update on my quads journey and health as a disabled therian:
my body feels like it is deteriorating, my ability to walk and stand is. not great. I can stand for about an hour without pain, but I can pull through for about 4 hours with small breaks to stretch. I can walk for half an hour without pain, and I have to sit down if I'm walking for even just an hour.
keeping this in mind, my ability to do quads hasn't really changed. in fact, I've improved! I can now canter, and I can get pretty fast! jumps are still painful, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to fully perform them. I have only landed one, and that was about a year ago, when I had more function.
I think this is important to talk about, since quads are important to me and my nonhumanity. I feel the most like myself when I am running around on all fours. I'm focussing on my disability and the deterioration of my health and keeping myself healthy and that interferes with practicing. though I find that the stretching and working out that I do to build strength and flexibility to help with my quads does help with my general health, actual quads are likely making me worse due to the strain it puts on my body.
now I have to cope with this loss even though I don't plan on completely stopping. I already know and understand that quads are not important to being nonhuman. I know that most therians don't do them. it's just difficult, especially since it's so fun and such a release to separate myself even further from humanity.
I don't know how to finish this post, but I'm trying to keep my head up. if you read this far, thank you.