I remember someone not showing up for me on a day I explicitly said was important to me. They said "they didn't care much for it." That "they didn't grow up celebrating special days and didn't see why they had to now".
I think about that a lot. I think about how you can love someone and not care for what they care for, or show up when it matters to them.
I think about how so much of what has been others' love for me has been for their own convenience. More "I'll show up if it makes ME happy, not because it makes YOU happy". I think I wasn't loved at all.
I imagine days where I will experience a reciprocated radical expansion of self in service to another, and I swoon, excited for the love I know I deserve.