pump him inside his trousers, cutting him off. "No one's gonna come though here..." You mumble into his neck as you kiss up from him collar bone, his white shirt was already unbuttoned to show some of his chest for his outfit. "For at least 20 minutes, right?" You stroked the side of his face, feeling the roughness of his beard.
"Y-Yes probably- ah!" He gasped as you increased your pace, sucking harshly on his neck."Y/N I can't have any... god, fuck... I can't have any hickies..." He was breathing heavily, his fingers clenching and unclenching the fabric of the vest you're wearing. "Sounds like hair and makeup's problem." You whispered and and yanked his trousers and boxers down roughly in one go and licking a stripe up his length.
"A-ah! Y/N!" Evan nearly yelled, looking around the hallway to see if anyone was coming. He covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to subdue his own noises, he was not used to having to be quiet when you guys had sex and whenever you did anything in public it was usually him teasing you. You sucked on the tip of his dick, tracing patterns on it with your fingers as you sucked. He let out small muffled sounds and you looked up at him, excited at the fact that you could make him feel like this. You released him with a pop and he almost sighed in relief before you took him into your mouth again, but this time all the way.
"Ah!" he yelled, unable to contain himself and you deep throated him, your hand wrapping around the parts you couldn't reach. Evan glanced around to check no one was coming before tangling a hand in your hai r.
"Y-Y/N I'm so close..." He panted and you looked up at him through your eyelashes. He let out another groan at the image below him, your mouth wrapped around his dick, eyes closed as you focused on making him feel good, but he didn't fail to notice that one hand was inbetween your thighs, rubbing gently. "I'm so fucking lucky holy shit!" He gasped as he approached his orgasm. He pulled you up and kissed you, kissing down your neck as you continued to jerk him off eith your hands. His hips shake as he nears his end and you gasps as he bites down lightly on your neck, sucking it
Suddenly there was a clattering at the end of the hall and voices echoed around the corner from the direction of the dressing rooms.
"S-Shit!" Evan gasped and pulled his shorts up. You attempted to make yourself look a little presentable after Ev had messed up your hair by flattening it down and running your fingers through it. "U-uh Y/N oh my god I-I still have a... A you know, what do we do? It's really visible these pants are too fuckin tight." Evan cursed and you turned to see a rather noticeable bulge in his pants. 5 minutes ago the concept of this was very exciting but now it was a clear sign as to what you'd been up to.
"Uh, behind the stage?" You posed the hiding spot and Evan, starting to panic a little, nodded and you dragged him back towards the stage. Everyone was out on the actual stage and you pulled Evan into the broom closet behind the curtains instead of going out to join everyone else. Evan breathed a heavy sigh of relief as you both leaned against the wall of the closet.
"T-That was way too close! You almost got us in some serious trouble Y/N." He said and you laughed, his face was bright red."That was really irresponsible, why can't you behave?"
"Now, shall we solve this problem?" you ignored his reprenmand, assuming he couldn't actually be annoyed with you. "I think we've ended up making you more stressed, haha!" You sniggered and reached over to pull his face into yours, just as you did you noticed Evan's facial expression was nearer to a frown than the embarassed laugh you had expected. He didn't say a word, just pressed his lips harshly against yours and you let out a muffled squeak of surprise as he immediately forced his tongue into your mouth, pulling your mini skirt up a little so one hand was on your waist and the other was pushing roughly against your clothed clit. His beard brushed against your skin and your breath hitched at the sensation. You couldn't help but let out more yelps, leading Evan to grunt out a quick "you better stay fucking quiet." as he groped you roughly, pulling your panties aside and dropping to his knees. He didn't say anything like he did when he was drunk and rough, this was different, he was quiet and dominant, which was somehow hotter. He licked up your slit and you yelped before covering your mouth.
"Stay quiet." He said, clearly. You nodded and he turned you around to have you holding on to the shelves, ass in his face. "We have 12 minutes." He added as he checked his watch before pushing a finger into you, pumping in and out you could barely breathe due to all the whimpers that you were holding in. You grunted and gasped as he pounded you with just one finger, curling it so it touched the spongy flesh at the top of your vagina, hitting your g spot hard. He added another finger then another, pushing in and out with his tongue still on your clit until you came, gasping as questly as you could in order to evade detection. You were soaking and recovering from your orgasm, leaning into the shelves with your ass still on the air. Before you'd even figured out what was going on Evan was sucking hard on your neck, his trousers were on the floor and he was grinding against you. You gasped as your body spasmed a little from the over stimulation and having something inside you so suddenly after orgasming. Reached around and grabbed your arms, holding them behind your back while guiding the tip of his dick into you, you inhlaed sharply. Had he gotten bigger? God it felt like it. He wrapped his hands around your neck, applying gentle pressure to your throat.
Shocks of pleasure fly up your spine as you gasped with every thrust, pushing back against him, revelling in his grunts of pleasure and the feel of his fingers on your throat, applying the perfect amount of pressure. He released your hands and let you lean back and tangled his fingers in his hair, roughly increasing his tempo, his hips rutting against your and the sound of your skin slapping together along with the accompanying sting that was perfectly the border of pain and pleasure made it clear that you would have bruises tomorrow. He reached around with the hand that wasn't around your neck and rubbed your clit roughly, just a couple of times, but enough to send you over the edge, the feeling of you spasming around him was heavenly and he gasped and groaned as you tightened unconciously. He pulled out for a second to let you recover before easing the tip in as your entrance continued to spasm uncontrollably, his hand still rubbing your clit, stimulating you beyond your orgasm. It took everything in you not to scream out his name, instead opting to silently gasp his name over and over.
"Ev..." You groaned as he pushed all the way in. He pulled back and then pushed in again as you leaned back to kiss him roughly, hardly able to breathe due to the barrage of pleasure being caused combined with his hand around your throat. Evan faltered slightly in his pounding and whispered sweet nothings and and grunting, gasping out your name, how beautiful how tight you are for him. He let out a whimper and you knew he was cumming soon. You gasped into his mouth as he pumped in and out at increasing speeds, your fingers tugging his hair causing him to groan, his head dropping to rest in the crook of your neck as he was overwhelmed with pleasure.
He was pounding so hard that you knew you'd have bruises, reaching around your hips to rub your clit hard to bring you there again and it worked, you were teetering on the edge of your orgasm as he licked up your neck, then kissing your collar bone and leaving lovebites along your neck. He hit a few final thrusts as your orgasms hit both of you and your body shook uncontrollably and it took everything you had not to scream his name. Evan grunted softly as he came into you, thank god for birth control. He was still balls deep inside you and you held him there for just a second, unable to handle anymore movement in that moment.
"Jesus Christ Evan." You whispered, still gasping from your third orgasm in the span of 20 minutes.
"Sorry, was that too much?" Evan asked worriedly.
"That was fucking great Evan, if anything is too much you know I'd say so." Evan nodded and pressed a quick kiss to your lips. He pulled out roughly and you spasmed again because of the overstim. You grinned as you got dressed, adjusting your shirt and hair, fixing his too, you found some wipes on the shelf and cleaned yourself up, it wouldn't exactly look great if you started leaking cum everywhere would it? Now you were both dressed and you both stepped out of the closet and peeked around the edge of the curtain where people were finishing their dinner.
"Where were you guys?" Brooke turned around to see you walking in on slightly shaky legs.
"Oh us? Evan was just a little anxious so I took him for some fresh air to calm down.
Brooke looked at your shaky legs but you sat down before she could comment on it. Zoe was also sitting next to Brooke as she made a final adjustment to her costume. "Mmh. Okay well Evan you need to be in hair and makeup, your hair is a mess. And you look kinda sweaty. Also you have red splotches all up your neck that we'll need to cover." Evan blushed a bright red, glancing at you and you looked away, trying not to laugh out loud. He glared at the back of your head before answering. Zoe made eye contact with you and you grinned at her, blushing and she spluttered a laugh before muting it with her hand. "Ah yeah... I um, I..? I had an... allergic reaction!" he almost shouted as he figured out a reasonable lie, he was never very good at it. "I had an allergic reaction to something earlier, didn't realise that um... That cheese crackers had actual cheese in them?" He fumbled through the lie and Brooke raised her eyebrows, looking at you both. "Right..." She sighed and dragged Evan off to the dressing rooms.
"Y/N! You guys couldn't wait??" Zoe blurted out as soon as they were gone. "Hey! anything to help Evan's stress..." You mumbled before getting out your script to practice your lines.
