May 26, 2020
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As ridiculous as it may seem, I cling to the littlest scrap of possibility that the reason why I can’t get you out of my head is because you probably can’t get me out of yours too.
Silently missing you is fucking killing me. So here I am again, pathetically writing about you.
what rlly confuses me though is the fact that like... stell & dpdv can joke abt what happened but like, me & dpdv NEVER talk about it other than that one snapchat message. and obviously he knows i think about it bc of harry’s text but even when we talk alone, there’s no mention of it AT ALL.
and i just said to lil bro that yknow maybe he just doesn’t realize that it was mutual affection... like it wasn’t completely one-sided near the end. granted, by that point he was into stella but. still. i don’t think he knows. or he just doesn’t know what i’m like when i’m into somebody. which, you know, most of my friends don’t either bc ive never had a full blown crush around them. but.
im so SO tired of having so many ex-almosts. and he is like the KING of ex-almosts. ugh.
canCEL OUT MY EX I PUT A LINE THROUGH THAT BITCH
So many of my classmates are getting engaged and meanwhile I’m sitting over here with my cat and my pile of law books.
So guess who doesn't want to go to prom!?
This girl. -I'm supposed to go with my best friend so that's cool. -But I'm sitting at the table with my ex-almost's (who I'm still talking to) ex-gf who he dated for like 3 years. -and she's never liked me. my other best friend says she mentions me like every day now. And she thinks I stalk her cause I went on her Instagram ONCE and accidentally liked a pic. And she knows I was with her ex. -now I found out my ex-almost is gonna be there too. And I guess I wouldn't have minded that if I didn't realize that it was never me & he is still in love with his ex. -and I don't want to ruin things for my best friend, but I think I'm gonna be fucking miserable.