for ur kevneil stalker indulgence: kevin dismissing a vague question at some point during evening team practice and neil barely reacting but by night practice is clearly agitated. takes almost blowing his shoulders out on andrew's goal again for kevin to get a near-spat that's not when you got that scar and to be momentarily caught off guard before doubling down on how dare You of all people be offended by a lie? and why the fuck have you been keeping tabs? feeling deeply uncomfortable in a way he can never acknowledge so has to cling to the reasons for neil's obsession and place his worth in exy once again but it feels less defensive when he knows that's why neil's watching Now. getting up in his face nonetheless, the squaring up to be mitigated only moments before physical violence by kevin's irritation at a thick tobacco smoke blown in their direction. or something. hold on i need to exit this go back to your post that prompted it and reevaluate where is the exit bu
YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!
I love the idea Kevin slowly realizes how fucked and obsessive Neil was about him (Hero worship and jealousy and the what if of a whole other life) and then being freaked out because it feels good to have someone fixate on him like that. He spent more than half his life as the center of Riko's entire world (negative), it almost feels like coming home to have someone know him so well and so intimately.
They're winding each other up all night and Neil cannot keep his eyes off him, and Kevin is about to cancel night practice until Neil FINALLY snaps like you said. It pours out of him and Kevin is like ??? because he barely remembers that scar. Who cares!! But Neil is so obviously upset and pissed about it and each time he checks him after it there's teeth.
And Andrew "Has known about the stalker binder for well over a year now" Minyard is just watching.
Usually they get it out of their system but it lingers for days afterward and Kevin begins peppering Neil with questions about himself. About himself after leaving Edgar Allan and yep, he knows that too. Some of it there's an explanation, "What shampoo do I use?" "What cologne is my favorite" because they have been living in each other's pocket for a year. But what about "How did I lose my molar?" "What's my blood type" etc etc
And of course things have to eventual break and it's Kevin being bent over the edge of his bed and Neil rutting against him talking about what it was like to watch him live a life like he did. His anger over him settling for second when Neil always knew he was better than Riko. That he records this all too, the angle Kevin likes to be jerked off, the tilt of his hips to make that sound, it all goes into a journal tucked away somewhere. As memorized as Kevin's stats from his debut year to what flavor he likes at Sweetie's (pistachio.)
u are jeanee messiah to me. do u have any crumbs to share pls i beg 🙏❤️❤️
hello hi omg thank you??? i'm trying very hard to be Normal about this but i LOVE your socmed, i'm honored you consider me the jeanee person :)
my jeanee madness is a recent one and i must point you to the direct cause: gia @you-know-i-get-itt's fic Heaven Is Not Fit. breaks me every time
as for crumbs i am nothing if not an enjoyer of emotional damage via songs so i humbly offer
this is the only universe in which jean gets to live, which means that there isn't one in which they work out, but also that this is the only universe in which both have to live with that knowledge.
jean could never have survived at psu, and renee could never have gone to usc. the only possibility for them is to love each other from a distance, think with fondness of each other's triumphs and periodically meet up to catch up, years into the future.
perhaps there is bitterness, despite the fact that neither of them would give up what they have now. a certain type of melancholy that comes when you don't regret how things worked out but you can't help wondering about the what-ifs that never were. it doesn't eat them up, it doesn't keep them up at night. but they think about it.
jean reaches for the silver cross every time he sees a rainbow; renee's smile takes half a second longer to show when she sees pictures from jean & jeremy's wedding.
when renee is stressed she always dreams of driving somewhere fighting to get there in time. the angels in stained glass windows of the churches jean & jeremy visit will always have renee's eyes.
however briefly they spent together, they were irrevocably shaped by the other.
if they were together jean would wear lilac & cornflower instead of darker blues. and he'd look damn good in them. their similarity in shade to the purple tips in renee's hair when they met is only coincidental of course.
hi hello welcome back!!! your oc angel actually takes up space in my mind i can’t even call it rent free because the rent cost is my soul and sanity PLS do you have any crumbs to share i beg🙏🙏🙏………
AHHHHHH i’m actually honored, and ofc i always have crumbs to share abt these dumbasses
As mentioned in TGR neil gets absolutely bullied by the incoming freshmen, and I think Angel is the only one to take his side early on (perks of moving in early in the summer and getting scared shitless by Andrew Minyard ig). As I’ve said before he never yells, and I mean it, but he frequently pulls his fellow freshmen aside during practice to tell them that he will slam them into the court wall so hard they’ll see stars if they don’t get it the fuck together. He is not letting them antagonizing the upperclassmen and the monsters get in the way of him having court time
He and Robin bond. Eventually. She was Neil’s pick and he was Kevin’s and when they both get roped in with the monsters they don’t have much of a choice other than getting to know each other
His first few months at PSU he hightails it out of the dorms and away from any of his teammates the second that Harper’s free. They know about his father which means they know too much about him, even without the details of the abuse or the foster homes, and he doesn’t want to be friends. He looks at Harper like she’s leading him to his grave when she suggests giving them a chance. Mentions one of her friends on the cheer squad is dating a fox and that’s how the double dates get started.
Angel and Aaron keep it pretty impersonal despite that, Aaron’s better friends with Harper and Angel’s better friends with Katelyn and they’re happy to keep it that way. Of all the foxes it’s obnoxious, eyes only for the court, Kevin that gets himself past some of Angel’s walls and it’s all because Angel is five seconds away from failing his history class.
Angel is laughably bad at balancing parenthood, exy, and school during his first semester and he obviously picks his daughter first and exy second. Which leaves school on the back burner until he’s absolutely fucked. Kevin just happens to be the only one also in the kitchen while he’s having a not quite argument over the phone about how he needs to get his grades up. It gets mentioned that history is his lowest grade and Angel’s struck gold with the way Kevin’s stopped pretending he can’t overhear them. Joining Kevin for study sessions leads to joining Kevin for midnight practices, leads to the two watching games together usually when the dorm is empty, and somehow starting with history class has finally gotten Kevin’s eyes off the court for the first time. Whatever lies in the subtext of Kevin’s passionate rants about history or quiet confessions given to only each other about the past remains ignored in favor of the season ahead them.
Allison worms her way into Angel’s heart next on a night where Harper has Phoebe instead. The monsters are out for the night, Angel hardly talks to his fellow freshmen, Matt is out with some friends from the soccer team, and Angel was planning on using the time to study but his eyes keep glazing over three sentences in. So Allison knocks on his door, informs him of their plans, and invites him to pregame in their room if he’d like to join. They’re making out on her bed before they’re even ready to leave. Dan and Renee tell them they’re heading out and Allison and Angel make it to the party about two hours later. Allison had to fix her makeup and cover the hickeys, Angel has no shame about them until he has to look Harper in the eye the next days. Harper just laughs at him. It becomes easy enough to fall into bed with Allison everytime there’s a night like that and easier to talk to her from there. He’ll call himself a drunk idiot for it later, but every-time Allison lets him fall asleep curled around her in bed and lets him kiss her forehead as he brings her coffee before slipping out. Allison reminds him of Harper just a little. Brilliant, beautiful, and underestimated by everyone around. It’s not love, it’s just sex, but there’s undeniable fondness he holds for her as a friend.
And for awhile those are the only three that know anything about Angel beyond the scattered remains of his past. Neil weasels his way in next with his loud mouth and lack of self preservation. The duty to protect him on court as defense shifts to a need to keep this dumbass motherfucker alive off of it. Neil doesn’t talk about his past, but everyone already knows and what remains unknown about his time with the ravens is something Angel can be piece together through conversations with Kevin. Angel gradually gives Neil bits and pieces of his own past until they stop noticing their fathers features in each other and Angel comes to the horrifying realization that he trusts this idiot who’s gonna get them all killed.
Nicky’s friendship follows quickly once he realizes there’s an opening and Angel is actually talking to people. They rarely talk about the difficult things but Angel ends up wrapped in one of Nicky’s hugs after bad days and nightmares far more easily than the either of the twins have ever accepted the affection.
Angel doesn’t know when he started trusting Andrew but he does remember the day the watchful eyes on his back started to feel like those of a guard dog rather than a threat. It wasn’t anymore comforting, having Andrew watching out for him didn’t make the goalkeeper less unsettling to be around, but he accepts it. Accepts the hand that will inevitably tangle in his jersey, yanking him back if he tries to leave the court before the rest of the monster and therefore leave Andrew’s sight. Accepts his place during team meetings is on the floor in front of the couch, perfectly in reach for Andrew to grab his hair and tug till his head tilts back and his gaze lands on Andrew rather than the spot on the wall that had been allowing him to drift to memories he’d rather not have. Accepts Andrew’s inevitable company when Angel goes to the roof to smoke after getting P to bed. And he’d prefer to not trust Andrew as far as he can throw him but it sneaks up on him anyway.
This is not where I planned on going with this and I don’t remember how I got here, but I hope you enjoy these Angel crumbs
