Here's the year's running list of bridges I burnt:
* Brian. I'm sorry I was such a bitch. My interest peaks and dies off. And I may care about someone so much..and just not want to care at the moment, and I'll seem like such a heartless bitch. but if you would have let me.. I would have come back. like now. I fucking miss you now. The texting on kik, the silly stupid shit we'd talk about, keeping you up all night with emojis wars, and I still remember you when the song Beachin' comes on. I really wanted you to be mine but I couldn't find the willpower to keep it a constant thing. My marine..
* Michael. I really liked talking to you, playing games, and everything. the problem is that . It seemed like you were asking for way too many pictures and I actually hate feeling like I HAVE to do something, or else someone is gonna be a bitch to me all the time. You crossed the wrong line. but I still miss seeing your stupid shit pop up in snapchat, and shooting zombies with you, and all the silly shit that didn't involve me spamming your phone with unwanted selfies.
* Carson. So this bridge isn't burnt yet, but it's damn near it. With the 2013 huge fight that drove me crazy and wanted me to fucking kill myself because it'd be easier than dealing with all of your shit.. to the thinking that it was MY fault if you committed suicide, which you threatened several times and did it AGAIN now in december 2014.. well, you earned your spot on the about-to-burn list. But I don't want to see it go. Let's face it, I don't want to fuck you anymore. I don't. It's not a thing. I can't willingly fuck someone who emotionally manipulated me into giving up my time and joy in order to talk on the phone, argue, call you nighty sometimes [which I've done for NO ONE else, EVER - NOT EVEN THE GUY I ACTUALLY LOVED.] Long story short, you're gonna burn if you're not careful. but I don't wanna burn it, I really don't. If i burn your bridge, I burn the bridge to my gaming crew..the most fun, interesting, caring group of gamer retards i've ever known and gotten attached you. You guys are my fucking family and I don't want to burn it all down and drop it, just because you can't fathom being friends with me if I don't call a lot or want to help you get off with at least phone sex. |And let's not even bring up how you got mad at me admitting that I'd had phone sex with someone, when we weren't really talking. We never even dated, you don't get property rights on a skill, or on me. I'm not yours...get over it.. or it will burn down like Paris.
And let's not forget the bridge that I didn't burn..but life keeps trying to take away from me. Marcus. I still..fucking..love you. You were the one guy I felt like I could take on the world with. Bring on fire, rain, war, and anything. You were irreplaceable. Like that compass I had, with the polarities that flipped so that it said north was south and east was west..so the sun rose in the west, like the line from Game of Thrones, that Danaerys whispers.. "When the sun rises in the west...then you will return to me, my sun and stars." I always had that compass. my lucky charm. I drove around town fucking looking for it... I miss you. you were the one that life did not let me keep.
