#exhilarated

[mafaldaknows]

Instagram: johnp.shanley

[garden-of-violence]

Walking out

I feel all eyes on me.

Not in the way I always dreamed

But as if I were a wicked thing.

Some abomination accursed of god

Defiant

Apostate

Resolute before all creation.

I feel scared,

Naked,

Raw,

Some tiny thing in the middle of a field

As the wolves do prowl.

Before,

I'd have run away.

Locked myself in my room

Hiding who I was.

I'd have cried

Loathing how wrong I felt

How off my body was

To the vision I held in hope.

Not now.

Yes I am scared.

Yes

I get nervous

But I don't care any more.

I want to dress how I want to dress

Flaunt the beauty I recognize in me.

Show too much leg

Wear sheer blouses

Take pride in my curves and lack there of.

I want to live and love freely in the open.

Be seen and acknowledged as existing.

I have already spent years hiding from myself.

I'm done giving in and lying down.

.

And each day it gets easier.

Not that the struggle loses its bite.

I just love myself more

Take pride in myself more

And grow steadily more incapable

Of ever settling again

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[cinnamonrollstark]

Spread love, spread joy, spread warmth. If you can, donate money to a friend. Tip your waiter, they've had a long day. Just a dollar is still something. Send your friend 5 dollars for a burger and fries. Hug someone. If you have the luxury, cook a meal at home, just for you, or for 10+ people. Give some hot cocoa or cider to the homeless man and a biscuit to his dog. Wear a fuzzy coat and share it with a buddy. Stomp in a puddle and watch the sitting water ripple and splash. Do a silly dance. Ruffle your hair when you're excited. Know that your body is yours and belongs to you- rejoice in that. Write a mantra, speak it into the world. What words you say are what become. Squeeze someone's hand. Kiss someone's cheek. Take a shower, then sit on your towel and let the air dry your skin. Feel how soft you are, smell how good you smell. Take care.

Life is too short to be spent on the couch watching Family Guy. And I'm not saying that as if it's an insult- Family Guy is great, don't get me wrong. But in 20 years, will you remember? Will the taste of takeout food on your tongue, the buildup of oil and dirt on your skin from your days of not doing self care, the scratch of fabric on your thigh mean anything in those 20 years to come?

I know it's hard right now. The turn of the earth seems endless. We circle the sun. We do it again. Depression, anxiety, a variety of mental illnesses with which I've become well acquainted, can just make it all meaningless.

I'm telling you to fight it. You don't need money, physical things, fancy houses or clothes or hair or nails to feel that you are YOU. You don't need to be the center of the world. You simply need to be. In doing so, you become something greater, even if you don't recognize it yet.

I know it might be hard to take that leap, but you can. Take care of yourself. Take care of others. Find pleasure in the little things and be graceful in your grand gestures. Live and be humble.

Good night and see you all in the morning

[zitases]

This post is about YOU. Who you are right now. It’s not going to suggest for you to become someone. Or tell you that you have to get somewhere. Or gain something material. It’s not going to suggest any of these things, because the greatest gifts are already inside you, waiting to be uncovered. And once they are uncovered, everything in your life will flow naturally. #estinction #Excel #exceptional #exhilarated #esteem #discoverycove #beautywithinyou https://www.instagram.com/p/BmoUfchD2mT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1razmlxp49vt

[nadiasficrecs]

in this light by exhilarated

pairing: louis/harry

word count: 99,234

summary: Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance.

[1d-fics]

What I’m Reading: August

Rereads:

1. In This Light (exhilarated) -  Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance.

2. Don’t Tell The Gods (We Left A Mess) (bottomlinsons (grimgrace)) - After a misunderstanding with Liam’s mother, Louis agrees to accompany his best friend to a family wedding and pretend to be the world’s best boyfriend. But their simple plan goes awry when he learns that Harry, ex-boyfriend/ex-love of Louis’ life, will also be in attendance.

3. Don’t Look Down (zarah5) - In which Louis is a solicitor at one of London’s most prestigious law firms and Harry happens to apply for the position as his trainee. And everyone else is around, too.

New Reads:

1. This Shifting Ground (zarah5) - In which Louis, law student, is the cheeky waiter to Harry’s dates. This is how it starts.

2. That Dimpled Smile (phillipa19) - Harry is Marcel's big brother and he loves that he looks out for him, especially since he sucks at taking care of his own bullies, but when Harry's tattooed friend takes an interest in him, he'd really rather Harry just backed off. Marcel had accepted his sexuality a while ago, but he'd never actually been able to . . . test the theory, and that's what he really wants to do with this blue-eyed boy.

3. Your Mess Is Mine (amory) - Louis is the father to the most brilliant little boy in the world who is all Louis really needs, or at least that's what he tells himself. Harry is a gorgeous boybander fresh off a two year break and a massive scandal that's left him a little broken and more than ready to move on.

4. Now I’ve Got You In My Space (stylesforstiles) - Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson almost met on X-Factor. They meet on Dancing With The Stars instead.

5. Married for a Week?! (gravitycentered) - Hi guys :) You might recognize Harry from one or two of my old videos .. I was tagged in the Married for a week challenge so I asked him to be my husband ! We had to live together for a week and take each other out on a couple romantic dates and that, check out the video to see how it went :) Give it a like if you enjoyed and maybe subscribe if you haven't already. Love you all - Louis x

[rainbowoffics]

FIC REC’S OF 2017 part 4 (march-april)

Perfect Storm by cherrystreet (80k) CHAPTERED 

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.   FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP WITH A TWIST

You Always Seem To Bring Me Light by sinisterist (18k) CHAPTERED

He jumps when he feels a hand stroking his hair lightly. “I love it like this,” Louis murmurs, reaching to tug a wayward curl.

“Love what like this?”

“Your hair.” Louis’ touch is hesitant, almost reverent, all trace of humour gone now. “When it’s still kind of damp but the ends are dry and curl up like corkscrews. It’s supposed to look gross but it doesn’t.” He pauses before continuing quietly. “Your curls are so lovely.”

Harry swallows. Louis is a hurricane, and amidst his whirlwind of emotions, he slowly says; deliberately says, “So are you.”

In a world where YouTuber baker Harry pines for the (inconveniently taken) Louis. In other words, another YouTuber AU.

Emperor’s New Clothes by sunsetmog (92k) CHAPTERED

The fact that Louis’s most precious belonging was a cat with a face like thunder and an uncanny ability to cover every single inch of Louis’s clothing with cat hair was something that Louis chose not to think about too much.

or: Harry’s a pop star and Louis isn’t, and there’s a non-disclosure agreement where there used to be a relationship. SECRET RELATIONSHIP

Flour And Chocolate by teaandtumblr (145k) CHAPTERED 

It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.

Then he approached the display cabinet.

And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.

What. The. Fuck?

Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.

OR Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street. KID FIC, SINGLE DAD!LOUIS, BAKER!HARRY

Needing You More And More, Let’s Give Love A Try by supernope (33k) ONE SHOT

'Do not get hard, do not get hard,' Harry chants in his head. It’s working, but Harry still breathes a silent sigh of relief when Louis lets go of his wrists and clambers off of him. He doesn’t move for a moment, just watches Louis fuss nervously with his fringe before saying, “Why don’t we go walk off breakfast?”

Harry only hesitates for a second, then nods. He gets to his feet with a quiet, “Be right back,” and heads back to his bedroom to get dressed. Once safely enclosed in his room, Harry glares down at his belly and scolds, “It’s bad enough that you’re messing with my body temperature, do you have to mess with those hormones, too?”

There’s no answer from the baby, but Harry takes that as surrender. Pausing by his bed, Harry takes a second to shake off the residual, lingering embers of arousal before choosing an outfit for the walk. He’s already pregnant with a stranger’s baby, the last thing he needs right now is to be lusting after his best friend.

[OR when Harry gets pregnant after a one night stand, Louis helps him get everything together, from buying pregnancy clothes to taking him on a babymoon. Somewhere along the way, they realize that their feelings for each other are more than platonic.] MPREG!HARRY, FRIENDS TO LOVERS

May You Enjoy Your New Life by aimmyarrowshigh (264k) CHAPTERED

It begins for them all at the bungalow –

'Alright, time to lay out the cards. We’re in this together and hopefully, for the long haul, yeah? So I think – you know, we should just be honest. It’s deal-breakers time. That thing that like, if we’re gonna hate you or something, just tell us all now.'

When One Direction begins, Harry Styles is a sixteen-year-old boy foundering under the pressure of impending fatherhood. His ability to balance the sobering responsibility of caring for his tiny daughter, Millie, and the exhilaration of seeing his own dreams coming to fruition affects not only his future, but those of Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Louis, who never expected fealty to be the key to their success. But Liam is the first to show him how to grow up without growing old, and Zayn is the first to defend from the public what is private and precious. Louis -- Louis is the first for a lot of things; for most of the moments of Millie's life and for the moments of Harry's that matter. And Niall is the first to toast when Millie is born: Go maire sibh bhur saol nua -- 'may you enjoy your new life.' KID FIC

The End Should Be A Good One by bananasandboots (43k) ONE SHOT

t doesn't feel like falling in love, the way it had felt the first time around, easy, simple, almost like floating, wrapped up in a whirlwind of touches and kisses, late nights spent laughing breathlessly into each other's skin. This feels broken, complicated, like every move carries the weight of their past. Like the floorboards beneath them could collapse at any moment. This doesn't feel good.

Or, the one where Harry loses the love of his life on New Years Eve and finds him again, six months later, ready to open some poorly-stitched wounds. EXES TO LOVERS

See Clearly Now by Awriterwrites (11k) ONE SHOT

“My eyes are up here.”

What? Was— was Louis flirting with him?

Harry looked up — much too slowly, probably — and saw Louis watching him, his mouth quirked up on one side, a grin threatening to steal the pretty curve of his mouth.

“What?” Harry squeaked.

Louis put his hands on his hips, almost challenging Harry to look again, “I said...my eyes are up here.”

Harry felt something electric pass between them. He felt the need to take a step forward, call Louis’ bluff, see if he was more bark than bite.

Biting sounded really fun right about now.

OR a five-times fic where two guys, one college dorm room and a faulty door lead to a few embarrassing situations and finding out more about themselves and each other than they ever bargained for. ROOMMATES

In This Light by exhilarated (99k) CHAPTERED 

Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance. FAMOUS/NOT FAMOUS 

Carried Away Like Butterflies by waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee (17k) ONE SHOT

“Actually…” Liam said, scratching his chin absently. “I have a friend who is moving to London soon.” “Without anywhere to live? Who is it? Do I want them living in my home?!” “You met him at my birthday party. Harry, from Cheshire. Remember? Really tight jeans, curly hair down to here?” Realisation dawned on Louis, staring at Liam who was gesturing round about his nipples. Did he remember Harry? Did he remember Harry? He remembered Harry’s square front teeth biting into his collarbone, and he remembered Harry moaning, loud and obscene with no provocation. He remembered Harry dropping to his knees at the edge of the bed and roughly pulling Louis closer. He remembered, vividly, Harry’s lovely plump lips wrapping around his- “Lou?” “Uh- what?” Louis said, startled. “Oh, yeah. Um, I think I remember him.” - It was probably a huge mistake for Louis to let his former One Night Stand move into his spare room, especially when said One Night Stand doesn't seem to remember him. ROOMMATES, PINING

Life Was A Song, You Came Along by rainbowninja167 (37k) CHAPTERED

It's embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them. It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you.

Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend's career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan's newest album. A modern retelling of Singin' in the Rain. SONGWRITER!LOUIS, MUSIC STORE OWNER!HARRY

Now You Know Me (For Your Eyes Only) by nadinecestmoi (77k) CHAPTERED

AU, Where Harry and Louis are solo artists and they’re not exactly friends per se but they’re friendly, know each other from industry parties and things like that and there’s always been this weird unspoken sexual tension between them and Louis’ always kinda confused bc isn’t Harry the biggest ladies’ man in the industry?? And one day Harry asks Louis to collab with him and of course Louis says yes even tho he’s kinda surprised and Harry plays the song for him and Louis is completely blown away by how beautiful it is and it’s a love song and he’s like damn, whoever this is about is lucky as fuck bc it’s clearly written from personal experience so they spend all this time together recording and it’s super bittersweet bc they click right away and it takes Louis about three seconds to realize he has a huge fucking crush on Harry but on the other hand Harry clearly had someone in mind when he wrote the song so the last day of recording comes and Louis’ like “thanks for having me on the song” and Harry just shrugs and is like “well it just seemed fitting bc the song is about you” SOLO ARTIST!LOUIS, SOLO ARTIST!HARRY, FRIENDS TO LOVERS

What’s Stopping You? by kikikryslee (14k) ONE SHOT 

That shirt was what held his attention again. How many other guys had the same shirt that H and Harry had, and – wait. H… Harry. Harry did yoga. So did H. They both had the same shirt, and had both gotten home ten minutes ago and were cooking dinner. No way. Louis looked at the picture again, and stared more closely at H’s lips. They were pink and pouty, with the lower lip a bit plumper than the top, just like Harry. And H had brown, curly hair that reached his shoulders, just like Harry. Louis looked over at Harry, who was putting his hair back up into a bun as the kitchen was most likely getting warmer. “Holy shit,” Louis whispered. Have I been flirting with my own roommate all this time? --- Or, the one where Harry wants to get over his crush on Louis, so he makes a Grindr account to find someone new. Of course, Louis messages him, not realizing H's real identity. It only takes a few days for them to figure it out. FRIENDS TO LOVERS, ROOMMATES

Can’t Start A Fire Without A Spark by larrymylove (22k) ONE SHOT

Louis Tomlinson is the pop sensation with his first new single out since taking a personal hiatus from the spotlight. Harry is a paparazzi hired to photograph him during promo. Louis hates paparazzi with a passion, but there’s just something about the pretty young pap with wide green eyes and chocolate curls that Louis can’t shake from his head. ENEMIES TO LOVERS