The anxiety paradox where you’re so afraid of dying that you’re barely even living

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The anxiety paradox where you’re so afraid of dying that you’re barely even living
first blinkie batch of OCD subtypes / obsessions done, more matching blinkies to come :] we made ones for general awareness and positivity here (link)
(like/reblog/credit NOT required. dni TCC, anyone who uses TME/TMA and anyone whos anything but firmly anti contact for harmful paraphilias.)
The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice // To Be Or Not To Be, That Is The Obsession: Existential and Philosophical OCD by Fred Penzel // The Aesthetics of Fear by Joyce Carol Oates
Shout out to folks with Existential Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder!
I’m gonna be so fr part of the reason why I love TLT so much is because it’s one of the few book series that so comfortably talks about death so much that it doesn’t send me down an existential dread/death anxiety spiral. Thanks existential OCD
Sometimes I think I’m having really deep thoughts, and then I voice them to anyone who doesn’t have existential OCD and they’re just like wtf does that mean?!
hey OCD havers, no particular advice tonight, but i do have a question: what helps you relax when OCD is giving you a hard time? or what would you like to do instead of dealing with OCD? what hobby would you pick up if given the time and opportunity?
mine is nature photography! sometimes if the thoughts are being too loud i just kinda... run outside and take pictures of trees for a while. saved up for a real fancy camera a few years ago and i have a lot of fun with it! and if i can focus enough without getting scary thoughts about all the appliances involved: baking! then when the spiral has passed i can have a sweet treat! ✨
looking for actual answers here, btw. comments like "nothing, i don't deserve nice things, i'm evil" are not helpful to you or me. wanna hear from you, not your thoughts! try and think of something, i'd love to hear about it 💖
the problem with my OCD is that I have just enough narcissism/confidence to believe that from enough thinking I could come to some new fundamental understanding of reality like literally that meme where the guy stops digging right before hitting the diamonds. and at a logical level i understand that some of this is just addictive thinking (and addict thinking) but every so often figures like George Cantor and other greats come along. and my silly American thinking of “why not me”, why couldn’t I be the next great. why not? you just gotta Keep Thinking™ and no one will say it was a disease if you PROVE something at the end of it all so you can’t give up