#exmo humor

[theotherjudas]

ME: Who is god? 

BRIGHAM YOUNG: 

[theotherjudas]

How the fuck did he find me??

[theotherjudas]

E’s Take

Years ago, when I was a teenager and still going through the motions of a True Believing Mormon, I had a close friend I’ll call E.

E was the youngest child of what was then called an “inactive family.” His mother and several of his siblings were baptized, as was E himself, but they rarely went to church. Needless to say, E wasn’t raised with all the strict trappings of Mormonism that I’d grown up with. He drank Coke. He watched R-rated movies. He swore and told dirty jokes. A lot of the Young Men and Women in my ward hated him for this, but I liked him, so I took E under my wing.

Being a questioning (soon to be ex-) Mormon kid, I found E’s particular brand of wit to be hilarious. His observations about the oddities of the LDS Church and its members left me and my brother Aaron rolling in the pews, so to speak. And nothing tickled us more than watching him talk to my dad.

My dad at the time was the stake president of a major urban/suburban area in the Midwest. He was the kind of man who hosted visiting general authorities at our house. He was viewed by everyone as the most generous, pious man they’d ever met. And surprise, he doesn’t have a sense of humor. Like, at all.

So. One day the YM/YW were taking a trip to the temple. My dad was driving me, my brother Aaron, E, and a new deacon we didn’t really know. This kid asked my dad what to expect during this ‘baptisms for the dead’ session. We were all surprised when E piped up. He had up to this point been expressly unenthusiastic about the trip, but now he had something to say. My dad was thrilled, and told E to explain he process.

E didn’t even get a full sentence in: “well, you change into a jumpsuit and go hang out in a hot tub with some old man-“

I thought my dad was going to have an aneurysm. He boiled silently he rest of the drive. Aaron and I laughed the rest of the way to the temple.