blackberries and sandcastles and ladybugs @tessasilverswan - Tumblr Blog

Posts

pinned post except it's for me bc the in-blog search function is fucking useless and i want to find the stuff i tag for that purpose specifically

and these are for you if you're reading:

#drawing ref #interesting info #reblogging for reference #saved #space #music #poetry #art #photography #my fanart #aftg songs #jeanee songs #recipes #kevjean songs

some drafts are not meant to see the light of day

#the joke is too dark and not funny enough i fear

koiagain

fun game called pick at ur scalp until it bleeds

hozierswift

clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in

valtsv

in terms of "dead dove" tropes in general one of my favourite ways to pervert an otherwise healthy and consensual relationship is to have one of the characters be responsible for something that was objectively and unsympathetically their fault and that they're determined to spend the rest of their lives making up for, but are unwilling (or unable) to confess to their new partner who only knows them as they are now and not as the shameful fuckup they once were, so they end up convincing themselves that they're essentially committing rape by deception - for the entirely selfish reason that is wanting to prove that they can succeed in obtaining and keeping one genuinely good, stable, unblemished thing in their life - by concealing it. but because they both desire comfort and don't feel that they deserve it they continue to do so, going so far as to try to prevent their partner from being exposed to any situation or interaction where they might learn the truth, even as it becomes a case of using them and the relationship to self-harm to satisfy their unresolved guilt that only grows with each passing moment.

valtsv

and then, just when they've finally started to relax and let themself consider that maybe, just maybe, they do actually deserve to be happy and move on with their life, that's when the other shoe drops and their partner stumbles across the information that fleshes out and gives shape to the unspoken thing that's been hanging over their relationship since day one, to the point that they'd adjusted to living in its shadow, in the least favourable circumstances possible. building your home in someone only to find out that your house is haunted and the spectre has been in the room with you this entire time >>>>>

#this is fucked up i love it

kevindavidday

so, seth gordon right? starting striker for the palmetto state foxes, very much dead, 'not a major loss', we all know him. technically, he had a problem with everyone, not just kevin. but, today ☝🏻i'm thinking about the narrative parallel seth has with *drumroll* riko moriyama.

when kevin left the nest, a lot of people assume and imply that andrew is more like riko because kevin was attached to him at the hip and he needed a partner. but, kevin needed someone who wasn't like riko in the important ways (see: protector vs abuser) this is similar to jerejean where jeremy is jean's captain, in a position of authority, a striker, and yet his core personality isn't like riko at all.

seth, however, feels like a parallel to riko that kevin can actively fight against. not saying he was projecting the entire time him and seth fought, but i feel like arguing with his fellow starting striker and being able to just. punch the shit out of him must have felt good 👍🏻 to kevin for a bit. seth's upbringing reminds me of riko a bit as well (which is where i would push my rikoseth agenda but that's a whole other post like i will deep dive into that ship peacefully) both of them were heavily neglected, with absent fathers and aggression embedded in their dna.

for seth's part, his hatred was more for the value kevin got because he was more famous than him. (that and kevin being a raging cunt) people would always believe in kevin but maaaaybe, possibly, two people expected seth to succeed. that's where another riko parallel comes in: jealousy. kevin is a better player, a better striker, and that doesn't sit well with either riko or seth. the obvious solution is to hit him (of course) seth was also the only other person who was actively offended when kevin chose neil for their team. everyone else warmed up to him but both riko and seth were verrrry obvious about how much they didn't like neil. in some ways i feel that was also because hey, this amateur is gonna take my place? him? he's the one kevin has faith in? (for seth, his dislike for neil was more until the moment they had that depressing convo abt not pursuing exy after college)

there is obviously more humor and compassion in seth than in riko but i've been thinking about their parallels for a while so i thought i'd share. in any case, seth's anger and aggression probably felt like more like 'home' to kevin than anything else after he left evermore :D

#this makes SO much sense #canon to me now #kevseth #kevin day #seth gordon

kosmogrl

codename-adler

do you think nathan wesninski would wear this

#those are the most butcher of baltimore shoes i've ever seen #not for during the butchering though

i wish i could make every lemon cake pie tart muffin custard cookie mousse in existence

#i crave lemon. uncontrollably

nothatsmi

The Foxhole Court, everyone

Not only do i like to make plans, but i's also something i kind of have to do to picture the place and make it plausible and accurate - escpecially if i want to make a comic.

That plan fixes the mistakes i made for the lounge one i did last year. I still believe the lounge looks like this somewhat, but i picture it wider now, the room was too small. Making those plans i had to remember that a usual exy team can fit up to 30ish people in it, so common rooms had to be large, each locker room should be able to fit ~15 people and so forth.

I'm preparing another drawing of a book scene. If you have a request do tell, i might make it the next one.

#oh wow this is so awesome #everything makes so much more sense to me now #like in my mind i had kinda fused the lounge and foyer together #psu exy foxes

you find some real funny typos when you take an online course that was not originally written in english. half-assed? no i do things bi-assed <3